Monday Musings – To Delay Action

From the Google Dictionary:

wait
    verb /wāt/
waited, past participle; waited, past tense; waiting, present participle; waits, 3rd person singular present

1. Stay where one is or delay action until a particular time or until something else happens

We had scheduled our home study for Wednesday a week and a half ago, and about 45 minutes before our appointment, our licenser called and said he was stuck in traffic, so we would have to reschedule. Well, we rescheduled for Tuesday, and then on Monday we remembered that it was Vincente’s first T-ball game that night. So we called our licensor on Tuesday morning and asked if we could reschedule (again!) – and not three hours later, we were getting phone calls from the rec center saying the game had been rained out.

So since Russ is going to be gone for two weeks (military stuff) we have to wait until he gets back for the home study.

What we thought was the last step to getting our foster care license and getting a placement has turned into the last leap. As frustrating as it is, we know that this is the right thing for us to be doing right now, and there is a reason for all the waiting.

Probably to teach Miss-Impatience over here to be okay with waiting.

I am not okay with waiting.

Monday Musings - His Plan

 
I have been having a hard time lately trying to make sense of some spiritual promptings that I have had. I won’t disclose the specifics, but I have been having strong promptings about a certain thing. However, when I think about our life right now and the situation we are in, the prompting doesn’t seem to fit, or make sense.

So I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how to deal with promptings. Obviously there are some promptings that you just take and run with it (like, “Call so-and-so.” Obviously, that’s probably a right now kind of prompting). But then there are more general impressions you receive, like “Have more kids.” and “Get a job.” Or something like that.

I am a believer of the principle explained in Doctrine & Covenants Section 9

Behold, you have not understood; you have supposed that I would give it unto you, when you took no thought save it was to ask me.

But, behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right.

So when I receive one of those “general” impressions, I try to study it out and then take my “interpretation” to the Lord for approval. Sometimes I feel that burning in my bosom, and other times, I get the stupor of thought.

I also have to be very careful that I don’t inject “my” will into the impression. I have to work really hard at making sure that my will is in line with God’s will (and it isn’t all the time… which is frustrating).

The good news is that I think I have figured out those “general” impressions that the Lord has been giving me.

I’ll let you know how it works out.

Monday Musings – Let it Snow

It has been snowing. Lots and lots. Vincente is excited to go play in the snow. Last night he didn’t want to go to bed because he was afraid the snow would melt while he was sleeping. After assuring him that the snow would still be there, he finally went to sleep.

This morning, the very first thing he asked me was “Is the snow still outside?” Of course it was. Then he proclaimed “It’s my special snow!”

Kids have the cutest perspective – they think all the things they love in the world were made especially for them.

You know, I think they are completely right.

Monday Musings – Fabulous Five

Or is it “Fantastic Five” – hmm... maybe it’s Fantastic Four, so Fabulous Five is perfect.

Five? Years. In about two months, Russ and I will celebrate our five year anniversary! It’s been a long road – a long, challenging road. But I wouldn’t trade any of it for anything. We get along so well, and love each other a lot. I think he’s pretty fabulous.

Anyway, more about all that in a few months.

We’ll be closing on our first home on Friday! It’s about time, is all I have to say about that.

And yes, I am writing this post on Tuesday, even though it’s “Monday Musings”  - life has been crazy.

There isn’t much I’m thinking about these days – at least, not much I can sort out. I’m getting involved in the community – I LOVE being involved in my community. Even though I missed the voter registration deadline because we were moving in. Bummer. So, no voting this year for me, but I’m getting involved anyway! I want to be a parent coach for a sports team for Vincente in the spring. He can do T-ball and soccer when he turns 4. I’m pretty stoked about it. In December we’re going to go observe some piano and violin lessons and see if he would rather take piano lessons or violin lessons, then he’ll start in January! I’m pretty excited about that, too. I would love to teach him either, but I think it will be valuable for him to have good adults in his life who care about him, besides just me and Papai.

I’m playing the piano in the Primary of our Portuguese Ward. And Russ has a pretty fabulous calling, too – but it’s not official until Sunday, so I’ll wait until next week to tell you what it is. I’m excited that I’ll get to be in Primary when Vincente becomes a Sunbeam. He’s learning a lot of Portuguese in this ward, and even asked to say the prayer in Berçario (Nursery) a few weeks ago.

We will probably attend our neighborhood ward every few months just to get to know the neighbors and let them get to know us. We’ll be having a housewarming party here in a few weeks (FINALLY!) and hopefully that will help, too.

Our life is just full of a lot of things, and it’s pretty happy, too. We have to adjust some of our expectations, and some of our plans – but life is about adapting, and changing our plans to make the best out of our circumstances.

Life is good.

Monday Musings – Follow the Prophet

On Sunday, October 3, 2010, President Boyd K. Packer, whom members of the church sustain to be a “prophet, seer and revelator” gave this talk.

As a prophet, President Packer’s responsibility is to call the world to repentance – much like Noah did in his day as he built the ark, like Lehi in Jerusalem, and like many other prophets in the past.

Unfortunately, as they did with Noah and Lehi, the world has rejected the words of the prophets, and have even gone so far as to petition him to withdraw his statements. This is not a new thing. It has happened again and again throughout history, and God’s word has always remained unchanged. As President Packer so bluntly put it:

...there are those today who not only tolerate but advocate voting to change laws that would legalize immorality, as if a vote would somehow alter the designs of God’s laws and nature...There are both moral and physical laws “irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world” that cannot be changed...To legalize that which is basically wrong or evil will not prevent the pain and penalties that will follow as surely as night follows day.

I respect everyone’s right to an opinion. But I also believe in God’s word, and I firmly believe in God’s prophets who deliver His word to us – especially in these latter days.

Satan is stirring up the hearts of men. A war is waging. “Who’s on the Lord’s side, who? Now is the time to show...” This particular battle hits really close to home for me. I have had to make some really difficult decisions about some people who are very dear to me. All I can think about is how to “love one another” while still being devoted to righteousness, and not “look upon sin with the least degree of allowance.” This article, a Q&A with Elder Oaks and a member of the 70, has been particularly helpful.

In response to the petition I mentioned earlier, the brethren had this to say:

Much of this was not new, but there were a lot of really great things said. A few of my favorites:

“As a church, our doctrinal position is clear: any sexual activity outside of marriage is wrong, and we define marriage as between a man and a woman.”

“None of us is limited by our feelings or inclinations. Ultimately, we are free to act for ourselves.”

“The Church distinguishes between feelings or inclinations on the one hand and behavior on the other. It’s not a sin to have feelings, only in yielding to temptation.”

I don’t believe that people are homosexuals or “gay.” I know that people will disagree, and that is fine. I believe that people have same-gender, or homosexual, attractions, and that they can sometimes be very strong. But they are still just children of God to me. If they choose to participate in homosexual behaviors, or live a homosexual lifestyle, then that is what they are doing. I believe that there is nothing fundamentally different between someone who struggles with same-gender attraction, and the rest of God’s children who struggle with something else. We are all children of God experiencing trials and struggles on this earth with Satan tempting us and trying us. We inhabit imperfect bodies with imperfect emotions and chemical make ups. We all face trials. (read more about that here)

God made man and woman. He created them specifically different – to fulfill different purposes. From The Family: A Proclamation to the World, “Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.”

As I write this, I realize that I am not writing it to an audience of people who don’t believe in Christ and the atonement. I am writing it in hopes that someone who feels unsure about the word of God on this issue can maybe read my testimony and perhaps feel the spirit and have a little better understanding of God’s word.

It is not easy to stay true to the Savior. Especially in today’s social and political climate. There is so much of the Adversary’s influence in our societies that we can be easily confused by the arguments out there.

Sometimes I get very discouraged because the world is getting more and more wicked – good is called evil, and evil is called good. But I know that there is hope and happiness available to those who live the gospel – for those who earnestly call on God in the name of His Savior, Jesus Christ and ask for a confirmation of that which is true. The Spirit will guide us. I know that because I beg the Lord for His Spirit to be with me as I raise my children and feel like I don’t know anything.

If there is one thing I know is absolutely true, it is that God lives and loves us and has given us living prophets on the earth to help guide us when we become confused about how to live in the world and not be of the world.

And I hope and pray that you will try to get that testimony for yourself.

Recommended reading:

Cleansing the Inner Vessel by President Boyd K. Packer
The Q&A with Elder Oaks and Elder Wickman
The Response to the HRC Petition
Many of These Articles
This Proclamation
Another Good Article by Elder Oaks

Late Monday Musings

I haven’t been blogging for a little while due to our little cross country move. Well, we made it! Thanks to my sweet husband who gave up his entire Labor Day weekend vacation to drive two cranky kids, to sleepy puppies, and his semi-cranky wife across the country.

We’re here in our little furnished house. It’s pretty nice. Comfortable. Nice backyard (the puppies are currently out there hanging around – and chewing up the garden hose... don’t worry – it’s been added to my shopping list... darn dogs).

As soon as I’m done sitting around doing nothing, I’ll post some pictures and things.

Vacation is sure nice.

Monday Musings – Vacation

I need  a vacation.

Badly.

Thankfully we found this house to live in down in Arizona and we’ll be staying close to post. We’ll get to see Russ a little, and have a backyard, and there are some fun things to do in Arizona. I have declared September as the month of perpetual vacation.

We’ll also be closing on our house in September, which will be the crowning glory of this summer (along with Russ’ graduation).

It’s been a long summer and I’m just glad it’s almost over.

Looking back, I’m trying to figure out what good things came out of this summer. A lot of things, I’m sure. I learned a lot. I mean a lot. It has been really good for me. I don’t know that I grew a lot this summer, but I think this summer has planted the seeds for growth for the next several years.

I have met a lot of really neat people, and I have been on the receiving end of some really great service and blessings.

I have become stronger – I can run nearly 6 miles without a problem, and I could probably do more than that, but I’ve put running on the back burner right now.

I wish I could say that my testimony has been strengthened, but I think it has been mostly stagnant. I think I will spend the next few days working on that. Throw myself into prayer and the scriptures. Figure out what Heavenly Father wants me to be doing right now (rather than just “waiting” for the summer to end). That kind of thing. I’ll definitely let you know how it goes.

By the way, if you haven’t yet, go here and create your Mormon.org profile – and share the mormon.org website with anyone and everyone!

Monday Musings – The Living Room Floor

On Saturday I posted as my status update on Facebook that I felt like lying on the living room floor all day. I tied the puppies outside to the garbage can and left them with a bowl of water (don’t worry, it was in the shade) I got my pillow and my blanket and my cell phone (in case Russ called) and did just that. Laid on the living room floor. Joseline played around me, Vince played upstairs and occasionally came down to show me something.

In the meantime, I tried to sleep and forget about the aching heart in my chest.

It didn’t work, but I did sleep a little – and then realized I was dehydrated, which was probably the second largest contributor to my desire to lay on the floor all day.

I fed the kids lunch, sort of cleaned up (i.e. put all the dishes in the sink and put the leftovers in the fridge), fed the puppies, and then went straight back to the floor.

Fortunately Joseline eventually went down for a nap, and I decided I should probably see if the puppies needed to do #2, since they were on the concrete and only had access to about a foot of dirt/grass/garden space. While we were out with the puppies, Vince decided he wanted to ride his bike.

Which is huge. Because he hates riding his bike.

He pedaled. A lot. Really fast. And uphill! Okay, he needed a little help with the uphill part.

We probably spent an hour out in the hot hot air (the sun was mostly behind the clouds) riding his bike. He rode his bike. I mostly watched. And eventually got a bike to ride as well, because he wanted me to ride with him. The only time he wanted to get off his bike was to get a drink because he was working so hard. He would say “When you got really strong feet, the rollers will go!”  I would tell him to have “strong feet” when he was pushing the pedals, because sometimes it’s kind of hard. He did a great job, and didn’t want to stop, but we had to come inside because Joseline was awake. He has been asking to go back out on his bike ever since. Thankfully it’s cooling down (the high later this week is in the low 90s!! AAAH!!) so we’ll probably get out more often. And we have a nice flat driveway in West Jordan when we move back to UT, so he’ll be able to ride there (and a concrete patio area in the back where he can ride while I’m up observing from the kitchen window!)

Back to the living room floor. 

I’ve been having a hard time with this grieving thing. If you read my post about my brother, you know that I like to Google things. So, in true form, I Googled “How to Grieve” and came upon this website.

I particularly liked what it had to say about “getting over it” :

Myth #3: Grief is something you "get over."

Most people never stop grieving a death; they learn to live with it. Grief is a response, not a straight line with an endpoint. Many psychologists bristle at words such as "acceptance" or "resolution" or "healed" as a final stage of grief. The real stages of grief involve tasks of processing and adjustment that one returns to all through life.

That struck me, because all this time I have been thinking that I will “get over” the death of my brother. But I won’t. I do know that the Savior’s atonement can help heal my heart and teach me how to live with and adjust to the fact that my brother is no longer here. It’s going to be hard, and probably a long road (one that will no doubt stretch until my own passing), but I will learn to live with it. The loss will become part of me. The Savior will absorb the hurt for me and help me adjust to my new normal of living without my brother.

And I’m getting help. So don’t worry – there will be no more days of me lying around on the living room floor all.day.long.

Monday Musings - A Jack of All Trades

There is a saying - “A jack of all trades is a master of none.”

While I am a firm believer that it is a good thing to be well rounded, I would like to have something that I am a “master” of. When I was younger (ha ha, like I’m old or something) – I was a master of music. I played for hours every day. I breathed music.

I still love music, but I am not nearly as good at it now as I was then. It’s not my passion for music that I’ve lost. It’s just the time and ability (kids, you know, they take time – time and love).

Teaching – yeah, I’m passionate about that. But not teaching like having-a-classroom-teaching type.

I like being a mother.

But I’m not particularly great at it – definitely not a master. And I don’t know nearly all there is to know about being a mother. And for heaven’s sake, my parenting style is whacked (partly because Russ and I don’t really have similar parenting styles – something we discovered with the introduction of children into our lives, and something we are striving to overcome – we’re getting there – unity in parenthood. We’ll be there soon, hopefully).

But yeah, I think being a mother, and learning how to be a better mother, is the thing that is mine. The thing I’m passionate about.

I’ve told Russ I think that I want to be a “professional mother.” Ha ha. But no, really – if there could be a “job” that was “mother” I would pick that. And obviously, there is...

 

But I want to go beyond the scope of just my own children. I want to be a mother to everyone who needs one (and that’s, well, everyone!)

Already Russ and I have committed to applying for foster care. Because those kids in foster care need moms just as much as anyone else. And adoption. We want to have 100 kids. No, seriously (I used to laugh when Russ would say this – but really, I think he’s right).

I read these girls’ blogs about all sorts of various stuff – crafting, home decorating, being cute, etc (basically all of them are moms), and I keep feeling the urge to write about the stuff we do...  but what is it that we do?

Yeah. Being a mother is my calling in life. That’s my profession. You can call it “Child Development Professional” if you want. Because probably in the “professional” world, that’s what it would be called.

But here, we just call it “mother.”

Monday Musings -- “Os pequeninos deixai vir a mim”

“Pois, é teu Pai e muito te-ama”

This is a line from the Portuguese translation of the song, “My Heavenly Father Loves Me” from the LDS Children’s Songbook,

(in English)

(em Português)

I have always loved this song – in English, of course – and it was one of the first songs from the Children’s Songbook that I learned to play. When we made the decision to raise our children bilingual, we realized that we were going to need the resources to teach them the gospel both in English and in Portuguese. So we bought scriptures (including the Book of Mormon stories, and recently the Old Testament stories), manuals, and the Children’s Songbook (and CDs!) in Portuguese. We read the scriptures as a family in Portuguese, and we have family home evening, and family prayer, and sing songs as a family all in Portuguese.

I absolutely love the Children’s Songs. I was raised to have a deep love for music, and for the gospel, and the music in the Children’s Songbook are just ingrained in me! They come to mind all the time when I am studying the principles of the gospel. They are a perfect simple introduction to the gospel, and the music is so sweet and beautiful, I just feel warm all over when I play and sing these songs.

When music is translated into another language, the basic underlying meaning of the music is preserved (as much as possible), but the words and expressions can be vastly different.

For example, this words of this song (My Heavenly Father Loves Me) read:

Pray, He is there, Speak, He is listening,

You are His child, His love now surrounds you.

He hears your prayers, He loves the children.

Of such is the kingdom, the kingdom of Heaven.

Whereas the Portuguese translation reads:

Sim, perto está. Sim, Ele te ovre.

(Yes, He is near. Yes, He is listening to you).

Pois, é teu Pai e muito te-ama

(For he is your Father and he loves you very much.)

Com terno amor, ama as crianças,

(With tender love, He loves the children)

Pois delas é o reino, o reino do céu.

(For such is the kingdom, the kingdom of Heaven)

I think the Portuguese expression is much more beautiful than the English translation that I just wrote there, but I just love that the words in the Portuguese translation say “He loves you very much.” The words “His love now surrounds you” are very poetic and beautiful – but I am a fan of simple and direct. You can’t get more simple than “He loves you very much.” This is the testimony that I have – that Heavenly Father loves me very much and it is the testimony I want to share with everyone, especially my own children: é muito te-ama.

Please let that piece of truth touch your heart. Because it is true:

é muito te-ama.

(if you’re wondering – I use Windows Live Writer to write my blog,

and downloaded this MP3 Player Plugin for Writer to embed the mp3’s in this post)

Monday Musings –- Seven Brides

This past week has been crazy. It went something like this:

Piano lessons, tutoring, rolled ankles, lack of running/exercise = cranky mamãe, making homemade pizza and pizza cookie = happy mamãe, swimming lessons (in which Vincente nearly drowns – but that’s another post), bachelorette parties (in which there is no drinking, but lots of laughter and conversation with a bunch of really smart ladies – a vet, a lawyer, a business owner, and an accountant. Whoa.), wedding preparations, wedding ceremony and reception, and finally a day of rest.

I attended the wedding of Megann Hamlin (now Edwards) on Saturday (picture at left with Jannae – one of the bridesmaids, and hopefully a soon-to-be bride ;) ) – the last of three weddings for this summer – phew!

I feel really blessed to have been able to attend so many weddings this summer! I have been thinking about my own marriage, and the beautiful covenants that I made that day.

I am so grateful for my knowledge and testimony of eternal families, and of the blessings of making covenants in the Lord’s temples. I found myself feeling very grateful for the covenants that Russ and I made in the house of the Lord. And wanting to live those covenants better and more fully. There is an earnest desire in me to live the gospel – a burning that guides my actions, and brings me to my knees when I come up short.

And I am so grateful for the atonement – the love of Christ and God – that allows me to be better than I was before. Sunday was a much needed day of rest for me.  I love the chance to reflect and be taught by the Spirit.

I posted some more motherhood thoughts over on my scripture blog. About the story of Ammon and motherhood.

I am going to post a “Monday Musings” post each Monday – just my thoughts, maybe a few pictures, and hopefully some of my testimony – because I need to share it more often.

This week I will be posting lots of pictures from our fun activities last week – and we’ll be visiting the puppies so I’ll probably write an entire post about them.

And don’t forget to check out my first ever giveaway – going on now!

How was your week? Does Sunday refresh you like it refreshes me? (I can’t live without Sunday!) What blessings are you grateful for?