Lightbulbs

I had an epiphany the other day. Let me catch you up on a few things, first.

Things have been crazy here. Sometimes good crazy, sometimes bad crazy. I feel like I’m always writing that on here – my life is crazy. Well, it is.

And I have been struggling a lot with feeling like I am doing a much as possible in the day. Most days I get to bedtime and I wonder where on earth the day went, and how on earth I didn’t get the laundry done, the dishes washed, and the bathrooms spotless. Because I stay home all day, and don’t have any obligations outside of my family, I feel like I should be able to be super mom at home – super spotless house, great meals cooked, clean laundry folded and put away, not to mention spending hours playing with my children, reading to them, and going places with them.

Well, here was my epiphany. There are not that many hours in a day, and when most of them are punctuated by unexpected messes, potty accidents, and children fighting, they seem to get used up a lot faster.

I have always tried not to have too high of expectations for a clean house and home cooked meals because two small, very high energy children (if you know my kids, you know what I mean – touch touch touch touch, fight fight fight, talk talk talk talk talk, sound effects sound effects sound effects… it never ends. Seriously) make doing all that very hard, and I don’t want to spend my children’s entire childhood cleaning the house. I’d rather play with them, and the other stuff can wait. Sure I can teach them to clean with me – but honestly, that doesn’t really get stuff any cleaner because they make a bigger mess than they fix. But like I said, I’d rather do things with them and have a little bit dirty house because “babies don’t keep.”

  Back to my epiphany (that was only part of it) – I went though in my head what my day looks like. I wake up around 5:30 or 6 (on good mornings – i.e., when Russ hasn’t kept me up all night watching TV shows or movies or talking), so that I can have a few hours (usually only one) to myself to prepare for the day – I usually spend this time reading the scriptures and writing on my scripture blog. Then the kids wake up and I feed them breakfast around 7:30 or 8. By 9am I have cleaned up breakfast, and have the kids dressed and ready for the day. Then around noon, we eat lunch, then we read together and I put the kids down for naps around 2pm. By the time Joseline wakes up (and Vincente, if he even napped) we eat dinner, and then it’s time for bed. So, If you look at things this way, the only time I have to do much of anything is in the morning, for about 3 hours. Sure I have nap time, and I do a few things, but I don’t really like to spend my kids’ down time doing things I could do when they are awake, like cleaning. I prefer to do things I can’t do when they are awake – like reading a good book, writing, or taking a quick nap, myself.

Sure, things will change as my children (and our family) grow, but right now this is how it is, and I think that if I can keep realistic expectations – that is, be okay with only having essentially 3 hours in the day to get things done, then I should be fine. In fact, the reason I’ve been doing so much better the past several days is because I have been okay with it, and I’ve been planning my days better to take advantage of those few hours. And I’m much happier.

When I am feeling down for not keeping the house spotless, my dad reminds me of this poem:

Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing, make up the bed,
Sew on a button and butter the bread.

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I’ve grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,
Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo

The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo
Look! Aren’t his eyes the most wonderful hue?
Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo.

The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.

(“Song for a Fifth Child” by Ruth Hulbert Hamilton, Ladies’ Home Journal October 1985)

Ultimate Mothering Success

Vincente just woke up from his nap crying, and I could tell he needed to go pee. When he got on the potty, I realized that he had peed a little bit in his undies, but he woke himself up to go pee! And then, he went back to his nap!

He has been dry for the past week or so, but we still make him wear a Pull-Up to bed (mostly because I hate changing pee sheets every morning – especially now that he sleeps in a full bed).

I feel like this is a huge step toward dry nights and dry naps!

I could not feel better as mother as I do right. Not that it has anything to do with me – but it’s just one less thing I have to worry so much about!

Monday Musings – A House of Order

Sometimes this is what my life feels like. Messy with little bits of life strewn all over. I’ve been doing pretty well keeping my life and house in order, but the weekend was pretty crazy (thanks for coming, all you who came to warm our house!) and I felt like I was getting further and further behind on life – leaving little scattered pieces of life lying around for people to step on. It was tragic.

Thanks to my sweet husband, he picked up all the scattered pieces and delicately put them back together for me, while I slept most of the weekend off. It was great.

Then we had an uplifting evening with some new friends on Sunday, and today had Family Home Evening – a beautiful lesson about God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost (the Godhead). We sang the First Article of Faith song (in Portuguese – Regres de Fe) and we’ll sing it every day for the rest of the month, and hopefully Vincente will learn to recite the first article of faith himself. We’re going to make a sticker chart to “pass off” the articles of faith as we learn them (everyone, me, Papai, Vince, and Joss). We’re going to learn one a month, starting with the first this month (since it’s such a short article of faith, and the month is over half done, we figured it was a perfect time to start, instead of waiting until January – “New Years” resolutions can be made at any time of the year, in my book!)

So, now that the house is mostly back in order, and I got 8 full hours of sleep last night (plus a 1 1/2 hour nap! Which I wasn’t planning on taking...) I think I will be able to keep the little bits of my life from getting too scattered.

And Family Home Evening always puts me in a good mood – especially when they are followed with conversations like this:

Me: Vince, does Heavenly Father have a body like ours?
Vince: Yup.
Me: Does Jesus Christ have a body like ours?
Vince: Yep he does.
Me: What about the Holy Ghost? Does he have a body like ours?
Vince: Except, he don’t.

Love it. He soaks stuff up like a sponge (and I’m extra impressed, because FHE was entirely in Portuguese – which means he understands more than we think he does!).

What kinds of things throw your life off track? Do you ever feel like you’re leaving bits of your life strewn around? How to you clean up and get back on track? Do you have a sweet husband (or good friend) who helps pick up after you when you can’t seem to hold it all together?

“Es-kah-pey” (funny, it’s spelled just like ‘Escape’)

Name that movie.

Last night, after putting the babies to bed, I heard Vincente and Joseline... Joseline? ... coming up the stairs. Wait a minute.... Joseline was in her crib. My first thought, “Maybe Vincente helped her out.”

Put her back in bed and found her pack and play full of pillows and blankets (from Vince’s bed). Okay, she climbed up all the pillows and got out. Fine.

Fast forward to this morning.

Julia dropped off her twins, and we came upstairs because Vince and Joseline were still sleeping.

I hear someone at the bottom of the stairs. Vince, surely, has heard the girls, and has come to play with them.

Joseline?! What!?

So now I’m curious to see how she gets out of her bed. I go back to put her in her bed, and Vince is still asleep. Okay, fine, no accomplice. She’s a malandra all by herself.

I coaxed her to get out so I could get some pictures. Halfway through, she got stuck, but fortunately all her fussing woke Vincente up, who willingly obliged.

Here’s to hoping my not even 17-month-old malandra doesn’t make this a habit.

*me making a grumpy face*

a dog

No, we didn't get a dog (although we've been talking about it lately - we want to get one sometime this summer, but we'll have to see how finances work out).

I have been sick as a dog - hence the no blog posts. But I repenteth , and shortly to follow (hopefuly today) will be some posts updating you on what we've been doing around here.

An update on my health - I have mastitis, it hit suddenly on Sunday during 3rd hour of church (I was sitting in Primary trying to keep our 10-12 year olds in line). I thought it was just a bug or something, and rested a little after church to see if rest would get rid of it. I had checked my temp when we got home from church - no fever. After my nap, a 102 F fever. And chills. And crazy sick feeling. That's when I realized that it was probably mastitis - I had it with Vince, too - in the same breast :-6 It's funny that I didn't even notice the sore spot in my breast until Monday evening, after I took a shower. And it got worse. I was taking Tylenol to keep the fever down, but it only got down to 100 degrees, and occaisionally just below that. Anyway, my OB prescribed me an antibiotic, and I picked it up yesterday evening and started taking it right away. I feel much better today (well, no fever, at least - even without Tylenol). I feel like I've gone 15 rounds, but I somehow managed to have enough energy this morning to do the dishes, make breakfast, and do a few loads of laundry - that is, before the power went out. Yeah, the power was out for about 3 hours. Luckily, most of those 3 hours (it may have been 4, now that I think about it) was during nap time. Joseline napped in her bed, Vince napped in his bed, and I napped on the couch because currently the 75% of our laundry (the clean stuff) is taking over my bed. The power turning back on startled me out of sleep because the washing machine, dish washer, and all three fans turned back on all at once. Our house went from creepily quiet to busily loud all in a second.

So, we're back in functioning mode - power's back on, and Mamãe is feeling mostly good again.

Now to the blog.

less TV, more fun

Now that I'm settling into my "new normal," I have decided that it's time to get back into a routine of actually playing with Vincente. I used to be really good, and then I got hugely pregnant, and then overdue, and then had a baby, and I've been letting Vincente watch a lot more TV than I really should. So, from now on, he gets to watch TV until Joseline takes a nap in the morning - then, it's time to do something more exciting and stimulating! I've put together two lists - things to do inside, and things to do outside. That way, if it's too cold/windy/rainy outside, we'll have things to do inside. I only made my list because it's easier to remember all the fun things to do together if you write them down. I've discovered that boredom leads to boredom - when you're bored, it's a lot harder to find fun things to do. It's like the creative part of your brain shuts down. So I made my lists so that I will have no excuse. After Joseline goes down for a morning nap, I'll check my list and engage Vincente in something much more exciting than watching Cars over and over again (or The Land Before Time). This is actually a really good idea, because he only likes all the PBS shows that come on before Sesame Street. He doesn't like Sesame Street. Sometimes he'll watch Elmo's world at the end (because he loves Elmo) but only for a few minutes. It's odd. He likes Clifford, LOVES Super Why, and Curious George. He'll sometimes watch Sid the Science Kid, but that's an iffy one, too. 

So, starting tomorrow (because it's already the afternoon... and it took him FOREVER to fall alseep for his nap) we'll have less TV and more fun. It'll be better for me, too. Then I'll do chores while both babies are sleeping. I think Vince had such a hard time going down for a nap today because we hadn't done anything today :-p So from now on, our mornings are going to be nice and stimulating!

My New Normal v 1.2

I haven't been posting my New Normal lately because I have been way busy with everything else going on and trying to post pictures from birthday parties and such. So anyway, here is a conglomeration of the past two days of "normalness" -

8am - Joseline wakes up (it varies between 8-9am)

get Vince breakfast, nurse Joseline

get myself breakfast, nurse Joseline again

around 10am - Joseline goes down for a nap!

while Joseline is napping, I usually find time to get myself ready for the day, do a few chores, and some days (like today) blog a little bit

12am - lunch for Vince, feed Joseline when she wakes up from her nap (morning nap is usually only about an hour long)

1pm - get Joseline down for afternoon nap

after Joseline is down, get Vincente down for afternoon nap (read my post about getting Vincente to go down for a nap - it's getting sooo much better)

while the babies nap - take a little 30min-1hr nap, do some chores, blog, read a book (thanks to the library I have some pretty good reading material now!)

after nap - feed Joseline, play with Vince, hang out around the house

5:30pm - start dinner (I've realized that I have to start making dinner a little earlier than I used to so I can take a break to nurse Joseline if needed)

6:30pm - dinner

7:30pm - start Vincente's bedtime routine

8:00pm - Vincente bedtime

get Joseline down (around 9-11, although if we don't go to bed with her, guarenteed she'll wake up - she'll sleep fine out in the living room while we watch a movie, but will not for the life of her sleep in her bassinet alone. Sometimes at night she won't even sleep in her bassinet - she wants to be on the bed between the two of us - I've even tried putting a piece of my (worn) clothing in her bed with her, so she can smell me, but that didn't even work)

Last night, Joseline went to sleep at about 8:45pm. We put her down in her bed, and around 9:15 she woke up. We were watching Die Hard 4, so Russ went and got her, I nursed her for a little bit, and around 10pm, she fell asleep in her bouncy chair while we finished the movie. We put her in her bed around 11pm, and she mostly stayed asleep until 4am (by mostly stayed asleep I mean she made some noises in her sleep around 11:15, and we thought she was waking up, but she didn't wake up). I nursed her at 4am, but she wouldn't go back to sleep. Russ rocked her for a little bit and sang to her, but she still wouldn't go back to sleep. Finally around 5am, I nursed her a little more (laying down) and I guess she went back to sleep because I didn't wake up again until 8:45am when Vincente showed up climbing into my bed (Joseline happened to be awake, too!). So all in all, I'd say I got a pretty good amount of sleep last night.

I feel like I'm getting used to how things are. I'm starting to get a little more solid sleep most nights, I'm mostly able to work out the nursing with doing other things during the day (grocery shopping, going to the insurance office to get a new car insurance policy, visiting friends, park day, going to the Farmer's market, etc). It's nice not to feel so trapped at home becuase I can't get myself and two kids ready and nurse Joseline enough to get out of the house. Now I can and it feels amazing. If I plan it just right, we can do anything, and enjoy it, too. Yesterday I was able to get both kids their naps, go out to the insurance office, and in the evening go to the Farmers' market - our family and another family from the ward. It was awesome. Then Vincente went right to bed, and Joseline slept all night. I couldn't have asked for a better day.

And I'm starting to get used to the fact that for some reason, Joseline has a really hard time staying asleep at night. If I put her down for a nap, she's out like a light and stays out for her whole nap (about 1 hour for the morning nap, about 2-3 hours for afternoon nap, and about 2 hours for an evening nap around 4pm). But when she's ready to go to bed at night, she can usually fall alseep, but won't stay asleep. Really not sure what to do about that. Maybe it will just work itself out as she gets older (that's what the sleep books say).

silent return to sleep

A friend of mine read this book to teach her baby good sleep habits. She wrote a very positive review about it on her blog, and so I recommended it to a friend of mine whose 3 month old is having a hard time sleeping longer than 2 hours at a time at night. 

Then I thought, hey, maybe I'll check it out from the library and read it myself. It turned out to be a very good investment... I guess the fact that I didn't pay anything makes it a very good investment - gotta love the library.

Well, I read it at first with the idea that it would help me make sure Joseline developed good sleeping habits. Vincente was already sleeping 10+ hours at night and taking a good 2-3 hour nap during the day. I learned a LOT about sleep and the need for sleep and how our bodies develop sleep habits. I discovered that when I delay Vincente's afternoon nap for any reason, it makes him overtired and that explained the reason he was waking up throwing a tantrum after late naps. Dr. Weissbluth says that he is confused and disoriented which causes him to be emotional and unconsoleable after a late nap. The reason I was ever postponing Vincente's nap was mostly that I was just waiting for him to become so tired that he would crash on his own. Vincente has always been really good about soothing himself to sleep at night, but has never been very good at soothing himself to sleep for a nap. That was never a problem when he was a little younger, because it was fairly easy to get him to fall asleep by rocking or whatever. But now that he's a little older, he fights and fights and fights sleep. Well, Dr. Weissbluth recommends doing the "silent return to sleep." It works for little toddlers who won't go to bed at night, and I discovered that it works for little toddlers who won't stay in their bed to take a nap during the day. Basically it works like this - when your little sneaker gets out of his bed at night, you pick him/her up without a word, without even looking at their faces, and put them gently back into their beds without a word. You don't scold them for the behavior, you don't talk AT ALL. This clues them in to the fact that night time (or nap time) is not "play with mommy/daddy" time - it's go to sleep time. Now, I am of the mind that if your kid gets out of bed because they've had a nightmare, it's totally okay to soothe them and love them and talk to them, but I think Dr. Weissbluth would say the same thing. The "silent return to sleep" is just for the curious little toddler who won't stay in his/her bed. Like Vincente - he just likes to get out to play.

Yesterday, Vincente and I laid down for his nap, I read him a book, sang him a song, and said "Have a nice nap." Then left his room. I heard him get up and start playing with his toys, so I went back in, picked him up, and gently put him right back in his bed. The second time he got out of his bed, I went in to get him, found that he was poopy, changed the diaper and put him back in bed without any interaction and without acknowledging him at all. I went in a third time. On the fourth time, I thought he was out of bed, but he was just laying there quietly in his bed. So, not to have him mistake good behavior for unacceptable behavior, I gave him a quick kiss, softly said "Thanks for staying in your bed," and left. A few minutes later, he was fast asleep. It was amazing.

Now, fast forward to today's naptime (I just put Vincente down about 10 minutes ago). I read him a few books, sang a few songs, and said "Have a nice nap." He got out of bed once, trying to get some more books. While I want Vincente to have a desire to read, I also want him to be a well rested child (this has become even more important to me after reading this book). So I gently put him back in his bed. He sat awake in his bed for a few minutes, talking to himself, or singing to himself. Just about two minutes ago I heard some noise, I thought was him playing with toys in his room. I cracked the door to check, and there he was, eyes closed (still sort of awake), snuggled in his bed with his blanket. He put himself to sleep even faster today than he did yesterday! It was amazing. 

Anyway, so Dr. Weissbluth's book has done two things 1.) taught me a LOT about sleep, and how important naps are for babies and young children, 2.) helped me teach Vincente how to stay in his bed at nap time - GONE are the days I spend an hour (or more!) laying with a crabby Vincente while he fights sleep. I hope I can keep consistant, so this will stick. And I'm much more convinced that it is SO important to allow Vincente a nap at 1 or 2 pm every day. Too bad Church interferes with that on Sundays. Maybe making the weekdays more regular will help with Sundays. I'll let you know!

dead battery

Today was going to be awesome. I was pretty much caught up on all the household chores, so this morning I was planning on taking the kids to the library. Vincente needs new books (and our books are due on Saturday) and I love getting out of the house. But no, Russ left the key on in his motorcycle yesterday, so the battery is dead and he had to drive the car. So much for the library. And since everything is mostly done already, I have absolutely nothing to do, nowhere to go, and I'm about to get Vincente down for a nap, but because we haven't done anything today, neither of us are really tired. We're even still in our pajamas. And it's too wet outside (not raining... everything is just wet) so I don't want to take Vincente outside. I can't wait for our trampoline to be up and useable. It will be so nice to let Vincente play outside and have him come back inside without having to strip him down and throw him in the bathtub.

Well, here I go to put Vince down for a nap, and then maybe read for a little bit? I'd watch a movie or something, but I don't really have any good ones to watch... nothing I'm in the mood for. *sigh* I almost want to get satellite with DVR/TiVo so I can record a bunch of good shows and watch them whenever I'm in the mood. Oh well, I just can't justify the extra expense...

sleepy house

Nap time today was wonderful. 

Vincente fell asleep on the couch watching Monsters, Inc. I don't really endorse using the TV for a babysitter or to put him down for a nap, but his shows have sure been life savers this past week. Figuring out how to take care of a two year old and a newborn at the same time has been a very... interesting experience for me. By that I basically mean it's the hardest thing I've ever done.

     

Joseline fell asleep easily after nursing for a while (she's actually really awesome - she falls asleep AFTER she nurses... most of the time. Sometimes she's falls asleep while she's nursing, but so far if she's sleepy we've been able to get her to sleep without nursing. It's awesome!)

      

The best part about nap time today was that I got a nap, too. Only about an hour, but I didn't have a nap yesterday, and if there's one thing I've been needing this past week, it's naps. I've decided that starting tomorrow (Wednesday) I am going to get back to normal life. I think I've got a good handle on how to do the two kids at once. Right now, with her nursing so often, it takes a little more time than usual. In a few months, when she doesn't nurse as often, things should be a little easier. But I can do it now. In fact, I may even stop by the part for a little bit tomorrow after Joseline's check up. And on Friday I think I'll actually take Vincente to our playgroup at ACS. I just really feel like I need to get back into my normal activities. It just seems like I don't have enough time in the day because I'm always nursing. And it's hard to do things when Joseline's awake... and hard to do things when she's asleep (unless Vince is asleep, too).

I'll let you know how things go tomorrow...