wisdom

Remember this recent post, and this one?

Sometimes I think Heavenly Father likes to build us up before He allows us to experience trials. That sounds kind of mean – seriously, it’s almost like a really mean joke. “Here are a bunch of blessings. And now I will try you beyond anything you’ve ever experienced.” I’m not sure if He is teaching me to appreciate my blessings more, or if He just wants to give me extra strength to get through the hard times.

But I know that Heavenly Father just knows so much more than we do. Our little human minds can’t even begin to fathom the duties and blessings He has in store for us.

In the talk from Elder Cook that I quoted in my last post, he goes on to recite this passage from Doctrine and Covenants – when Joseph Smith is in jail and cries to God, and Heavenly Father, in His infinite wisdom and mercy comforts Joseph with this powerful promise:

“My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;

“And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high.”

Recently in our family scripture study we have been reading 2 Nephi 2, where Lehi teaches his family about opposition and gives an excellent logical argument for God existing. Elder Cook teaches us (in that same talk) that an essential gospel doctrine “is that there must be opposition in all things for righteousness to be brought to pass.”

Well, we’re definitely experiencing that.

“We know from the scriptures that some trials are for our good and are suited for our own personal development. We also know that the rain falls on the just and the unjust. It is also true that every cloud we see doesn’t result in rain.”

Right now, what we are experiencing is a very very ominous looking cloud. It hasn’t rained (yet) and we hope that it won’t, and fortunately, this cloud is the kind that we can blow away if we have enough faith and work hard enough.

But the best part about having trials?

“Regardless of the challenges, trials, and hardships we endure, the reassuring doctrine of the Atonement wrought by Jesus Christ includes Alma’s teaching that the Savior would take upon Him our infirmities and ‘succor his people according to their infirmities.’”

Being able to partake of the atoning sacrifice of our Savior, and feel its power in our lives, and feel the Savior succoring us, “according to [our] infirmities.”

And how sweet that feeling is.

Happy Hump Day

Is it Wednesday already? I am so ready for the weekend – probably because it is General Conference weekend.

I hope that I didn’t offend anyone with my breastfeeding post. I was just feeling kind of strongly about it at the moment.

I dreamt last night that I gave birth to a little baby boy who weighed about 7.5 lbs. He was beautiful, and I breast fed him. And Christy (my sister) was there with me at the birth instead of Russ. And I didn’t even have to push him out. Ha ha ha. That was probably the part that gave it away as a dream!

Not sure if it means anything (I am not pregnant – and not trying to be pregnant). Just thought I’d share. It was kind of a crazy dream. And at first he wasn’t crying (he was doing that silent cry that really really made babies do) but then he suddenly started crying, and that’s when I woke up (around 1:30 a.m.) to hear Joseline screaming in her room.

So we spent nearly the entire night trying to calm a freaked out two-year-old. Several prayers, songs, water bottles, and snuggles later, she was asleep. But I think she’s going to need a serious nap.

Caution: Bumpy Road

This is what our life has been like the last week – a very, very bumpy road. Thank goodness it’s almost over, and everything has worked out.

I’m always amazed at our Father’s ability to make the hard times not seem so bad.

Among the issues of the week was Russ’ car’s alternator dying. He got it to start at work in Lehi and drove it all the way down Redwood Rd and it died waiting for the light to cross Bangerter highway. So I gave him a little nudge with the van (which scratched the paint on my beautiful bumper!!) and he made it across the intersection. Then I put a cloth shopping bag on my bumper and gave him another little push into a bank parking lot where we jumped his car. It made it a little farther down the road, but then he had to stop at a red light and it died again. So we pulled it over and charged his battery again a little with my car. Rinse and repeat, basically. This time, he made it to the left turn lane right in front of AutoZone and was able to push the car into the parking lot. We had originally thought it was the battery (which apparently in a Dodge Stratus you have to get at through the wheel well -  we will never ever own one of these cars again… ever) but at this point we were pretty sure it was the alternator. Sure enough – the battery was fine, but it needed a new alternator. Our favorite shop is all the way in West Valley, and at this point we were in South Jordan (10400 S 1500 W ish). The shop is at 5600 W and 3100 S. Oh yeah, and it’s been raining pretty much this whole time). So we buy a tow cable at AutoZone and hook up Russ’ car to the van and tow it all the way across the western Salt Lake Valley. It was an adventure. I was actually really enjoying myself. I had prayed the whole time that we would make it safely to the auto parts store (because I figured we just needed a new battery, and the guys at AutoZone could help us figure out how to replace the battery).

Well, we made it safely, and sure enough it needed a new alternator, and it’s all fixed and ready to go for us (we seriously really love this shop – they do a great job, warranty their parts and labor, and you don’t have to pay out your nose for it! and they are honest, and helpful, and fast – we left the car there last night with the key in the drop box, and by the time I called at 9am, they had looked at the car and were finding out which part to order so they could call and give me a quote. Then they called around noon to tell me it was done and ready for pickup).’

So we’re doing well, and have experienced the fact that Heavenly Father doesn’t always make our life peachy, even when we have faith – but he does help us through our trials, whether by actually making them lighter, or by making them seem lighter.

“I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”

Philippians 4:13

A Little Backwards

I have been trying really hard to get my life in order. I have been working on being more productive, getting more things done, and taking better care of myself and all of the temporal needs of my family.

In all that quest to be an “effective mother” – meaning, having a clean house, a stocked pantry and fridge, and dressed and bathed children – I realized that I have been seriously neglecting the thing that matters most.

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf said this:

“As we turn to our Heavenly Father and seek His wisdom regarding the things that matter most, we learn over and over again the importance of four key relationships: with our God, with our families, with our fellowman, and with ourselves. As we evaluate our own lives with a willing mind, we will see where we have drifted from the more excellent way. The eyes of our understanding will be opened, and we will recognize what needs to be done to purify our heart and refocus our life.” (emphasis added)

I studied this talk back in January on my scripture study blog, My Soul Delighteth, but I think that maybe back then my mind wasn’t as willing to see where I may have drifted from “the more excellent way” – but last night as I prayed for the Lord to help me be a better wife and a better mother, I prayed for help to “do the most important things.” And then something President Uchtdorf spoke about came to my mind.

“...it’s rather easy to be busy. We all can think up a list of tasks that will overwhelm our schedules. Some might even think that their self-worth depends on the length of their to-do list. They flood the open spaces in their time with lists of meetings and minutia—even during times of stress and fatigue. Because they unnecessarily complicate their lives, they often feel increased frustration, diminished joy, and too little sense of meaning in their lives.” (emphasis added)

I am a list maker. Ask my husband. I have your usual grocery lists and menus, but it doesn’t stop there. I have priority lists of things to buy, projects to complete, debts to pay off, books to read... even that list goes on and on. My to-do lists are complex and list every possibility for my day. Well, they did until last night when I realized exactly why I am experience that “increased frustration, diminished joy, and too little sense of meaning in [my life].”  It was because of the darn to-do lists. Sure, the laundry needs to be done, and the dishes need to be washed, and lunch and dinner need to be served, and groceries need to be bought. But the most important thing to do is spend time with my little ones. “We build deep and loving family relationships by doing simple things together, like family dinner and family home evening and by just having fun together. In family relationships love is really spelled t-i-m-e,time.”

I was trying to get into a strict, “efficient” routine that would help me feel like I had accomplished a lot during the day. But those accomplishments were temporal, not spiritual – not eternal. They were things that were going to last only in this life, only in this moment, and would not be as significant as the relationships that I can form with  my children right now while they are small.

From my journal last night: So I am going to try something new. Something completely different. Before the kids wake up, rather than trying to scramble and get things done, I am going to spend time with Heavenly Father and myself, meditating and studying the scriptures. Then, when the kids get up, rather than attemping to distract them so that I can complete yet more items on my to-do list, I will simply BE with my children.

It won’t be horrible if I actually get some chores done. It will be especially good if the kids help. They can sort laundry, fold laundry, help empty the dishwasher, help wash the table, help cook. I have had a little bit of a disconnect between being a mother and being a homemaker. I think that I felt like I could only wear one hat at a time (I could be a mother, but not at the same time as being a housekeeper, and neither of those at the same time as being a cook, or a courier or chauffeur). But really, the only hat I have is mother. And it is by far the most important.

The most frustrating (or rather, enlightening) part of this whole ordeal is that I just read and studied this talk barely a month ago! Why didn’t I figure it out then? I’ll tell you why. I am one of the most stubborn people in the entire world, and it takes an average of 3-4 months for me to admit that I was ever even wrong. Seriously. I think it used to take a lot longer than that when I was younger, but I have improved – probably thanks to my sweet, patient husband.

So far the past few days have been great. I have been spending more time with the kids, and less time doing dishes and laundry and washing toilets and vacuuming and cleaning up,  but you know what, my house still looks fine (not pristine, like I might like it to be, but it’s not unsanitary or cluttered or anything like that). And my kids are happier (especially Joseline – she has been a little cranky child for a looooong time, and finally she’s been pretty happy, only throwing the normal toddler fits, instead of just being ornery all the time.Vincente is being more helpful and loving.

And I feel more relaxed, and closer to Heavenly Father.

Vincente and Joseline playing on the air mattress with a friend. 

But who wouldn’t be closer to Him

around these little angels?

Monday Musings – Follow the Prophet

On Sunday, October 3, 2010, President Boyd K. Packer, whom members of the church sustain to be a “prophet, seer and revelator” gave this talk.

As a prophet, President Packer’s responsibility is to call the world to repentance – much like Noah did in his day as he built the ark, like Lehi in Jerusalem, and like many other prophets in the past.

Unfortunately, as they did with Noah and Lehi, the world has rejected the words of the prophets, and have even gone so far as to petition him to withdraw his statements. This is not a new thing. It has happened again and again throughout history, and God’s word has always remained unchanged. As President Packer so bluntly put it:

...there are those today who not only tolerate but advocate voting to change laws that would legalize immorality, as if a vote would somehow alter the designs of God’s laws and nature...There are both moral and physical laws “irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world” that cannot be changed...To legalize that which is basically wrong or evil will not prevent the pain and penalties that will follow as surely as night follows day.

I respect everyone’s right to an opinion. But I also believe in God’s word, and I firmly believe in God’s prophets who deliver His word to us – especially in these latter days.

Satan is stirring up the hearts of men. A war is waging. “Who’s on the Lord’s side, who? Now is the time to show...” This particular battle hits really close to home for me. I have had to make some really difficult decisions about some people who are very dear to me. All I can think about is how to “love one another” while still being devoted to righteousness, and not “look upon sin with the least degree of allowance.” This article, a Q&A with Elder Oaks and a member of the 70, has been particularly helpful.

In response to the petition I mentioned earlier, the brethren had this to say:

Much of this was not new, but there were a lot of really great things said. A few of my favorites:

“As a church, our doctrinal position is clear: any sexual activity outside of marriage is wrong, and we define marriage as between a man and a woman.”

“None of us is limited by our feelings or inclinations. Ultimately, we are free to act for ourselves.”

“The Church distinguishes between feelings or inclinations on the one hand and behavior on the other. It’s not a sin to have feelings, only in yielding to temptation.”

I don’t believe that people are homosexuals or “gay.” I know that people will disagree, and that is fine. I believe that people have same-gender, or homosexual, attractions, and that they can sometimes be very strong. But they are still just children of God to me. If they choose to participate in homosexual behaviors, or live a homosexual lifestyle, then that is what they are doing. I believe that there is nothing fundamentally different between someone who struggles with same-gender attraction, and the rest of God’s children who struggle with something else. We are all children of God experiencing trials and struggles on this earth with Satan tempting us and trying us. We inhabit imperfect bodies with imperfect emotions and chemical make ups. We all face trials. (read more about that here)

God made man and woman. He created them specifically different – to fulfill different purposes. From The Family: A Proclamation to the World, “Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.”

As I write this, I realize that I am not writing it to an audience of people who don’t believe in Christ and the atonement. I am writing it in hopes that someone who feels unsure about the word of God on this issue can maybe read my testimony and perhaps feel the spirit and have a little better understanding of God’s word.

It is not easy to stay true to the Savior. Especially in today’s social and political climate. There is so much of the Adversary’s influence in our societies that we can be easily confused by the arguments out there.

Sometimes I get very discouraged because the world is getting more and more wicked – good is called evil, and evil is called good. But I know that there is hope and happiness available to those who live the gospel – for those who earnestly call on God in the name of His Savior, Jesus Christ and ask for a confirmation of that which is true. The Spirit will guide us. I know that because I beg the Lord for His Spirit to be with me as I raise my children and feel like I don’t know anything.

If there is one thing I know is absolutely true, it is that God lives and loves us and has given us living prophets on the earth to help guide us when we become confused about how to live in the world and not be of the world.

And I hope and pray that you will try to get that testimony for yourself.

Recommended reading:

Cleansing the Inner Vessel by President Boyd K. Packer
The Q&A with Elder Oaks and Elder Wickman
The Response to the HRC Petition
Many of These Articles
This Proclamation
Another Good Article by Elder Oaks

When Your Gut Screams ‘No!’ but Your Mouth Says ‘Of course, I’d be glad to.’

My mom had a sign on her mirror for a long time that said this: Stress is when your gut screams ‘No!’ but your mouth says ‘Of course, I’d be glad to.’

I feel like this is saying “We create our own stress by not being okay with our limits.” Sure, we can push and test our limits sometimes – and our limits should certainly always be expanding - but if we’re not ready to expand our limits (and we need to be ready) we should just do what we can do, and don’t do what we can’t do.

For example, we can’t redeem ourselves, but we can do a lot of righteous things, and we can believe in Christ and let Him redeem us. We do what we can do, and Christ does what we can’t do.

I know this is doctrine, because it says so in 2 Nephi:

“...for we know that it is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do.”

This week has been really long for me. Most of you probably know that. If you don’t, read my previous post. Then you’ll know part of what I mean.

On top of that, for some reason beyond my understanding, I agreed to watch my twin nieces the same week I was bringing home two 8 week old puppies. Of course, I wasn’t anticipating my brother to pass away the day after I brought the puppies home. And I wasn’t expecting to switch my flight and get on an airplane in all of 24 hours. And I certainly wasn’t expecting to be as depressed as I have been.

Even though when I found out I would be alone watching the twins, my two kids, and the new puppies, and my gut screamed “No!” a little bit, I thought that was just my own selfishness, and that I should just work through that and do it anyway – after all, my help was needed, and I was willing to give (although I have recently learned that willing ≠ able). So I gave. But I really didn’t have anything to give.

So this week has been long. I have been stressed. And it’s not over yet. I can’t see the blue skies yet, even though I know they are there.

And next time my gut screams “No!” I’m going to take its advice.

 

PS – things are actually going pretty well with the puppies.

And the kids, for that matter.

I can’t wait to have our fenced backyard, though :-6

Monday Musings -- “Os pequeninos deixai vir a mim”

“Pois, é teu Pai e muito te-ama”

This is a line from the Portuguese translation of the song, “My Heavenly Father Loves Me” from the LDS Children’s Songbook,

(in English)

(em Português)

I have always loved this song – in English, of course – and it was one of the first songs from the Children’s Songbook that I learned to play. When we made the decision to raise our children bilingual, we realized that we were going to need the resources to teach them the gospel both in English and in Portuguese. So we bought scriptures (including the Book of Mormon stories, and recently the Old Testament stories), manuals, and the Children’s Songbook (and CDs!) in Portuguese. We read the scriptures as a family in Portuguese, and we have family home evening, and family prayer, and sing songs as a family all in Portuguese.

I absolutely love the Children’s Songs. I was raised to have a deep love for music, and for the gospel, and the music in the Children’s Songbook are just ingrained in me! They come to mind all the time when I am studying the principles of the gospel. They are a perfect simple introduction to the gospel, and the music is so sweet and beautiful, I just feel warm all over when I play and sing these songs.

When music is translated into another language, the basic underlying meaning of the music is preserved (as much as possible), but the words and expressions can be vastly different.

For example, this words of this song (My Heavenly Father Loves Me) read:

Pray, He is there, Speak, He is listening,

You are His child, His love now surrounds you.

He hears your prayers, He loves the children.

Of such is the kingdom, the kingdom of Heaven.

Whereas the Portuguese translation reads:

Sim, perto está. Sim, Ele te ovre.

(Yes, He is near. Yes, He is listening to you).

Pois, é teu Pai e muito te-ama

(For he is your Father and he loves you very much.)

Com terno amor, ama as crianças,

(With tender love, He loves the children)

Pois delas é o reino, o reino do céu.

(For such is the kingdom, the kingdom of Heaven)

I think the Portuguese expression is much more beautiful than the English translation that I just wrote there, but I just love that the words in the Portuguese translation say “He loves you very much.” The words “His love now surrounds you” are very poetic and beautiful – but I am a fan of simple and direct. You can’t get more simple than “He loves you very much.” This is the testimony that I have – that Heavenly Father loves me very much and it is the testimony I want to share with everyone, especially my own children: é muito te-ama.

Please let that piece of truth touch your heart. Because it is true:

é muito te-ama.

(if you’re wondering – I use Windows Live Writer to write my blog,

and downloaded this MP3 Player Plugin for Writer to embed the mp3’s in this post)

What’s Up, Doc?

I am going to design a header for our Family History website! I’ve already been thinking about all kinds of cool things to do. It’s going to be fun.

Word on the street is that we’re also going to have a blog on the website! That will be fun, too.

I’ve been tutoring more for tutor.com. You should check it out.

They’re hiring right now in the following subjects:

· Math Subjects
o Algebra 2
o Geometry
o Trigonometry
o Calculus
o Statistics
· Science Subjects
o Earth Science
o Biology
o Chemistry
o Physics
· Humanities
o English and essay writing tutors who can tutor on Sundays and between the hours of midnight and 3:00 AM Eastern time

It takes a little while to complete the application process (you have to take some subject tests, submit a background check, etc). If you have any questions, let me know. I like it.

I have also been running, doing yoga (Namaste!), and doing a crazy workout in the morning (Basic Training style workout – it’s pretty intense, and Danielle is like a Drill Sergeant. Whoa.)

Trying to keep up with my goals and stuff. I was a little lazy today, but I did take the kids to the pool (oh yeah, we go to the pool pretty much every day except Sunday – for obvious reasons – and Monday, because it’s closed). And I took (and passed) the test to tutor Geometry at Tutor.com. I’m going to take the Algebra, Trig, and Physics tests next. Hopefully I can keep up all my math skills. I still want to start teaching next fall. *crossing my fingers!*

So yeah, that’s basically what’s up around here. Just keeping my head above water and trying to swim to the other side. Hopefully getting a tan and building some endurance (physical as well as spiritual) on the way...

...see you on the other side.

I See My Mother Kneeling

Tonight I was pondering the significance of prayer, and how I love to pray and pour out my soul to my Father in Heaven.

It isn’t enough, though, for me to pray and pour out my soul. I need to teach my children to pray. I often feel drawn to my knees in prayer, but it seems like I haven’t taught my children to have the same love of our Father in Heaven.

I need to gather my children with me in prayer more often, instead of simply praying by myself. It isn’t enough to pray myself. I have a sacred duty as a mother to teach my children about prayer and about the gospel.

In a book I read called Preparing Him for the Other Woman (see my scripture blog), the author suggests teaching your sons (and daughters) to talk to Heavenly Father when they are sad or hurt, and also teach them to share their joys and excitements with Heavenly Father.

Gathering my children with me in prayer seems like it should come naturally with the territory of motherhood. But for some reason I have not developed the habit of praying with my children – even though I have developed a pattern of prayer in my own life.

I think it will be really neat to watch the changes in my relationship with my children, and mine and their relationships with Heavenly Father, as we gather together often to pray. I’m not just talking about family prayer here. I’m talking about drawing my children near to teach them to talk to Heavenly Father. It should be an every-day, multiple-times-a-day occurrence.

How have you taught your children about prayer? Was it easy for you to get into the habit of praying with your children so that they will learn to have a pattern of prayer in their lives? Do you gather them to you in prayer?