finding my new normal

Thanks to all of you guys for the encouraging comments! I look up to all of you - kids or no kids! And Heather, you are definitely one of my biggest idols - I don't know how you do it - we haven't had nearly the trials you've had, and I still find myself barely able to tread water! Sometimes it looks like you're water-skiing through all the hard times - definitely a role model for me to look up to - I'm trying to find the tender mercies in every day. It's been really hard lately. Maybe I'll start posting them, too.

Heather is the one who keeps telling me that I have to find my "new normal" - and I'm seriously trying. Wow, it's hard! I used to have this nice routine down with Vince - I'd get myself ready before I even let him out of his room, and then after breakfast I would do my chores, then we would have lunch, then we'd go play outside, then naptime (and I would either nap or finish chores or play on the computer), then we'd get up and play inside until we started making dinner. After dinner it was off to bed. This schedule worked great for us. Now I find myself looking at the same schedule and wondering how on earth there will even be time for "normal."

It seems like the past few days have just worked out... but I didn't have a plan (and I'm a planner) so now I want to revise my daily routine/schedule, and I'm looking at the routine in disbelief, trying to figure out how to fit in getting dressed, doing chores, and naptime around 100 feedings. Okay, she doesn't nurse 100 times in a day, but sometimes it feels like that.

So when I sat down at the computer this morning to revise my daily schedule, I was feeling very positive. And then I quickly got very discouraged. So maybe I will make a really really general outline to use for the next few days, and then fill it in as things get a little more regular. I'll try to ease in to a "new normal" instead of forcing it on myself. I think that's my problem - I hate waiting, and I hate being in "limbo." I like to have a plan and be able to revise that plan if it isn't working. I guess that's what I'm doing... it's just a little more drawn out than I like.

I will definitely keep posting on how the "new normal" is going.