A Rite of Passage

A few weeks before Christmas I was working on several Christmas projects downstairs in the basement. That means my sewing machine, countless buttons, spools of ribbons, yarn, rick rack and the like were laying out in the open on my sewing table.

I’m pretty sure we were getting ready for dinner (it was in the evening) and I thought “I should probably put away my sewing stuff downstairs.” But we were busy, so I didn’t. Later, it was awful quiet downstairs, so I headed down to check on the kids.

Bags of buttons had been opened and strewn about the room, balls of yarn had been cut into tiny pieces. The sewing machine was off, but there were pieces of felt and rick rack shoved in the foot under the needle. I took a deep breath, tried not to freak out, and sent the kids upstairs so that I could clean up.

As I was picking up pieces of yarn and moving sheets of felt off the ground I saw it.

Clumps of precious, blonde, wispy, Joseline baby hair.

“Nooooo!!!”

I grabbed the hair and ran upstairs to assess the damage (which I hadn’t noticed before – probably due to the panic I had been experiencing).

At first I only noticed her pony tail (she pretty much cut the pony tail right off). It was only later after brushing out her hair that I found that she had scalped herself in the front.

A friend of mine had a similar experience and said she took her daughter to one of those cheap cut places to fix it, and they made it worse. Not wanting to make things any worse (could they even get worse?) we went straight to Cookie Cutters in South Jordan the next morning and begged them to repair the damage as much as they could.

They couldn’t do a whole lot for the bangs (we just stuck with headbands for a while), but the stories they told of kids who had done worse made me feel worlds better.

Everyone who hears about her cutting her hair has the same things to tell me, “Every kid does it at least once.” “Now she’s officially a little girl.”

Or they tell me their horror stories.

Which really do make me feel better.

At least she didn’t take the clippers down the middle of her head.

Hair grows back, right?

That’s what I keep telling myself.

the quest for a tall loaf

After one miserably failed attempt at whole wheat bread today (I forgot to put all the flour in – so it was… less than desirable), I am trying again, but I think I miscounted and still put not-quite-enough flour in the dough. I think that I am overly cautious trying not to use too much flour that I use too little. And I am certain I don’t knead the bread enough.

If tomorrow weren’t Sunday (and if I had more milk) I would try again. Perhaps I will a try a recipe that just uses water – just to see if I can ever get the dang thing to be tall enough.

One of my concerns is that perhaps there isn’t enough dough to fill the pans (i.e., my pans are too big) But I use the same size pans my sister used, and she got hers to rise tall…

I also read that letting the bread rest between mixing it up and kneading it (autolyse?) can help it rise tall, so next time I am going to try that.

I’m feeling a little bit like a failure today… two ruined batches of bread (when I am making the bread in the first place to stretch our grocery budget this month), I lost my patience with the kiddos, it’s 7:36pm and they still aren’t in bed, I lost my patience with my sweet husband, I haven’t prepared my Relief Society lesson for tomorrow, and I didn’t get a load of laundry started this morning. In order to accomplish everything I would like to accomplish tonight, it will require me staying up too late (which I hate doing on Saturday night – I like to be well rested on Sunday! Plus, the choir is singing tomorrow, so that means choir practice before church…)

On a brighter note, we took back our cable box today (no more TV! Yay!) and set up our internet and home phone service with Qwest to start in a few weeks (saving us a LOT of money). So that’s good, right?

I also wanted to blog more, but my blogging marathon will have to wait until tomorrow (unless I decide to sleep tomorrow because I stay up too late tonight…)

 

Some days are just bad days. Today is a bad day.

Finally, It Works

If you’re like me, you like to budget.

But if you have a husband like mine, you know that the budget thing has to be really simple, fool-proof, and funds have to be protected. I’m not saying Russ is a frivolous spender, because he isn’t, but his idea of budgeting is “Do we have  money in our account? Okay, then let’s go spend it.”

We have tried every method of budgeting (it seems like it, anyway!).

Don’t believe me? Since we got married we’ve tried:

- a paper spreadsheet printed out each month
- this book, Debt-Free on Any Income (which came with a CD rom of lots of fun spreadsheets)
- The Church’s “One for the Money” book complete with budgets, get-out-of-debt plans, etc.
- Quicken (too complicated, and too many features)
- Budget Map (actually a really cool idea, but it wouldn’t work with one checking account and one spouse who would never write anything down…)
- mvelopes (an online envelope system that really worked for a while, but cost us every month… how’s that for counter productive!)
- Budget (a program from Snowmint CS, which was actually pretty useful, too, but not as “automated” as mvelopes, and since we were moving from mvelopes to this program, it was just too much work).
- Dave Ramsey’s “Deluxe Envelope System” – which would be great if Russ was doing the shopping, but I spend cash way too easily (easier than using my debit card, if you can believe it)

All the trial and error was actually pretty good because we discovered a lot of things about our money habits:
1.) We don’t like to keep track of every single tiny purchase. We are not normally frivolous spenders, we have a pretty good grasp of “need” and “want” and we don’t spend emotionally. We get what we need, and leave what we don’t. We eat whole, natural foods, so we don’t buy crap at the grocery store. We don’t like keeping pieces of paper around, and we don’t like writing stuff down.
2.) I am not good at using cash. Russ is really great at it. If I give him a bunch of cash, he’ll end up with almost as much cash a month later. He seriously doesn’t spend cash. If you give me cash, I’ll spend it all at once instead of rationing. And then I don’t have any more cash, and I can’t get the things we need, because I spent all my cash. I guess I feel like because cash is “untraceable” I can spend it on whatever, instead of on things we actually need.
3.) We like to have all our bills automated.
4.) When we have less money, we spend less money.
5.) I like to plan out every dollar for the month, but Russ likes to have a large “slush” fund (which he usually does not use).

So, after trying every different budgeting method under the sun, we’ve finally found a process we think will work for us:

First, we use my own budget I made up (based off the mvelopes budget that I absolute LOVED). It is just a spreadsheet, but it is crazy powerful and really helps us give every dollar a name. It checks our sums in three different ways, so we can always tell how we need to move things around to make the budget work. In one document, we can do our monthly budget, and budget each paycheck. It’s pretty awesome, if you ask me.

Second, we added a feature to our budget (which isn’t in the one I posted publicly, but I will update it soon) – we’ve color coded the line items. Bills that need to be paid are highlighted in yellow. Bills that have been paid or are pending in the checking account are marked with green. Once the money clears our checking account, we change the color to red. That way, if we’re wondering why there is extra money in our account, we can usually just check the budget. This is a great recording system for us.

Third, we recently added yet another feature to the budget because when our discretionary spending is mixed in the same checking account as our “bills” money, we sometimes end up spending that money.

Remember Russ’ method of “budgeting”? If there’s money in the account, we can spend it! So we decided to open a second checking account for our “discretionary” spending. This is all spending that isn’t programmed, automatic, or regular. Grocery money goes in this account, gas money, spending money, etc (it all goes in there because half the time we are “stealing” money from one category to use in another, which doesn’t bug us, as long as we eat and Russ can get to work). The only drawback to this was that we would probably spend all the money in the account right up front (remember me with the cash? I’m not that much better with the debit card). So instead of putting all the money from each paycheck in there, we set the budget spreadsheet up to calculate all the “descretionary” items each month, and divide that by 30, then multiply by 7, and that is how much money we transfer to the second checking account each Monday for four Mondays.

We’re still working out the math, but the idea behind this system is that we create “artificial scarcity” with our money. We “have” less money, so we spend less money.

It has taken five long years, but we finally have a budget system that is going to work for our family. And it doesn’t involve me spending several hours a day recording bank transactions, balancing checkbooks, and checking online accounts. It should be seamless and only require us to address the budget twice a month before pay day, and any time we need an emergency budget meeting.

Which means more time to hang out with the babies, blog, and live life.

That’s what I’m talking about.

Lightbulbs

I had an epiphany the other day. Let me catch you up on a few things, first.

Things have been crazy here. Sometimes good crazy, sometimes bad crazy. I feel like I’m always writing that on here – my life is crazy. Well, it is.

And I have been struggling a lot with feeling like I am doing a much as possible in the day. Most days I get to bedtime and I wonder where on earth the day went, and how on earth I didn’t get the laundry done, the dishes washed, and the bathrooms spotless. Because I stay home all day, and don’t have any obligations outside of my family, I feel like I should be able to be super mom at home – super spotless house, great meals cooked, clean laundry folded and put away, not to mention spending hours playing with my children, reading to them, and going places with them.

Well, here was my epiphany. There are not that many hours in a day, and when most of them are punctuated by unexpected messes, potty accidents, and children fighting, they seem to get used up a lot faster.

I have always tried not to have too high of expectations for a clean house and home cooked meals because two small, very high energy children (if you know my kids, you know what I mean – touch touch touch touch, fight fight fight, talk talk talk talk talk, sound effects sound effects sound effects… it never ends. Seriously) make doing all that very hard, and I don’t want to spend my children’s entire childhood cleaning the house. I’d rather play with them, and the other stuff can wait. Sure I can teach them to clean with me – but honestly, that doesn’t really get stuff any cleaner because they make a bigger mess than they fix. But like I said, I’d rather do things with them and have a little bit dirty house because “babies don’t keep.”

  Back to my epiphany (that was only part of it) – I went though in my head what my day looks like. I wake up around 5:30 or 6 (on good mornings – i.e., when Russ hasn’t kept me up all night watching TV shows or movies or talking), so that I can have a few hours (usually only one) to myself to prepare for the day – I usually spend this time reading the scriptures and writing on my scripture blog. Then the kids wake up and I feed them breakfast around 7:30 or 8. By 9am I have cleaned up breakfast, and have the kids dressed and ready for the day. Then around noon, we eat lunch, then we read together and I put the kids down for naps around 2pm. By the time Joseline wakes up (and Vincente, if he even napped) we eat dinner, and then it’s time for bed. So, If you look at things this way, the only time I have to do much of anything is in the morning, for about 3 hours. Sure I have nap time, and I do a few things, but I don’t really like to spend my kids’ down time doing things I could do when they are awake, like cleaning. I prefer to do things I can’t do when they are awake – like reading a good book, writing, or taking a quick nap, myself.

Sure, things will change as my children (and our family) grow, but right now this is how it is, and I think that if I can keep realistic expectations – that is, be okay with only having essentially 3 hours in the day to get things done, then I should be fine. In fact, the reason I’ve been doing so much better the past several days is because I have been okay with it, and I’ve been planning my days better to take advantage of those few hours. And I’m much happier.

When I am feeling down for not keeping the house spotless, my dad reminds me of this poem:

Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing, make up the bed,
Sew on a button and butter the bread.

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I’ve grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,
Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo

The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo
Look! Aren’t his eyes the most wonderful hue?
Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo.

The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.

(“Song for a Fifth Child” by Ruth Hulbert Hamilton, Ladies’ Home Journal October 1985)

I Love to See the Temple

This year the Primary is singing “I Love to See the Temple” for the Sacrament Meeting Program.

Vincente didn’t like to sit with his class in Primary. He much preferred to sit with me at the piano (I am the Primary pianist in our Portuguese ward). So one Sunday as I was playing “I Love to See the Temple,” I looked down to see Vincente taking everything out of my bags and stacking things up. I asked him what on earth he was doing.

“I’m building a temple!”

Look – Lightening McQueen is even going to the temple!

A Little Bit of Everything

I haven’t dropped off the face of the planet – I promise. There’s proof over here and over there. Okay, not super recent proof, but proof enough.

You know how when you’re climbing a mountain, you can’t really tell how far it is to the top when you’re actually on the mountain, doing the climbing. Well, that’s kind of how I feel right now.

Although, the nice thing about climbing a mountain is that you can usually stop for a breathtaking view every now and then, making the uncertainty of when you’ll reach the top somewhat bearable.

The view of the Arkansas River on the way up Pinnacle Mountain in Arkansas. I had a picture of the fog coming off the river from a different hike, but I couldn’t find it – so this will have to do. Not quite breathtaking, but beautiful nonetheless.

So we’re still working through some things (I say working through because we really are working through them. Things are getting better, not worse, so that’s good) but in the meantime, we’re enjoying the view from the side of the mountain.

Remember how much we missed this face? (photo courtesy of Vincente, of course) He came back from Brazil on May 15 with lots of goodies for us! Mostly books, but some flip flops for me (I basically live in flip flops – especially in the summer, but I’ve been known to wear them even in the dead of winter – as long as the ground is dry), and a berimbau, from which the airline took the tall stick – because they were going to charge him $100 to check it, and they wouldn’t let it in the cabin. Bummer. But Russ managed to take it apart and brought home everything except the long stick, which are not really a rare commodity around here.

Thanks to a lot of thiswith a few days of this in between, our yard has been growing a lot of these and a bunch of these

(disclaimer – the four previous pictures are not mine – I found them on Google images. I’m pretty sure as long as none of you say anything, no one will sue me. Right?)
Needless to say, whenever the heavens aren’t pouring their liquid gold upon us, we’ve been outside working the yard. I’ve got to put some before and afters of the little patch of our backyard where we laid some seed. Thanks to all the rain, it looks thick and luscious without us even running the sprinklers! And I wish I had taken pictures of our tulips. We ended up with mostly orangy-red ones, but a few yellows, purples, purple-whites, and a few pinks showed up later in the season. We’ve got what appear to be some dark purple irises coming up, too, and an unknown bush that I think is a hibiscus, but not entirely sure. And a lot of decorative grass. I mean… a LOT. If anyone wants some, please let me know, because I’m going to tear it all out.

Tonight we’ll be building the vegetable garden, and hopefully planting tomorrow. I know it’s kind of late in the season, but all this rain has made it nearly impossible to plant anything.

Russ mowed the lawn a little over a week ago, and it looks like a jungle again already! I’m not complaining – we’ve had to do a lot of repair work on the landscaping of this house. Remember what our yard used to look liked? (if you don’t, there are pictures in this post) I’ll post an update on the yard later, probably after we get the garden up.

We’ve been enjoying visits from friends – especially this friend who now lives very close to us, and who we adore very much!

We’ve been working out and running, and in general just plugging on with life.

Oh, and enjoying some really yummy watermelon ($.17/lb at Sunflower Market a few weeks ago! The absolute best! PS, Vincente took this picture)

So I can’t really complain about much, but I can’t wait to be at the top of the mountain. I’m sure the view will be amazing.

I’ll post a picture of the view from the top when we get there. And we will get there.

wisdom

Remember this recent post, and this one?

Sometimes I think Heavenly Father likes to build us up before He allows us to experience trials. That sounds kind of mean – seriously, it’s almost like a really mean joke. “Here are a bunch of blessings. And now I will try you beyond anything you’ve ever experienced.” I’m not sure if He is teaching me to appreciate my blessings more, or if He just wants to give me extra strength to get through the hard times.

But I know that Heavenly Father just knows so much more than we do. Our little human minds can’t even begin to fathom the duties and blessings He has in store for us.

In the talk from Elder Cook that I quoted in my last post, he goes on to recite this passage from Doctrine and Covenants – when Joseph Smith is in jail and cries to God, and Heavenly Father, in His infinite wisdom and mercy comforts Joseph with this powerful promise:

“My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;

“And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high.”

Recently in our family scripture study we have been reading 2 Nephi 2, where Lehi teaches his family about opposition and gives an excellent logical argument for God existing. Elder Cook teaches us (in that same talk) that an essential gospel doctrine “is that there must be opposition in all things for righteousness to be brought to pass.”

Well, we’re definitely experiencing that.

“We know from the scriptures that some trials are for our good and are suited for our own personal development. We also know that the rain falls on the just and the unjust. It is also true that every cloud we see doesn’t result in rain.”

Right now, what we are experiencing is a very very ominous looking cloud. It hasn’t rained (yet) and we hope that it won’t, and fortunately, this cloud is the kind that we can blow away if we have enough faith and work hard enough.

But the best part about having trials?

“Regardless of the challenges, trials, and hardships we endure, the reassuring doctrine of the Atonement wrought by Jesus Christ includes Alma’s teaching that the Savior would take upon Him our infirmities and ‘succor his people according to their infirmities.’”

Being able to partake of the atoning sacrifice of our Savior, and feel its power in our lives, and feel the Savior succoring us, “according to [our] infirmities.”

And how sweet that feeling is.

Monday Musings - Good Reads and Motherhood

Being a mother is all it’s cracked up to be. And more. I love it. And my attitude about motherhood is improving every minute. It’s a lot like marriage. When you are young (and not married) you have this sort of “fairy tale” impression of marriage. You’ll find the love of your life, making covenants in the temple, and the rest of your life will be utter bliss.

And then you get married and realize that marriage is a whole lot of work, patience, love, and getting to know each other. Especially getting to know yourself.

Sometimes the same thing happens with motherhood.

As a young girl, you look at the moms of small kids and think how awesome it must be to have those precious children and raise them all your own and do their hair and dress them up and take them to ball games and out for ice cream.

And then you have kids. And you realize that motherhood is a whole lot of work, patience, love, and getting to know each other. Especially getting to know yourself.

For a little while you may say to yourself “What on earth was I thinking?” among other things that you may or may not admit to yourself. Like “I wish I could just give them back!” or “I’m never having another kid.” or “I wish I could just start over.”

But none of that is constructive, and you did at one time want to be a mother, which I don’t think was just naïveté. I think the Spirit does a really good job of planting the seed of motherhood in every young girl. We want to be mothers. We crave motherhood, even if we don’t know exactly what it is like. But that is what this mortal experience is all about – experiencing new things and doing things that we have never done before.

So instead of thinking all those crazy thoughts that we deny ever even having, we should be praying for the Lord to give us strength to do things that we don’t think are possible – like keeping our cool when our kids pee on the carpet, draw on the walls, and throw their spaghetti (sauce and all) on our brand new shirt and favorite pants.

It helps to remind ourselves that they are just little people, too, who are here in this mortal life for the same reasons we are – to experience new things and do things that they have never done before. And it’s our job to help them in that journey, because even though our journey isn’t done yet, we have experienced more of it than they have, and we are (hopefully) able to guide them through it all and help them make sense of the whole thing.

I have been reading a lot about motherhood lately (it is, after all, my full time job, and I want to be the best employee I can be).

I wrote my thoughts about the things I read over on my scripture study blog. At the bottom of the post I listed the articles I’ve been reading. I highly recommend the one about Quality and Quantity Time by Beppie Harrison.

I am so grateful for the opportunity to be a mother, and I am glad that I had such a strong desire to be a mother when I was young and I’m even more grateful that I am learning to love being a mother. It is a lot more work than I ever thought it would be (it’s emotional, physical, spiritual, and temporal work) …

… but it is the best work I have ever done.

Monday Musings - His Plan

 
I have been having a hard time lately trying to make sense of some spiritual promptings that I have had. I won’t disclose the specifics, but I have been having strong promptings about a certain thing. However, when I think about our life right now and the situation we are in, the prompting doesn’t seem to fit, or make sense.

So I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how to deal with promptings. Obviously there are some promptings that you just take and run with it (like, “Call so-and-so.” Obviously, that’s probably a right now kind of prompting). But then there are more general impressions you receive, like “Have more kids.” and “Get a job.” Or something like that.

I am a believer of the principle explained in Doctrine & Covenants Section 9

Behold, you have not understood; you have supposed that I would give it unto you, when you took no thought save it was to ask me.

But, behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right.

So when I receive one of those “general” impressions, I try to study it out and then take my “interpretation” to the Lord for approval. Sometimes I feel that burning in my bosom, and other times, I get the stupor of thought.

I also have to be very careful that I don’t inject “my” will into the impression. I have to work really hard at making sure that my will is in line with God’s will (and it isn’t all the time… which is frustrating).

The good news is that I think I have figured out those “general” impressions that the Lord has been giving me.

I’ll let you know how it works out.

Caution: Bumpy Road

This is what our life has been like the last week – a very, very bumpy road. Thank goodness it’s almost over, and everything has worked out.

I’m always amazed at our Father’s ability to make the hard times not seem so bad.

Among the issues of the week was Russ’ car’s alternator dying. He got it to start at work in Lehi and drove it all the way down Redwood Rd and it died waiting for the light to cross Bangerter highway. So I gave him a little nudge with the van (which scratched the paint on my beautiful bumper!!) and he made it across the intersection. Then I put a cloth shopping bag on my bumper and gave him another little push into a bank parking lot where we jumped his car. It made it a little farther down the road, but then he had to stop at a red light and it died again. So we pulled it over and charged his battery again a little with my car. Rinse and repeat, basically. This time, he made it to the left turn lane right in front of AutoZone and was able to push the car into the parking lot. We had originally thought it was the battery (which apparently in a Dodge Stratus you have to get at through the wheel well -  we will never ever own one of these cars again… ever) but at this point we were pretty sure it was the alternator. Sure enough – the battery was fine, but it needed a new alternator. Our favorite shop is all the way in West Valley, and at this point we were in South Jordan (10400 S 1500 W ish). The shop is at 5600 W and 3100 S. Oh yeah, and it’s been raining pretty much this whole time). So we buy a tow cable at AutoZone and hook up Russ’ car to the van and tow it all the way across the western Salt Lake Valley. It was an adventure. I was actually really enjoying myself. I had prayed the whole time that we would make it safely to the auto parts store (because I figured we just needed a new battery, and the guys at AutoZone could help us figure out how to replace the battery).

Well, we made it safely, and sure enough it needed a new alternator, and it’s all fixed and ready to go for us (we seriously really love this shop – they do a great job, warranty their parts and labor, and you don’t have to pay out your nose for it! and they are honest, and helpful, and fast – we left the car there last night with the key in the drop box, and by the time I called at 9am, they had looked at the car and were finding out which part to order so they could call and give me a quote. Then they called around noon to tell me it was done and ready for pickup).’

So we’re doing well, and have experienced the fact that Heavenly Father doesn’t always make our life peachy, even when we have faith – but he does help us through our trials, whether by actually making them lighter, or by making them seem lighter.

“I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”

Philippians 4:13

Segue O Profeta

 
Last week for Family Home Evening, we made a matching game with the pictures of the prophets and apostles. I just printed the pictures from the November 2010 Ensign on cardstock (two copies) and then cut them out to make pairs of each prophet/apostle’s face. I had to resize the pictures of the First Presidency, but that was pretty easy.

Both of our kids love matching games, and this one was no different. At first it was a little hard for them, because there were 15 pairs (30 cards) and they are used to 8-10 cards. But Vincente still did really well, and Joseline even found a few matches on her own! Next time we will probably do them in smaller sets – 4-5 pictures at a time.

As we flipped over the pictures, we practiced saying the names of the person pictured. This was good for Russ and myself as well… I’m ashamed to say we’re not as good as we thought we were at remembering all the names. The leadership has changed so much since I was a teen! I still remember listening to Elder Maxwell and President Faust. It seems like it was just yesterday that they were speaking to us – but it’s been years, hasn’t it?

I hope that this will help our kids enjoy General Conference more when we watch it in a few weeks.

Monday Musings – He Will Come

Last night we watched The Testaments: Of One Fold and One Shepherd as a family. Complete with popcorn. It was the best Sunday movie night we’ve ever had.

As usual, I bawled during practically the entire movie.

I know the Savior came, taught, lived, died and was resurrected for us and I know that He will come again. I hope that when He does come I will be prepared to meet Him. I want to be like Helam in the movie (and many people I’m sure who were actually there) and live my entire life waiting, watching, and preparing for the coming of the Savior.

I can’t think of anything more wonderful than to finally see the Savior. All I can think about during that movie is how it will feel to see Him. How it will feel to be with the multitude who will fall at His feet and worship Him. I think it will be kind of like the feeling I get when I see Russ after some long military training that takes him away from me. Only times a million, because the coming of the Savior is much more significant. I know that I will cry and cry and cry and kiss His feet and hands and tell Him how happy I am that He is finally here.

Now I just need to live each day so that when He comes again I will be worthy to walk with Him.

Monday Musings – Follow the Prophet

On Sunday, October 3, 2010, President Boyd K. Packer, whom members of the church sustain to be a “prophet, seer and revelator” gave this talk.

As a prophet, President Packer’s responsibility is to call the world to repentance – much like Noah did in his day as he built the ark, like Lehi in Jerusalem, and like many other prophets in the past.

Unfortunately, as they did with Noah and Lehi, the world has rejected the words of the prophets, and have even gone so far as to petition him to withdraw his statements. This is not a new thing. It has happened again and again throughout history, and God’s word has always remained unchanged. As President Packer so bluntly put it:

...there are those today who not only tolerate but advocate voting to change laws that would legalize immorality, as if a vote would somehow alter the designs of God’s laws and nature...There are both moral and physical laws “irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world” that cannot be changed...To legalize that which is basically wrong or evil will not prevent the pain and penalties that will follow as surely as night follows day.

I respect everyone’s right to an opinion. But I also believe in God’s word, and I firmly believe in God’s prophets who deliver His word to us – especially in these latter days.

Satan is stirring up the hearts of men. A war is waging. “Who’s on the Lord’s side, who? Now is the time to show...” This particular battle hits really close to home for me. I have had to make some really difficult decisions about some people who are very dear to me. All I can think about is how to “love one another” while still being devoted to righteousness, and not “look upon sin with the least degree of allowance.” This article, a Q&A with Elder Oaks and a member of the 70, has been particularly helpful.

In response to the petition I mentioned earlier, the brethren had this to say:

Much of this was not new, but there were a lot of really great things said. A few of my favorites:

“As a church, our doctrinal position is clear: any sexual activity outside of marriage is wrong, and we define marriage as between a man and a woman.”

“None of us is limited by our feelings or inclinations. Ultimately, we are free to act for ourselves.”

“The Church distinguishes between feelings or inclinations on the one hand and behavior on the other. It’s not a sin to have feelings, only in yielding to temptation.”

I don’t believe that people are homosexuals or “gay.” I know that people will disagree, and that is fine. I believe that people have same-gender, or homosexual, attractions, and that they can sometimes be very strong. But they are still just children of God to me. If they choose to participate in homosexual behaviors, or live a homosexual lifestyle, then that is what they are doing. I believe that there is nothing fundamentally different between someone who struggles with same-gender attraction, and the rest of God’s children who struggle with something else. We are all children of God experiencing trials and struggles on this earth with Satan tempting us and trying us. We inhabit imperfect bodies with imperfect emotions and chemical make ups. We all face trials. (read more about that here)

God made man and woman. He created them specifically different – to fulfill different purposes. From The Family: A Proclamation to the World, “Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.”

As I write this, I realize that I am not writing it to an audience of people who don’t believe in Christ and the atonement. I am writing it in hopes that someone who feels unsure about the word of God on this issue can maybe read my testimony and perhaps feel the spirit and have a little better understanding of God’s word.

It is not easy to stay true to the Savior. Especially in today’s social and political climate. There is so much of the Adversary’s influence in our societies that we can be easily confused by the arguments out there.

Sometimes I get very discouraged because the world is getting more and more wicked – good is called evil, and evil is called good. But I know that there is hope and happiness available to those who live the gospel – for those who earnestly call on God in the name of His Savior, Jesus Christ and ask for a confirmation of that which is true. The Spirit will guide us. I know that because I beg the Lord for His Spirit to be with me as I raise my children and feel like I don’t know anything.

If there is one thing I know is absolutely true, it is that God lives and loves us and has given us living prophets on the earth to help guide us when we become confused about how to live in the world and not be of the world.

And I hope and pray that you will try to get that testimony for yourself.

Recommended reading:

Cleansing the Inner Vessel by President Boyd K. Packer
The Q&A with Elder Oaks and Elder Wickman
The Response to the HRC Petition
Many of These Articles
This Proclamation
Another Good Article by Elder Oaks

When Your Gut Screams ‘No!’ but Your Mouth Says ‘Of course, I’d be glad to.’

My mom had a sign on her mirror for a long time that said this: Stress is when your gut screams ‘No!’ but your mouth says ‘Of course, I’d be glad to.’

I feel like this is saying “We create our own stress by not being okay with our limits.” Sure, we can push and test our limits sometimes – and our limits should certainly always be expanding - but if we’re not ready to expand our limits (and we need to be ready) we should just do what we can do, and don’t do what we can’t do.

For example, we can’t redeem ourselves, but we can do a lot of righteous things, and we can believe in Christ and let Him redeem us. We do what we can do, and Christ does what we can’t do.

I know this is doctrine, because it says so in 2 Nephi:

“...for we know that it is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do.”

This week has been really long for me. Most of you probably know that. If you don’t, read my previous post. Then you’ll know part of what I mean.

On top of that, for some reason beyond my understanding, I agreed to watch my twin nieces the same week I was bringing home two 8 week old puppies. Of course, I wasn’t anticipating my brother to pass away the day after I brought the puppies home. And I wasn’t expecting to switch my flight and get on an airplane in all of 24 hours. And I certainly wasn’t expecting to be as depressed as I have been.

Even though when I found out I would be alone watching the twins, my two kids, and the new puppies, and my gut screamed “No!” a little bit, I thought that was just my own selfishness, and that I should just work through that and do it anyway – after all, my help was needed, and I was willing to give (although I have recently learned that willing ≠ able). So I gave. But I really didn’t have anything to give.

So this week has been long. I have been stressed. And it’s not over yet. I can’t see the blue skies yet, even though I know they are there.

And next time my gut screams “No!” I’m going to take its advice.

 

PS – things are actually going pretty well with the puppies.

And the kids, for that matter.

I can’t wait to have our fenced backyard, though :-6

My Bags are Packed

Ross Richard Werner passed away Saturday, August 14, 2010 in the presence of his wife Jane, father, sister Christy, brother-in-law Adam, and other friends and family. His passing leaves a very large hole in my heart, and I am aching with the desire to say more, do more, and be more to and for him.

I am actually writing this on Friday, August 6, 2010.

Two weeks before it will post.

I’m not ready to face what is coming, and so... like anyone else, I’m denying it will happen, and pretending it won’t, until it’s too late.

Yesterday we talked with my oldest brother, Ross, on Skype.

He beat brain tumors and swelling from a fall, and is getting stronger every day in rehab.

Meanwhile, the tumors in his chest are growing and growing.

The doctors have given him a timeline – weeks, maybe a few months.

Probably more like weeks.

They gave him a choice to do some more chemo, but it won’t help, they say.

 

So, I’ve booked a flight to Seattle to see my brother. Probably for the last time.

I would like to tell you my story about my brother.

 

Ross

from my perspective

Growing up, I loved my brother. I wanted to be just like him. I wanted his stuff. I wanted his friends. I wanted his talents (he is so talented!). In fact, when I started junior high – I wanted to even dress just like him. Big baggy pants and big baggy shirts (what was I thinking? I got a little smarter the next year, and realized that I could be like my brother without sacrificing fashion).

Ross played the violin. Really well. I wanted to play the violin just as well as him. So I practiced every day until my fingers were raw. I even tried to get into the BYU Music School. No one made me love music more than Ross (except maybe my mother – but he got it from her, too). Ross played the piano. Really well. I wanted to play the piano really well, too. I didn’t practice all the time. Piano and I have never really gotten along, as far as practicing-to-get-good goes. But I do enjoy playing. Then Ross learned how to play the guitar and got good. I wanted to play the guitar, too. So I practiced every now and then.

Ross was great with computers. He even taught me about RAM once when I was in high school, or maybe college. He showed me how to install new RAM in a computer. I developed a new level of admiration for my brother. He is so smart! My interest in computers at all is because of Ross. I wanted to learn some programming languages. I wanted to learn how to build my own websites. I wanted to learn how to fix computers and mess with them and stuff. I even wanted to learn how to use Linux (which I did, sort of, for a while... but then I got lazy... er, had kids).

Ross loves to read. He loves music. He loves to learn. He loves to play games (my love of European board games? From Ross). My love of reading? Ross. My intense desire to Google anything that I don’t understand? Ross.

Probably the only things Ross didn’t inspire me to do is read my scriptures, pray regularly, run, and eat healthy. That was Janie (his wife).

I hold him on this pedestal (and Janie goes right beside him on it). And I don’t think he knows that. Really, all I want to be I want to be because of my brother. Because he is such a great example of hard work, honesty, learning, knowledge, having fun, and being a good person.

I plan on telling him all these things (and more) when I get to see him in person.

I hope it doesn’t sound too cliché – making amends with him as he’s dying. I would have said these things before, but I never knew the right words to say, and I worried that he wouldn’t want to hear it. But now it doesn’t matter if he wants to hear it. There are no bridges to be burned. There won’t be another chance. If I want him to hear it, I need to tell him now.

That is my story about how much I love my brother.

How to Read a Blog

Okay, so once upon a time, I had a blogroll on the side of my blog (actually, I still have it… it just serves a different purpose now). I got kind of sick of clicking on each individual blog and reading new posts on each separate webpage.

Sure, Chrome makes pretty fast work of it, but still… I’m not THAT excited to go to everyone’s blog (except to comment – and I still try to comment on folk’s blogs! I’ve been slacking lately, sorries).

Well, then I discovered a RSS feed and what is known as a “RSS Feed Reader.” I happen to use Google reader just because I don’t like having to log in to a bunch of different accounts, so I tend to keep everything kind of centralized with Google. It’s just more convenient. Also, when I was “adding” the blogs I read, I could add most of them by clicking a button that said something to the effect of “add blogs I’m following.” Which was fantabulous, since I was following most of the public blogs on my “blogroll.”

So now my blogroll’s role (ha ha) is mainly to show my readers what other blogs I’m reading. If the blog has a button, I’ve listed the button. If not, it just gets a linky.

So there you have it. That, my friends, is how blog reading should be done. I especially like using the iPhone layout of Google reader. That is my favorite, because it’s super clean – you know, nothing extra, just the posts. You can even add feeds right there.

Now, go set yourself up with an RSS Feed Reader and start enjoying your friends’ blogs! (and all those other blogs you know you spend your time reading! ;) )

A Note: Amy (in the comments) reminded me that private blogs do not have an RSS feed. You can solve that problem by creating a "front page" for your blog - see mine here.

Basically here is how you create a "front page" for your private blog:

1.) Create a blog for your front page. If the name of your private blog is "http://myblog.blogspot.com" your frontpage could be named something like "http://myblogfrontpage.blogspot.com" but it doesn't really matter.

2.) Every time you post a new post on your private blog, make a post on your "front page" that links to the post on your private blog. For an example - say you wrote a post entitled "My Blog Post" on your private blog. On your public "front page" you could make a post entitled the same "My Blog Post" where the body of the post is "Here is a link to my most recent post _(insert link here) " (you can be more creative with your front page posts - you can see examples of mine here).

3.) It's most convenient if you use a blog writer (I use Windows Live Writer - my absolute favorite, and I've tried a few of them - the free ones, anyway) because, at least with Live Writer, you can post the same post to several different blogs, so I just post it to my private blog, then switch it over to my public blog and take out all the text and pictures (sometimes I leave the first line of the blog post, if it doesn't have anything too personal and if it describes the post adequately). You could probably set this up pretty easily using email, too (maybe I'll address that in another post someday).

So there you have it - how to make your own feed for a public blog. So if you have a friend who only has a private blog, tell them how to make a front page so you can get a feed!! I hope any of my readers is satisfied with me providing a public feed (I also upload my feed to Facebook, and you could probably upload it to twitter, too, if you're a twittterer)

Butcher Paper

Every home with small children should have a large roll of butcher paper. Here’s what we did today with a long piece of butcher paper, some markers and crayons, and leftover stickers from our yard sale.

After a while, Vincente found all sorts of things to trace – his alligator, a fire truck... me.

I recently made a commitment to play with my kids more. To just enjoy them. Childhood only lasts so long, and before I know it I won’t have anyone bugging me to come play dragons and dress up and read them books. Plus, I can learn a lot from my kids. And talk about stress relief! I’m learning how to just let go of everything and enjoy the moment, instead of stressing out about the laundry, or the dishes, or my scripture study (not that cleanliness and reading the scriptures are bad things – but everything has a time and a place, and if I want to be able to study the scriptures, I am going to have to sacrifice something other than my children’s playtime to have that time to study the scriptures. There are a lot more hours in the day, it seems, when we get rid of the useless stuff).

There will definitely be more days like today in our future. (and guess what? I still read my scriptures and got the laundry done and mopped the floor. Funny how that happens, eh?)

Because She is a Mother

I have been doing a lot of soul searching lately, and I have had the great blessing of receiving personal revelation. It has been a sweet and tender thing for me.

In doing a little of my soul searching, I went to the Church’s website where I happened upon this MormonMessages video.

I bawled through the whole video, of course (as I am prone to do while watching Mormon Messages videos).

But then I looked up Elder Holland’s talk on the Church’s website.

I felt as if Heavenly Father was confirming the spiritual promptings I had previously received, and was preparing me for further inspiration that came later that night.

I love the things that I have learned. I love having that relationship with my Father in Heaven. I want to do His will, and I know that He reveal it to me as I become able to understand and act upon it, and as I prepare myself to receive it.

Motherhood is such a sweet gift.

I don’t need to feel pressure to teach my children the things the world pressures me to teach them. Elder Holland read parts of a letter he received from a young mother who said that “...she felt like the world expected her to teach her children reading, writing, interior design, Latin, calculus, and the internet – all before the baby said something terribly ordinary, like ‘goo goo.’”

I have often felt a lot like that. I feel a lot of pressure to teach my children these things. But then, when I sit back and reflect, I feel a greater need to teach them the gospel.

“...we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins.” (2 Nephi 25:26)

“Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children.” (The Family: A Proclamation to the World)

The Proclamation to the World talks about successful families being established on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.

I find it interesting that the Lord doesn’t include “learning” as one of those principles – obviously he wants us to learn, as He has instructed us to “seek learning, even by study and also by faith.” (Doctrine & Covenants 88:118) But when he talks about “successful families,” the emphasis is on teaching Christ-like attributes, not teaching our children their ABC’s.

I never cease to be amazed at the Lord’s mindfulness of me. When I actually come unto Him and humble myself and really ask for revelation, He gives it to me! Just for asking. I feel really blessed, and I kick myself for not preparing more fervently for that revelation. I could have done more, and done better a lot earlier in life if I had just kept in close contact with the Father. He has so much to teach me, if I’ll just open up and listen.

The House - for real this time

Well, here is the house that we have put an offer on.

This is a site with a few pictures.

Hopefully we'll hear in a few months about the property. Ha ha, I say months because it is a short sale, and there is a lowball offer in the bank right now, so we have to wait for the bank to say no to that offer, and then say yes to our offer. Which is actually perfect for us, because we don't want to close on a house until at the earliest mid-September. We'll probably end up closing at the end of September or the beginning of October. Which is great, since that's when we'll be able to move in anyway. The home is perfectly move-in ready. The yard needs some work since it's been vacant for a while, but that's going to be more fun than work! As you my know from my garden blog, I love to dig in the dirt, and plant stuff. The whole house has new paint and new carpet. The only appliance we'll have to buy is a fridge (KSL, here we come!).

Just in case, we put a few offers on other short sales as well, but we won't even consider those homes until this house gets sold to someone else.

My friend, Trisha, told me that I would just know it when I found "the house" - but after walking into house after house after house (probably 50+ homes in 4 days), and really liking some of them, I kept thinking to myself, "Maybe that's how it works for her, but maybe I won't ever have that feeling."

Then I walked into this house in West Jordan and I just got that feeling - "This house." That was it. Before I even saw anything in the house. Then I started walking around, and I kept feeling it! "This house. Yes, this house." In fact, after I saw this house, we still had three or four homes on our list, and I had absolutely no desire to see any of them. And when we walked in to each of the other homes, we simply walked back out, because my feeling about this house was still so strong!

So, either we're supposed to live in this house, or we're supposed to learn a really hard lesson by not living in this house...

I'm hoping it's the former.

Food Safety

I wrote a little blurb over on my healthy living blog about food safety. Sparked by the yucky Capri Sun mold issue on Facebook. Yuck mold.