when the going gets tough

We thought Joseline would be a great sleeper... and she actually is... it's just been a little challenging to get her to go to sleep at night. She'll get tired, but then she'll "fall asleep" and two minutes later wake up again. She'll do this for hours 8-o

Last night she finally went to sleep around 11pm. It was much better than the last few nights - she'd been waiting until the wee hours of the morning to completely fall asleep. Last night she only woke up once (around 3) to nurse, and then went back to sleep until about 6am (when Russ gets up for work). I nursed her again and let her sleep until I got out of the shower at 9. So She really does sleep in good chunks, going right back to sleep after she nurses. It's been a rough week, though. Two nights ago it was like she wanted to go to sleep around 9pm, so I thought maybe she would do the same thing last night... it stinks being wrong. 

Well, once she permenantly goes to sleep, she stays asleep for a good 6-8 hours (with the one feeding in the middle, which doesn't seem to throw off  her sleeping pattern).

Now for my new mother ranting... 

I have been feeling really overwhelmed - like there's not enough time in the day to do everything I want to do. All the mothering books suggest just letting the housework go and not worrying about it for a while until you get the hang of being a new mom again. Unfortunately that doesn't work for me. I'm crankier if my house is messing. There are two things that I like to have done all the time - I like to be clean (i.e. take a shower) every day, and I like my house to be clean all the time. That means dishes done and floors swept and vacuumed and toys put away in the evening, and only a reasonable amount of laundry piling up (after a week at our house, laundry starts getting out of control). But it just seems like I don't have time to do all that and still take a little time to relax (which is another thing all the "experts" suggest). It's not relaxing to me to sit and put my feet up when my house is in a state of chaos. All that does is give me time to look around and mourn my loss of sanity and control. Which isn't very relaxing.

Anyway, as the saying goes, when the going gets tough, the tough get going. So yesterday I somehow made it work (mostly). I didn't take a shower (but I did this morning!) but I was able to get almost the entire house clean. Today I'm going to sweep the part of the house that got neglected yesterday, but in all, I'm basically pleased with what I got done yesterday - AND I got to take a nap, and make invitations for Vincente's birthday party this Saturday. 

I think I'll be able to make it. Things are getting easier. I still feel like the hours are eaten up by breastfeeding... It feels like I'm always feeding one kid or the other or cleaning up after one kid or the other or changing one kid or the other's diaper.

But I wouldn't trade jobs with anyone in the world.