Keeping Busy

We’ve got a full summer ahead of us! Which is great.

This Saturday is the Museum of Discovery’s Discovery Fest and DinoDash! (a 5K/1K to raise money for the museum). Then next week is Riverfest (Yay!) and the community pool opens! I just bought our pool pass/fitness club pass today. It was actually pretty cheap, since it’s just me – the kids are free at the pool. I’m also going to pay for the fitness classes. And I signed Vincente up for swim lessons!

So, we’ve got the DinoDash, Riverfest, then we’re doing a neighborhood yardsale on the 5th, then I’m going to go with my BFF to take bridal portraits (yay, Meg!) and then we go to UT for Christy’s wedding, then we come back for a few weeks, then we go to AZ for 4th of July festivities, then we come back, then Vince takes swim lessons, then Meg gets married at the end of July, then August, then September, then RUSS! Still got to figure out how to fill up August and September. I’m sure I’ll figure something out.

In the mean time, my weekly activities will involve running (gotta get ready for the 20K in Sept!), going to the gym (yoga from my old seminary teacher, then I’m going to try out some other random fitness classes to find a few I like) then going to the pool ALL the time (we’re basically going to live at the pool). At some point I’m going to get my hair cut. And I’m going to learn Bach's Partita No 3 on the violin and play it at a recital in the fall before we leave. Oh yeah, and don’t forget the Children’s Theater! That’s going to be a good chunk of the first half of the summer, too.

And hopefully I’ll start tutoring again some next week. I just need to feel settled in. And having some contact from Russ would help. I’m starting to just treat it like Basic. Maybe he’ll call, maybe he won’t, and if he does, it’s only once a week. I’m sure he’s super busy. Plus, Russ is the kind of guy that doesn’t always call. Not because he’s no thinking of us. He’s just not a “calling on the phone” kind of guy. He’s praying for us and thinking of us constantly, I know. It’s just nice to get that phone call every now and then.

Well, I promised Vincente that I would take him shopping to buy goggles for his swim lessons. He’s pretty excited. Maybe we’ll go tomorrow.

I also have to go to Savers and see if I can find a rock and roll t-shirt to wear in the “Rock-n-Stroll” 5K next weekend at Riverfest. Since I don’t want to dress up like a rock star (can you see me looking like Bon Jovi? Wow)

I’ll try to remember to keep batteries in my camera so I can capture all our fun events over the next few months. And chronicle them here on my blog. And eventually try to use Photoshop and scrapbook a little 8-o

Ha – that’s what I’ll do in August and September – scrapbook! Play Catch up. Maybe get some books printed. Sweet.

Our Army Strong Family

I enjoyed editing this photo, and it turned out a lot cooler looking than I thought it would! That is an embrace I can't wait to have again. Only a few months until we're permenantly moved together!! I love our little family - there is so much love, and there's only three (and half) of us!!

Quando Chega em Casa O Meu Pai..

(I'm So Glad When Daddy Comes Home)

Vincente was so happy to see Russ on Thursday. They had a great time together, of course, so I thought I would post a few pictures so everyone can see how much Vincente loves his Papai. 

Like Father, Like Son

At the park Vincente thought it was the best thing to play with Papai. They chased each other around the playground, Vince got thrown in the air (several feet!) and loved it, of course. "Again, Again!" I love the picture of them on the slide - you can't see Russ' face as well as you can see Vincente's, but let me assure you their looks are both of pure bliss. They were in heaven for those few hours they got to be together. 

They played together like they had never been apart. Vincente loved on Papai, tried to impress Papai with his amazing speech skills (and knowledge of everything around him) "Tree" (which soon became "avore") "Truck!" (which he quickly changed to "camiao")... It was neat to hear Vincente speak so much Portuguese. It was like Russ hadn't been gone at all. 

I can't wait until we get to live with him! As far as an update that way goes - the Army will PCS us to California as soon as I'm ready (which will be in January when we're done with all my schooling and Christmas stuff and wedding stuff). Meanwhile, we may spend Thanksgiving in Monterey with Russ, or he may be able to come to Utah for Thanksgiving! We're keeping our fingers crossed for the latter - his family would LOVE to have him home one more time before we move away permenantly. We will definitely keep you posted on the moving we do!

The Best Day of My Life

After the day I married Russ and the day Vincente was born... so technically the third best day of my life, but that doesn't make nearly as catchy a title.

This morning we woke up super early so we could get through the gate at the post and find the theater where the graduation was held. We got there in plenty of time (and good thing, because by the time the thing started it was standing room only!). We got a seat in the third or fourth row back. Just before the ceremony started, Delta Company, 48th Infantry Battalion marched in to the theater. They kind of went around the back, so we went out on the front steps and watched them come in.

Russ has been Platoon guide for the past two or three weeks, so he was at the corner of his platoon right in front of the Drill Sergeant, which was nice because it made it really easy to see him. I kept pointing him out to Vincente. They marched across the stage first when they came in, and then they stood up on stage in platoons, introducing themselves. When Russ introduced himself, I think Vincente finally recognized that Papai was here (he heard Russ' voice!).

After the ceremony, the platoons lined up outside to meet their families. I don't know what I was expecting from Vincente, but when we walked up to Russ, I said "Here's Papai!" And Russ reached out to see if Vincente would come to him. At first, Vince looked a little unsure, but when I started handing him off, he got all smiley and went right to Russ, and started touching his nose and eyes and mouth and cuddling against Russ' shoulder.

It was the best thing I have ever seen. Vincente knew exactly who Russ was, and become Russ' little buddy right from the first moment he saw him.

My dad took us out to eat and then watched Vincente for us for a while so we could have some couple time. Then we took Vincente to the park while my dad went golfing. Vincente was super fun at the park. It was amazing to me how much Portuguese Vince spoke when he was with Russ! It was like the lights turned on, and he started spewing Portuguese!! I've been trying to keep him familiar with Portuguese - using the Portuguese word for things, etc, but Vince never seems to want to speak Portuguese with me. With Russ, that's all he wanted to speak! You wouldn't think he even remembered any Portuguese. Kids are so smart, and Vince picked it up really fast!

We had steak for dinner, then took Russ back to the barracks. Vince was loving Pai the whole way there, saying "Eu te amo, eu te amo, eu te amo..." over and over again. I could tell that he didn't want Russ to leave. He kept trying to get Russ to look at the moon and the stars with him. Then when it was finally time to leave Russ, I held out my arms for Vincente. Usually when I do that (when he is with anyone but Russ) Vince almost leaps into my arms. He actually pushed my face away when I tried to get him from Russ. Poor little guy just wanted to stay with his Papai.

I finally got him back in the car, and his face looked soooo forlorn. It mirrored the ache that started swelling up in my heart. Then I distracted him by promising to buy him chicken nuggets for dinner.

So that was our wonderful day. Oh yes, and I told Russ what we're having - it's a girl!! I will have an entire post for that once I get back to Arkansas. I'll also update this post with a few more pictures from graduation (since all of the pictures from the graduation are on my dad's camera).

Oh yes, and Russ is actually flying out to California... not to Arizona... so instead of us making a big move to AZ in January, we may be PCSing to CA in January... crazy Army orders changing.

Tomorrow

I am sitting at the hotel with my dad and Vincente - tomorrow morning at about 6:30am we will drive to the gate of Fort Leonard Wood, MO and probably wait in  line a while and then... at 8:00am.... WE GET TO SEE RUSS!!!

And the hotel has a nice pool, but we didn't bring swim suits. I don't know if Wal Mart will have any swimsuits, but we can go buy something that is swimsuit-ish (some shorts, a tank top, etc), and swimmy diapers for Vince (hopefully). So maybe tomorrow we will go swimming with Papai (while my dad is golfing ;) ) Hooray for seeing Russ!! I just can't wait! This is the moment I've been waiting for since I drove away from the Radisson hotel when we left Russ there to be shipped to BCT. 

And it's going to go by so fast, I know it. But in just two weeks from today I'll get to see him AGAIN for Thanksgiving!! So it won't be too bad. 

I'll probably post pictures of the graduation tomorrow (and the sex of the baby, most likely).

Almost Free!!

I wasn't going to post again until I was in Arkansas, but I've been able to get so much done this weekend I thought I would post a little quickie before I go to bed.

I took a Physics test, did math and Physics homework, wrote a 10 page (well, about 8 1/2 pages) research paper, and studied for a Religion test. 

Yes, I'd say a very productive weekend!! Mostly in anticipation of seeing Russ this week. I don't want to leave here having a lot hanging over my head when I get back. The status right now is looking like pretty much blissful freedom for my entire WEEK LONG vacation (which, have I mentioned, I completely deserve!!)

We leave early Tuesday morning, and I haven't even started packing yet (I've got to get a few things from the storage unit tomorrow). 

Wish us luck!!

(PS Keep checking for the gender of our new baby!! It will probably be sometime Thursday night - Friday night this week!!!!!)

Internet!

I didn't realize how addicted I have become to the internet until we were without internet (and phone?) for nearly the entire day!! What made it worse is that I stayed home with Vincente today, so I didn't even have school to distract me. It was really hard to find things to do, but mostly I played with Vincente. He's still really in the stage where he likes to play by himself more than with other people, so he doesn't really need me to entertain him the whole day (which is nice, usually!)

I did get a little bit of journal time in, and had time to just meditate and things, which was nice. But I was sure restless. I've been very restless the past few days... waiting to see Russ. It's the only thing I want right now, but I know there are things I have to do in the meantime - school, take care of myself, Baby #2, and Vincente, etc... but man I just wish I could be WITH HIM! My heart aches for him. My whole body aches for him sometimes... okay, I'm going to stop. If I keep talking about it I'll probably start crying - and I've been so good for the past few days!

Just about a week... I can do it! One day at a time. And tomorrow is my ultrasound!! :D Unfortunately for all of you, no one will find out until probably Friday, Nov. 14 (the day after I see Russ). Theoretically you could find out on the 13th, but there are a few people who I have to tell in person (my folks, my sister, etc) and THEN I can publicly display the gender of Baby #2 for the world to see!! So, if I get to tell everyone Thursday night (i.e. everyone answers their phones) and I have internet access, it will be public knowledge that night!! So, keep watching ;)

check, check, check

Today was great! I got everything done on my to do list, plus some! And I got to spend time with Vincente all day. Man, things can't get better than that.

And the countdown to seeing Russ again? 26 days until his BCT graduation!!! 26 days!!

a brief pause

I didn't realize how long it had been since I'd posted - I know four or five days isn't really THAT long, but for me (seeing how I've been posting nearly every day for the past few months) it is getting to be too long.

From my last post, you could probably see that I was very behind in school. Thanks to very understanding professors and some good friends, I was able to spend a lot of last week catching up. While it took its toll on me (I am sooo exhausted, it's not even funny), I am glad to be less behind, and have more or less of a plan to get caught up. I should be entirely caught up by Friday (including an exam that my professor is going to let me take at home on my own time, even though it was not originally a take home test). 

So that was most of the little pause in my posting - trying to catch up with school. And in general getting back on top of things. It takes exponentially longer when you have kids and no husband. Once you get behind it's almost like you're going to be behind for the rest of your life. Ick. 

And yesterday was Homecoming. A fabulously fun time. I'll make and entire post about that. Remember, if you want to see more pictures of our life (I don't usually post very many on here) look at our online gallery http://werner.mine.nu/gallery/becca

Oh yes - and today was filled with talking to Russ - for like almost 3 hours! It was the most emotionally rejuvenating thing that has happened since he left. It's like I'm supercharged now. We just got to chat and chat and chat - you know, like you do with your best friend - just talk. That's what best friends are for, and I have certainly missed chatting with Russ. One thing about it that I have missed the most is pointing out silly things that Vince does and having Russ laugh. We get a kick out of our kid - and not everyone gets as big of a kick out of your kids as you do yourself, so I've missed that. Today I described something silly Vince was doing in the moment, and Russ' laugh was priceless. I miss his laugh. I miss his arms. I miss his voice. I miss everything about him. I want him back. A month is a long time more to wait, but in a month from tomorrow I WILL SEE HIM AGAIN! I can't wait. At all. I'm going crazy.

I love my soldier

I tried to scan a picture of Russ to include in the post, but my in-laws computer doesn't have any more room left on their (40G!) harddrive upstairs, so I couldn't save the scan. Anyway, I'll update this post with his picture probably tomorrow at school, or maybe on Tuesday.

Russ called today! On his own cell phone! Which was FABULOUS. It was exciting to see his name pop up on my phone. Hooray for mein Lieber. We talked for a while - it was so refreshing to talk to him (it always is). He sounds like he misses us a lot. Not that I didn't already know that, but it makes my heart break to be so far away from him. A man needs his family, and a family needs their papai. Soon... soon...

I really love my hubby. He's sore from doing a bunch of pushups, so I hope he will be able to recover before he has to take another PFT. He said he's so sore he can't even do ONE pushup - which means he must be pretty sore. I guess he over did it when he was doing them on his own. My strong hubby. I told him he should get a blessing. I think that would help him recover faster. Maybe, maybe not. Either way, I think he will do fine if he has faith. 

I got to tell him all about our car situation - he was really impressed with my awesome interest rate! :) I'm really satisfied with our financial situation and how we're dealing with staying out of debt and setting ourselves up for a good financial future. We really want to serve missions and be able to serve the Church, and I think we're eventually going to be in a really good position to do that.

I love Russ, and I miss him a lot. But right now my focus is on school and keeping myself and my babies healthy. I can't wait to buy a car so this car thing will be completely over and done with!!

RELIEF

At last, the point of my exsistence this past week - to talk to Russ on the phone. It was great to hear his voice, even though the quality was a little on the weak end, since he had to use a pay phone. Apparently the punk teenager kids in his platoon weren't checking the cell phones back in to the Drill Sergeant after their Sunday calls. This of course is against the rules (and trying to hide stuff from Drill Sergeants is NEVER a good idea... that's like ASKING for death or dismemberment, or maybe both). So as a result, all the cell phones got confiscated and instead of getting MORE privileges (since they've been at Basic so long) they're getting privileges taken away. Because of the stupid teenage kids. That's probably Russ' biggest challenge at Basic Training - dealing with the same kinds of kids that it was his job to "fix" when he worked at therapeutic boarding schools - the kind of kids who punch other kids in the face, breaking their jaws. Yes... a kid did that... and went to jail for it. And is back at Basic Training. I told Russ before he left that at Basic they try to find ways to keep you there, not kick you out. I said that to Russ to be encouraging, because he lacks confidence in his physical fitness skills... not because he was planning on beating people up. But this just proves my point - if kids who keep getting sent to jail while they are AT Basic Training get to go BACK to Basic Training... well, then I'm sure they're going to keep Russ there even if he has a hard time doing enough push ups and sit ups. I'm positive he's one of the best soldiers they have there. He's obedient, honest, a hard worker, and really physically fit, even if he can't do 100 gazillion push ups and sit ups.

Speaking of which, when we talked today, I asked him about his PFT and such. He said he still struggles with push ups and sit ups, but that his running is great. He ran a 6'47" mile. That's fast. And he's in the "Alpha Company" for running, which is the fastest people. Out of about 80 people who started, only 16 are still in it. They run around a 7 minute mile every time they run... and not just one mile. They run three. I don't care who you are, that's hard. So he's probably slimming down in his gut, which is good, because he was putting on a little too much fat. I hope he still has his muscles up top - mostly for his sake. He likes being strong. Well, he likes LOOKING strong, and being strong usually comes along with that (the opposite is not always true). Anyway, oh yes, and people keep stealing his underwear... weird, I know. That is the strangest thing I have ever heard of anyone stealing... underwear? Yuck. Why would you even want to wear another person's underwear? Anyway, so he's having to buy new black spandex shorts all the time (the required PT uniform undies). I told him that I will just go buy a bunch of cheap ones at Wal Mart and send him a pair every week. That way, if kids steal them, it won't matter, because he'll have more as soon as they do. In fact, if I send him too many, then he can give them away! He'll be the most popular private there! Heh. Anyway, weird kids. Stealing underwear! I just can't get over it!! That's disgusting!

Okay, so there you have it - the update for now. Life is good for us. I'm calling the chiropractor tomorrow so I can get my back and hips fixed. They pop all the time when I move... which can't be good. And school - so going like smoothness. I have a religion test this week over the gospel of Mark. Hmm... so I should probably go finish reading it! End of update!

crash

I picked up Vincente from the dentist's office today after school because he had to be there with my MIL while she waited for her 12 year old son to have his dentist visit. Then I was going to get home and wait for the two younger boys to get home from school, and if it was raining, I was going to go pick up the kindergartener from school so he wouldn't have to ride home in the rain.

I got Vince all buckled in the car seat. He was in his usually good mood, and played with me on the ride home, covering his face with his snuggle and playing peek-a-boo. Anyway, we started driving down the hill from Spanish Fork into Salem. The speed limit is reduced from 55 mph to 40 mph, and because people often "forget," the police dept puts up their little "friendly reminder" speed detector just past the new speed limit sign. They don't know this, but their speed detector is two mph slow. I can be going 42 and it thinks I'm going 40! But that's okay, because I go by my spedometer anyway. So I was watching my speed drop from 50 to 40 (well, from 48 to 38) on the speed detector, amused that my speed was two mph faster than it said it was.

Just past the speed detector, I turned around for a second to smile at Vincente - for just about as long as you look over your shoulder to do a shoulder check before changing lanes. When I turned back around, there it was. A yellowish gold car. Running into me. My first thought was "Oh crap! Maybe I swerved out of my lane!" My second thought was "I've been hit!" My third thought was "This airbag is yellow, my old one was white." My fourth thought was "Okay... I just got hit... oh crap... we're tipping over." As we rolled, my mind was flashing images of cars rolling over and bodies being flung out of the cars, bloody foreheads, broken legs... all sorts of scary things. Then when the car stopped rolling and was "safely" resting on the driver's side of the car, I looked back at Vincente and started screaming "My baby! My baby!" I struggled with my seatbelt for a second, then climbed over the driver's seat to the back driver's side door. Vincente was trapped in his carseat, screaming. I got him out of his harness, grabbed his snuggle, and held him close, telling him I had him and reassuring him that it was okay. His mouth was full of blood, but he seemed okay. Then I noticed people coming towards my car. They kept asking me "Are you okay? Is the baby okay? Are you the only people in the car?" but all I could do was scream "What happened? What happened? What happened?" Finally I asked "Was it my fault!?" Once the lady reassured me that it wasn't my fault, I handed Vincente to her and finished climbing out of my mangled car. I didn't 100% believe her, because her word wasn't the final say, but it was a little reassuring. 

Once we were out of the car, she got us to sit down on the side of the road. Vincente's emotions mirrored mine exactly. If I was hysterical, he was hysterical. If I could calm myself down, he was relatively calm, and kept pointing at the car and saying "Our car?" I think he was wondering why it was laying on its side. 

The EMT's looked us over, asked if we wanted to go to the hospital, and once we said no, they let us go home with my MIL and brother in law, Brady. They had come straight to the scene from the dentist's office. So Vincente and I escaped with abraisons from the seat belts and carseat, and Vince had a few little wounds on his tongue from biting it during the crash (that's what all the blood was from).

Besides being incredibly shaken up, not having a car, and not having a husband (ironically the only time I get in car accidents is when Russ is gone to military training...) we're doing alright. Kind of sore and banged up. I'm going to go to the Dr's office tomorrow to get the baby checked out. Vince looks fine, but if he starts acting weird at all, I'm taking him straight in to get checked. I could always take him in anyway, but it's too much of a hassle right now, and he really looks okay. Oh yes, and I have increased faith in my Evenflo Chase booster carseat. You hope you never really have to test the crash ratings for those things... but mine held up. They now come highly recommended by me :) I bought an Evenflo convertible carseat in the first place (the Evenflo Titan) because consumer reports gave it one of the best safety ratings. I figured if the convertible seat was so good, the booster carseats must be pretty good too. Turns out they are! :)

Anyway, if you ever need help installing your carseat correctly, let me know as well. I figure I must be a pro at it if my kid got out of a rolling car with only a bit tongue and some seatbelt burns. That's impressive!

While I was taking a jetted bath with Vince after the accident I kept thinking about why this might happen to me. I don't mean I was going around asking "Why me? Why me!?" I just like to see some kind of reason behind everything, because I believe that everything happens for a reason. I've been really feeling close to Heavenly Father lately, and I wasn't doing anything wrong or illegal or anything. So I thought about it, and then I thought about how we were relatively untouched during a really bad crash. I know guardian angels were looking out for us. And I honestly believe that there is more to it than this, but I think Heavenly Father wanted us to know that he is watching out for us, and that He will take care of us right now while Russ is away. It's like He's the Patriarch of our home while Russ is away. I feel very very blessed right now. 

The Letter!!!

I got a letter from Russ today! I can't tell you how giddy I was to see his handwriting on a letter in the mail. I felt like I was in high school again, getting a note passed to me from my crush or something! Anyway, I thought I would just write the whole text of the letter here. Russ won't mind ;) I hope!

Hey Honey!

So I just found out that my basic won't even start until "the 5th." Thursday? That's when I'm supposed to go to basic. Until then I just hang around here in Reception going over paperwork and ... I don't know, once that's all done. I'll let you know when I know my projected graduation day.

Shoot! I just found out I have fire-watch tonight. - O.K. It's been a couple of days since I started this letter, and I've been on fireguard twice now. It's Sunday, and about 80% of my company (Bravo Company) just left for a ZZ-Top concert here on the base. The barracks are pretty quiet now.

Went to church today with 12 other privates - 3 or 4 of which came with cuase of a Lamanite-Nephite story I told them with Captain Moroni and his soldiers. It seems I might ship on Wednesday instead of Thursday, but like I said, I'll get a letter to you as quick as I can (Don't send any back to this address).

There's not much else to talk about now, since I'm just in Reception, waiting to go to basic. 

The Drill Seargant noticed me and private Ross (from Sweden) standing out of a (rated R) movie and inquired as to why. We explained the LDS take on violence, language, sex, etc, which the seargant thought was kind of strange, then, after a second of awkward silence, he said "Chronicles of Riddick it is," marched right into the auditorium and stopped the move (right in the middle) And to the moans and groans of about 400 privates whose movie had been so abruptly interrupted, he yelled, "Shut up! I don't like this movie. We're putting in a different one!"

I hope you are feeling well. Are you hanging out w/ Jessica a lot now? If so, tell her to speak only in Italian to Vince. By the way, how is he doing? Does he seem to notice my absence? When I am alone at night, I imagine him in my arms. That's where you both belong!

I love you so much! I talk about you guys all the time. Just remember if you miss me, to just talk to the 3rd member of our marriage: Heavenly Father.

Love,

Russ

So I have officially decided that I have the best husband in the world. He is the kind of guy you want to be with for eternity. The kind of guy who stands up for his beliefs, has a kind heart, loves his family, knows just what to say and when to say it, and I miss SOOO much!

I love him. I miss him. I can't wait to see him again. The temple this morning was just what I needed. I felt Heavenly Father's love for me so strongly. Like he's taking care of me - emotionally, spiritually, and in every other way.

I am so grateful for the gospel in my life and the hope and peace and comfort that I am able to have because of my testimony of the gospel. There is so much hope in the gospel! And there is so much love to be felt by Heavenly Father! I echo the words of Lehi, "I am encircled about eternally in the arms of His love"!

phone calls

Okay, so you know you're pathetically aching for a person when you use their phone to call your phone (so you can find your phone) and then when you finally find your phone, you see that you've missed calls from that person, and your heart jumps... then you remember that it was really just you calling yourself... and you feel really stupid.

On a lighter note, I have talked to Russ about three times since he's been gone, and since he's only been gone since Monday night, I'd say that's pretty good! The phone call on Thursday morning was definitely sorely needed. He had to call to ask some questions about his top secret security clearance background check thing. That's right. My husband is going to have top secret security clearance. Actually, knowing that makes me a little more afraid for him serving in the military. I mean, the people in the most danger in times of war are the infantry men, the guys holding the guns on the front lines and actually killing people. But next to that, and even in times of "peace" - the guys with the top secret knowledge - those are the ones whose names are probably top on the hit lists. Now, Russ is just a grunt, so it's not like he's going to know some crazy official confidential government secrets... but just the same... it makes me more nervous.

But he's going to love his military job - I just know it. It's totally him - learning languages, talking to people from all over the world and traveling all over the world. It just suits him perfectly. And I don't mind the military-wife life. In fact, it's something I always expected that I would do. I knew that if I married the kind of man I wanted to marry, he would probably either be in the military, or end up serving at some point in our marriage. We'll see how much I like it if he ever gets deployed to Iraq :-{

wee hours

Maybe my body is just used to getting 5 hours of sleep instead of 8. That compounded with the fact that I'm just finishing my first trimester, so I'm going from the stage where I can't eat anything substantial or I'll puke, to the stage where I have to be constantly stuffing my face with whatever I can get my hands on. So I keep waking up at 3:45 (and yes... it is about 3:45 every morning... not 3:30, not 4:00... 3:45) with my nose stuffed beyond breathability, my bladder so full I feel like I might explode, and my stomach growling obscenities at me. Yes. That is second trimester bliss. I am soooo excited...

Anyway, this morning it worked out okay, because I'm leaving around 5:20 to go to a step aerobics class with my MIL. I've worked it out now so I'll go to step on Mondays and Fridays, run Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays, and go for an evening walk with my neighbor on Wednesday evenings. So I've got my life pretty active. Hopefully it also helps me distract myself from the fact that my sweet husband is gone for a few months. I got to talk to him yesterday morning, so that makes three time since he left Monday night. That's pretty good, if you ask me! It's been keeping me sane. I can't wait to get letters. Just the anticipation of knowing that eventually there will be something in the mailbox for you makes the missing someone more bearable.

the loneliness bird

"Deep inside me the loneliness bird laid a large stone egg."

 - The Power of One

I'm really missing Russ. It hits me the hardest when I'm alone... so I try not to be alone. I try to just stay around Vincente and the rest of the huge Rowley clan whenever I can. Then I get distracted and I can't think about it too much.

But when I'm hanging out by myself... that's when it starts getting to me.

I think I was starting to get really used to Russ... and now that he's gone, I realize what I had all that time. Sometimes you take for granted what is right in front of you... and once it's gone, you realize what you would do to keep it there forever. Good thing this BCT thing is only a few months. Of course, then it's on to MORE training... *sigh* I'm just anxious for the day when we get to live in the same house again. Which actually won't be until the spring... that's a looong time!! :( I miss my Russell-head...