Happy Hump Day

Is it Wednesday already? I am so ready for the weekend – probably because it is General Conference weekend.

I hope that I didn’t offend anyone with my breastfeeding post. I was just feeling kind of strongly about it at the moment.

I dreamt last night that I gave birth to a little baby boy who weighed about 7.5 lbs. He was beautiful, and I breast fed him. And Christy (my sister) was there with me at the birth instead of Russ. And I didn’t even have to push him out. Ha ha ha. That was probably the part that gave it away as a dream!

Not sure if it means anything (I am not pregnant – and not trying to be pregnant). Just thought I’d share. It was kind of a crazy dream. And at first he wasn’t crying (he was doing that silent cry that really really made babies do) but then he suddenly started crying, and that’s when I woke up (around 1:30 a.m.) to hear Joseline screaming in her room.

So we spent nearly the entire night trying to calm a freaked out two-year-old. Several prayers, songs, water bottles, and snuggles later, she was asleep. But I think she’s going to need a serious nap.

Monday Musings – Breastfeeding, the outcast

I have been thinking about breast feeding a lot lately. Mostly I’ve been thinking about all the misunderstandings surrounding breast feeding. What has spurred this? No, I’m not pregnant (but I wish I was – more about that later). I think what started me thinking so strongly about breast feeding was finding that my aunt who just had her first baby has stopped breastfeeding before her baby was 2 months old because “her milk dried up.”

Now, before I go on, let me say that I know that there are some women who just can’t (physically) breastfeed. But let me also say that the number is a lot smaller than people think it is. However, there are a lot of women who emotionally can’t breastfeed, due to lack of support or lack of desire. I think those are the two real reasons why women aren’t successful at breast feeding. And really, the lack of desire is closely linked to the lack of support. Women who were brought up in “non breast feeding” homes I think are more likely to lack the desire to breast feed.

The whole perception of breastfeeding is what is messed up. Too many people think that breastfeeding is something that is nice to do “if you can” but not essential, and it’s “okay” if you don’t breastfeed. Sure, in way, that’s true. You’re not a sinner if you don’t breastfeed. However, breastfeeding is completely natural, normal, and is actually how God intended for us to feed our children. He didn’t make women produce milk “just in case” someone didn’t come up with formula.

Being a strong advocate of adoption, I completely understand the significance of better infant formula that is almost as good as breast milk (formula will never ever be as good a breast milk. Ever.) There are infants who would die if it wasn’t for formula. So for that, I’m grateful for formula.

But there are women who plan on feeding formula for the majority of their baby’s lives. Vincente never had formula, and Joseline only had formula a handful of times (and I think they were all when I was gone longer than expected).

Now, back to the perception of breast feeding. To a lot of women (even those who are stay at home moms) “breast feeding” involved pumping breast milk, sticking it in a bottle, and giving it to the baby.

This is not breastfeeding. The only time a mother should be pumping is when the baby cannot latch (ie, a preemie, severe latching problems, or separation). I pumped for Joseline when I was away from her for a weekend when she was about 5 months old.

I think part of the problem is that women don’t associate having a baby with breastfeeding. There is a reason why milk comes in when you have a baby. It’s because you are supposed to put that baby on your breast and nourish it.

BREASTS ARE FOR BREASTFEEDING. Sure, they are for other things, as well, but their very nature is for breastfeeding. Women think of their breasts as a sex symbol. We worry about our cup size, we worry about how a shirt makes our breasts look. But breasts are originally and ultimately for breast feeding our children. That’s why even very small-breasted women (like myself  - I barely fill an A cup) can still breastfeed successfully (Baby #1 – 10.5 months, exclusively breastfed until solid food around 4.5/5 months when he started cereals; Baby #2 – 12 months, exclusively breastfed for 6 months). Both of my babies are ultra healthy, have never had ear infections, and have never had anything worse than the sniffles.

I think that if women who wanted to get pregnant would equate that with wanting to breastfeed, and would think about breastfeeding while they were thinking about what color to paint the nursery, there would be better breastfeeding figures in our society.

I do not judge women who choose not to breastfeed (whether for real or perceived real reasons) but please do not spread your lack of enthusiasm for breast feeding to new or expectant mothers. Too often, I hear this from people who (often) chose not to breastfeed (because it was hard because ______ – news flash – breastfeeding is NOT easy, just like being a mother is not easy. Oh wait, that’s right, breastfeeding is part of being a mother). I hear people saying “It’s okay if you can’t (read: don’t want to) breast feed. Your kids will be just as healthy if you don’t.”

THIS IS NOT TRUE! Sure, choosing to formula feed your babies is not giving them a death sentence. But PLEASE do not tell people flat out lies – that formula fed babies are just as healthy as breast fed babies because THIS IS JUST COMPLETELY NOT TRUE. NOT TRUE. NOT TRUE!!! It is a load of crap mothers feed themselves (and others) to make themselves feel better for not breast feeding. Well, I have two things to say to that:

#1) You have no reason to feel bad about choosing not to breast feed. Like I said before, it is not a sin. If you really do feel bad, then make up for it by encouraging other new mothers to breast feed – not by spouting untruths to them to make yourself feel better.

#2) It is a scientifically proven fact that breast fed babies are indeed healthier than formula fed babies. SCIENTIFICALLY PROVEN.

You know what, breast feeding is even so important that the Surgeon General of the United States himself has issued a call to support breast feeding.

Breast feeding is natural, normal, and our God-given ability as mothers. Have faith in that God-given ability, and go find help from people who know what they are doing, and by golly, breast feed your child! Don’t pump and give them a bottle – latch that baby on your breast and let them drink the liquid gold that your body creates in a beautiful miracle. If it hurts, find out why and fix it! Don’t just give up because it hurts for two weeks. Fix your latch, talk to a lactation consultant, call La Leche League, go to your OB, your midwife, your friend, your neighbor, SOMEONE, and GET HELP!

And then, if you really can’t breastfeed – then blessings to you for trying, and for wanting to, and for doing everything you could to keep breastfeeding, and my heart goes out to you – you are a great mother, and please help other women breastfeed, don’t feed them a load of crap just because you weren’t able to breastfeed – you are still a good person, and breast is still best.

Sorry for my rant. I hope I don’t offend anyone. I just had to get that off my chest.

Breastfeeding reads:
The Surgeon General's call
Dr Jack Newman’s website
La Leche League International

My New Normal v.1.1

So here's (approximately) how things went down yesterday:

 9am - finally drag myself out of bed and feed Vincente breakfast, then nurse Joseline

10am - put Joseline down for a nap, do chores

11am - eat lunch with Russ

11:30 - head out for Park Day

1:30pm - come home and put Vince down for a nap, put away some laundry while Joseline decides whether or not to fall asleep

2:00pm - put Joseilne down for a nap, do more chores (sweep and dishes)

4:30pm - take a 30 minute nap while Vincente plays in the living room

5:00pm - wake up and play with Vincente - somewhere in there I nursed Joseline

6:00pm - start cooking dinner

6:45pm - eat dinner

8:00pm - get Vincente ready for bed

8:30pm - Vincente bedtime

9:30pm - Joseline went to bed

Joseline is getting a lot more efficient at nursing. She'll be done in 10 minutes or less at each breast. She just gulps it all down and then she's like "okay, I'm done." It's really nice - it's not like Vincente who would dink around for 15 minutes and then "be done" and then nurse again an hour later. She nurses for 20 minutes all around and then she's good for a few hours. Sometimes three hours. It's really nice. She just knows how to get her milk, I guess. 

Anyway, her nursing more efficiently does two amazing things for me 1.) takes up less time in the day, and 2.) gives me bigger windows of time to stick to my planned routine. 

Yesterday I was able to sweep the house (you may not be able to tell I swept, but I did! Stupid dirty, dusty house and hardwood floors), do all the dishes, put away the laundry, play with Vincente, and even blog a little bit. Oh yeah, AND we went to the park. I can't believe I had all the time. Today is shaping up to be just as good. :D 

when the going gets tough

We thought Joseline would be a great sleeper... and she actually is... it's just been a little challenging to get her to go to sleep at night. She'll get tired, but then she'll "fall asleep" and two minutes later wake up again. She'll do this for hours 8-o

Last night she finally went to sleep around 11pm. It was much better than the last few nights - she'd been waiting until the wee hours of the morning to completely fall asleep. Last night she only woke up once (around 3) to nurse, and then went back to sleep until about 6am (when Russ gets up for work). I nursed her again and let her sleep until I got out of the shower at 9. So She really does sleep in good chunks, going right back to sleep after she nurses. It's been a rough week, though. Two nights ago it was like she wanted to go to sleep around 9pm, so I thought maybe she would do the same thing last night... it stinks being wrong. 

Well, once she permenantly goes to sleep, she stays asleep for a good 6-8 hours (with the one feeding in the middle, which doesn't seem to throw off  her sleeping pattern).

Now for my new mother ranting... 

I have been feeling really overwhelmed - like there's not enough time in the day to do everything I want to do. All the mothering books suggest just letting the housework go and not worrying about it for a while until you get the hang of being a new mom again. Unfortunately that doesn't work for me. I'm crankier if my house is messing. There are two things that I like to have done all the time - I like to be clean (i.e. take a shower) every day, and I like my house to be clean all the time. That means dishes done and floors swept and vacuumed and toys put away in the evening, and only a reasonable amount of laundry piling up (after a week at our house, laundry starts getting out of control). But it just seems like I don't have time to do all that and still take a little time to relax (which is another thing all the "experts" suggest). It's not relaxing to me to sit and put my feet up when my house is in a state of chaos. All that does is give me time to look around and mourn my loss of sanity and control. Which isn't very relaxing.

Anyway, as the saying goes, when the going gets tough, the tough get going. So yesterday I somehow made it work (mostly). I didn't take a shower (but I did this morning!) but I was able to get almost the entire house clean. Today I'm going to sweep the part of the house that got neglected yesterday, but in all, I'm basically pleased with what I got done yesterday - AND I got to take a nap, and make invitations for Vincente's birthday party this Saturday. 

I think I'll be able to make it. Things are getting easier. I still feel like the hours are eaten up by breastfeeding... It feels like I'm always feeding one kid or the other or cleaning up after one kid or the other or changing one kid or the other's diaper.

But I wouldn't trade jobs with anyone in the world.