A Rite of Passage

A few weeks before Christmas I was working on several Christmas projects downstairs in the basement. That means my sewing machine, countless buttons, spools of ribbons, yarn, rick rack and the like were laying out in the open on my sewing table.

I’m pretty sure we were getting ready for dinner (it was in the evening) and I thought “I should probably put away my sewing stuff downstairs.” But we were busy, so I didn’t. Later, it was awful quiet downstairs, so I headed down to check on the kids.

Bags of buttons had been opened and strewn about the room, balls of yarn had been cut into tiny pieces. The sewing machine was off, but there were pieces of felt and rick rack shoved in the foot under the needle. I took a deep breath, tried not to freak out, and sent the kids upstairs so that I could clean up.

As I was picking up pieces of yarn and moving sheets of felt off the ground I saw it.

Clumps of precious, blonde, wispy, Joseline baby hair.

“Nooooo!!!”

I grabbed the hair and ran upstairs to assess the damage (which I hadn’t noticed before – probably due to the panic I had been experiencing).

At first I only noticed her pony tail (she pretty much cut the pony tail right off). It was only later after brushing out her hair that I found that she had scalped herself in the front.

A friend of mine had a similar experience and said she took her daughter to one of those cheap cut places to fix it, and they made it worse. Not wanting to make things any worse (could they even get worse?) we went straight to Cookie Cutters in South Jordan the next morning and begged them to repair the damage as much as they could.

They couldn’t do a whole lot for the bangs (we just stuck with headbands for a while), but the stories they told of kids who had done worse made me feel worlds better.

Everyone who hears about her cutting her hair has the same things to tell me, “Every kid does it at least once.” “Now she’s officially a little girl.”

Or they tell me their horror stories.

Which really do make me feel better.

At least she didn’t take the clippers down the middle of her head.

Hair grows back, right?

That’s what I keep telling myself.

Bowl Heads

Joseline is a daddy’s girl. No doubt about it. Doc gets kind of jealous sometimes. But that doesn’t stop all of them from having a good time.

He’s such a great dad – seriously, who else would pose with a bowl on his head. Gotta love a dad who loves his kids. These guys are peas in a pod.

A Mother Heart

I love these guys. So much.

I got stranded in Wyoming last night,
and I didn’t see these precious faces until this evening.
I just couldn’t get enough of them!
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There’s something really special about being a mother. Something that makes me love it.

You know what else I love?

Watching complete strangers being awesome parents.

Today at Kohls’ I walked by a young couple with a little one or two year old boy in the mother’s arms crying. The father got close to the little boy’s face, and in the sweetest voice said, “I know that’s really fun to play like that, but you can’t ___.”
(I think the blank was something about being in a crowded store and running away from mom and dad being dangerous – I was mostly out of earshot by the time he got to that part)

I just loved that the dad was so in tune with his kid – the kid did think that running around the busy store was fun! But he also needed to understand how dangerous it can be not to obey mom and dad, and not to stay near them. Overhearing that exchange in the store lit up my face. Seriously. I smiled for almost a minute afterwards. I see too many moms and dads dragging their kids around public places, snipping at them, saying mean things to their kids, or even spanking them in the middle of the store (sometimes I am guilty of this behavior – not so much the spanking part, but definitely being impatient with my kids in public places). The way this father spoke to his son was so sweet, so loving, so tender. I’m sure that little boy had no doubt in his mind that his daddy loves him and that all his daddy wanted was to keep his little boy safe.

What a great dad.

I’m married to a guy like that.

He’s a great dad.

Great dads make great kids.

That’s why my kids are fabulous.

I Love to See The Temple

On Sunday I found an 11am ward meeting and took the kids. In all of my careful packing I had completely spaced bringing any of our church stuff. No books, no crayons, nothing. I did have a few toys, so I brought them hoping we could get through sacrament meeting without too much trouble. Apparently that was too much to ask of my travel weary children. They fought and screamed so much I had just about decided to leave church altogether when a really nice sister from the ward caught me as I was getting the kids into the car. She introduced herself and asked if she could help. I was in tears I was so frustrated. She offered to sit outside in the grass with Vincente so I could go in an listen to the meeting. My tears changed to tears of gratitude. She was so sweet. She even got Vincente ready for Primary and helped me find the class. I can’t for the life of me remember her name. I should have written it down somewhere! I felt really loved by Heavenly Father that day. He basically sent me an angel.

After church we went back to the hotel and met up with Meg (Geoff had left already) to have lunch and then head to the temple in Littleton. I had been trying to think of things to do while we were traveling that would help us keep the Sabbath day holy. Church took a good 4 hours, and a trip to see the temple grounds would be another couple of hours, then we could watch a Church video and have dinner and the kids would be ready for bed! It was a perfect plan, and other than the slight hang up at Church (which ended up with a beautiful blessing) Sunday was a perfect day.

It was fun to take Megann to the temple. She didn’t know much about the temples, so before we left I told her a few things and showed her the Church temple website and some pictures of both the inside and outside of the temple. On the drive to the temple I got to talk to her a little more about the temple and share my testimony of the temple. I love going to the temple. Even just being on the grounds feels really special to me. It melts my heart to see my children eagerly looking out the window trying to see the angel Moroni at the top of the temple as we got closer to it. I love that they love the temple so much. It was fun to find a new temple to visit.

There was a family of little bunnies hopping around the temple grounds. The kids got a kick out of that. The bunnies weren’t nearly as fond of the kids as the kids were of the bunnies.

We took some pictures at the temple and then headed back to the hotel and watched The Testaments: Of One Fold and One Shepherd (a movie that always makes me cry and is highly recommended – you can buy it here).

It was actually one of the best Sundays ever.

Conversations with a 4 year old

Russ was laying with Vincente tonight at bedtime. Here’s how the conversation went:

Vincente: “Papai, you’re superly awesome.”
Papai: “You’re superly awesome, too.”
…
Papai: “Papai’s going to the other side of the world for a little bit.”
Vincente: “There’s lots of water over there so you can’t go over there.”
Papai: “Papai’s going to fly over the water in an airplane to some more land.”
Vincente: “Oh.”
(Joseline makes a ruckus)
Vincente: “Joseline’s really silly, huh?”
Papai: “Yeah, she’s like Mamãe.”
Vincente: “Yeah, Mamãe’s silly, but a little smart, too.”
Papai: “Like you.”
Vincente: “No. I’m a lot smart. I’m a lot of smart than you. I’m superly smart.”
Papai: “You are superly smart.” (trying to suppress the laughter)

Earlier Vincente and Joseline had been coloring in a Portuguese preschool workbook. Russ mentioned that Vincente doing the workbook pages must have boosted his confidence a little.

Ha. Just a little.

Lightbulbs

I had an epiphany the other day. Let me catch you up on a few things, first.

Things have been crazy here. Sometimes good crazy, sometimes bad crazy. I feel like I’m always writing that on here – my life is crazy. Well, it is.

And I have been struggling a lot with feeling like I am doing a much as possible in the day. Most days I get to bedtime and I wonder where on earth the day went, and how on earth I didn’t get the laundry done, the dishes washed, and the bathrooms spotless. Because I stay home all day, and don’t have any obligations outside of my family, I feel like I should be able to be super mom at home – super spotless house, great meals cooked, clean laundry folded and put away, not to mention spending hours playing with my children, reading to them, and going places with them.

Well, here was my epiphany. There are not that many hours in a day, and when most of them are punctuated by unexpected messes, potty accidents, and children fighting, they seem to get used up a lot faster.

I have always tried not to have too high of expectations for a clean house and home cooked meals because two small, very high energy children (if you know my kids, you know what I mean – touch touch touch touch, fight fight fight, talk talk talk talk talk, sound effects sound effects sound effects… it never ends. Seriously) make doing all that very hard, and I don’t want to spend my children’s entire childhood cleaning the house. I’d rather play with them, and the other stuff can wait. Sure I can teach them to clean with me – but honestly, that doesn’t really get stuff any cleaner because they make a bigger mess than they fix. But like I said, I’d rather do things with them and have a little bit dirty house because “babies don’t keep.”

  Back to my epiphany (that was only part of it) – I went though in my head what my day looks like. I wake up around 5:30 or 6 (on good mornings – i.e., when Russ hasn’t kept me up all night watching TV shows or movies or talking), so that I can have a few hours (usually only one) to myself to prepare for the day – I usually spend this time reading the scriptures and writing on my scripture blog. Then the kids wake up and I feed them breakfast around 7:30 or 8. By 9am I have cleaned up breakfast, and have the kids dressed and ready for the day. Then around noon, we eat lunch, then we read together and I put the kids down for naps around 2pm. By the time Joseline wakes up (and Vincente, if he even napped) we eat dinner, and then it’s time for bed. So, If you look at things this way, the only time I have to do much of anything is in the morning, for about 3 hours. Sure I have nap time, and I do a few things, but I don’t really like to spend my kids’ down time doing things I could do when they are awake, like cleaning. I prefer to do things I can’t do when they are awake – like reading a good book, writing, or taking a quick nap, myself.

Sure, things will change as my children (and our family) grow, but right now this is how it is, and I think that if I can keep realistic expectations – that is, be okay with only having essentially 3 hours in the day to get things done, then I should be fine. In fact, the reason I’ve been doing so much better the past several days is because I have been okay with it, and I’ve been planning my days better to take advantage of those few hours. And I’m much happier.

When I am feeling down for not keeping the house spotless, my dad reminds me of this poem:

Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing, make up the bed,
Sew on a button and butter the bread.

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I’ve grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,
Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo

The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo
Look! Aren’t his eyes the most wonderful hue?
Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo.

The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.

(“Song for a Fifth Child” by Ruth Hulbert Hamilton, Ladies’ Home Journal October 1985)

Captain Moroni and the Standard of Liberty

In preparation for Independence Day (and because Vince love swords and fighting and armies and war…. son of a solider? I think so) we talked about Captain Moroni for Family Home Evening a few weeks ago. We even made our own standard of liberty. 

We re-enacted the scene of Moroni tearing his cloak and fastening it to a pole and talked about why he did it, and why they fought.

Then we talked about the founders of our country, what they did, and why they fought. We recited the Declaration of Independence (well, this part: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness”) and talked about George Washington and what the American flag means, and how it is like the standard of liberty that Captain Moroni made. We hung our standard of liberty and an American flag on the wall for a little while (until the tape failed and they fell down).

Playing soldiers wouldn’t be complete without making helmets and having swords. Russ has a super cool sword he got for Christmas when we were first married, and Vincente has his little foam sword Grandpa Victor got for him last summer (because Vince kept trying to use the knife sharpener for a sword…) and we made helmets out of boxes and tinfoil. They were awesome.

I’m glad we got to talk to Vincente about both the standard of liberty and the American flag and what they stand for. The kids love pointing out American flags (almost as much as they love pointing out the temple) and always tell me when they see one. We’re trying to teach our kids that there are times when fighting is okay – but it is only when we are protecting our freedom, our families, and our religion.

I am so grateful for the example of Captain Moroni – especially for my children because we are a military family. We can help them understand that their Papai is fighting for a reason – that we don’t just fight because we want to, we fight to preserve freedom – and freedom is indeed a very important thing to fight for.

Little Slugger

Because I just downloaded these pictures from my camera today, and we have a T-ball game tonight, I thought I would share our little slugger:

Running home -

With “coach” -

And would he be a man (or a jock) if he wasn’t caught adjusting himself?

I promise that I wasn’t trying to get this shot! He moved his hand just as I snapped the picture. I think it’s adorable.

T-ball is certainly fun. No stress, just fun, every gets a chance to hit, everyone gets a chance to “catch” (and by catch I mean, hold up their mitt, then after the ball sails past them, or falls 4 feet in front of them, run to pick it up, and throw it at – er, to – a teammate, who then throws it home), no strikes, no outs, just fun! And the last kid up to bat hits a home run by default (so all the kids can come back in and the teams can switch).

The worst drama is when two kids run after the same ball when they are playing on the field. And then there was the kid that did somersaults to second base. And the one who skipped first base altogether and decided he’d go straight to second. The fun that is 4-year-old T-ball.

Monday Musings - Good Reads and Motherhood

Being a mother is all it’s cracked up to be. And more. I love it. And my attitude about motherhood is improving every minute. It’s a lot like marriage. When you are young (and not married) you have this sort of “fairy tale” impression of marriage. You’ll find the love of your life, making covenants in the temple, and the rest of your life will be utter bliss.

And then you get married and realize that marriage is a whole lot of work, patience, love, and getting to know each other. Especially getting to know yourself.

Sometimes the same thing happens with motherhood.

As a young girl, you look at the moms of small kids and think how awesome it must be to have those precious children and raise them all your own and do their hair and dress them up and take them to ball games and out for ice cream.

And then you have kids. And you realize that motherhood is a whole lot of work, patience, love, and getting to know each other. Especially getting to know yourself.

For a little while you may say to yourself “What on earth was I thinking?” among other things that you may or may not admit to yourself. Like “I wish I could just give them back!” or “I’m never having another kid.” or “I wish I could just start over.”

But none of that is constructive, and you did at one time want to be a mother, which I don’t think was just naïveté. I think the Spirit does a really good job of planting the seed of motherhood in every young girl. We want to be mothers. We crave motherhood, even if we don’t know exactly what it is like. But that is what this mortal experience is all about – experiencing new things and doing things that we have never done before.

So instead of thinking all those crazy thoughts that we deny ever even having, we should be praying for the Lord to give us strength to do things that we don’t think are possible – like keeping our cool when our kids pee on the carpet, draw on the walls, and throw their spaghetti (sauce and all) on our brand new shirt and favorite pants.

It helps to remind ourselves that they are just little people, too, who are here in this mortal life for the same reasons we are – to experience new things and do things that they have never done before. And it’s our job to help them in that journey, because even though our journey isn’t done yet, we have experienced more of it than they have, and we are (hopefully) able to guide them through it all and help them make sense of the whole thing.

I have been reading a lot about motherhood lately (it is, after all, my full time job, and I want to be the best employee I can be).

I wrote my thoughts about the things I read over on my scripture study blog. At the bottom of the post I listed the articles I’ve been reading. I highly recommend the one about Quality and Quantity Time by Beppie Harrison.

I am so grateful for the opportunity to be a mother, and I am glad that I had such a strong desire to be a mother when I was young and I’m even more grateful that I am learning to love being a mother. It is a lot more work than I ever thought it would be (it’s emotional, physical, spiritual, and temporal work) …

… but it is the best work I have ever done.

Monday Musings – Breastfeeding, the outcast

I have been thinking about breast feeding a lot lately. Mostly I’ve been thinking about all the misunderstandings surrounding breast feeding. What has spurred this? No, I’m not pregnant (but I wish I was – more about that later). I think what started me thinking so strongly about breast feeding was finding that my aunt who just had her first baby has stopped breastfeeding before her baby was 2 months old because “her milk dried up.”

Now, before I go on, let me say that I know that there are some women who just can’t (physically) breastfeed. But let me also say that the number is a lot smaller than people think it is. However, there are a lot of women who emotionally can’t breastfeed, due to lack of support or lack of desire. I think those are the two real reasons why women aren’t successful at breast feeding. And really, the lack of desire is closely linked to the lack of support. Women who were brought up in “non breast feeding” homes I think are more likely to lack the desire to breast feed.

The whole perception of breastfeeding is what is messed up. Too many people think that breastfeeding is something that is nice to do “if you can” but not essential, and it’s “okay” if you don’t breastfeed. Sure, in way, that’s true. You’re not a sinner if you don’t breastfeed. However, breastfeeding is completely natural, normal, and is actually how God intended for us to feed our children. He didn’t make women produce milk “just in case” someone didn’t come up with formula.

Being a strong advocate of adoption, I completely understand the significance of better infant formula that is almost as good as breast milk (formula will never ever be as good a breast milk. Ever.) There are infants who would die if it wasn’t for formula. So for that, I’m grateful for formula.

But there are women who plan on feeding formula for the majority of their baby’s lives. Vincente never had formula, and Joseline only had formula a handful of times (and I think they were all when I was gone longer than expected).

Now, back to the perception of breast feeding. To a lot of women (even those who are stay at home moms) “breast feeding” involved pumping breast milk, sticking it in a bottle, and giving it to the baby.

This is not breastfeeding. The only time a mother should be pumping is when the baby cannot latch (ie, a preemie, severe latching problems, or separation). I pumped for Joseline when I was away from her for a weekend when she was about 5 months old.

I think part of the problem is that women don’t associate having a baby with breastfeeding. There is a reason why milk comes in when you have a baby. It’s because you are supposed to put that baby on your breast and nourish it.

BREASTS ARE FOR BREASTFEEDING. Sure, they are for other things, as well, but their very nature is for breastfeeding. Women think of their breasts as a sex symbol. We worry about our cup size, we worry about how a shirt makes our breasts look. But breasts are originally and ultimately for breast feeding our children. That’s why even very small-breasted women (like myself  - I barely fill an A cup) can still breastfeed successfully (Baby #1 – 10.5 months, exclusively breastfed until solid food around 4.5/5 months when he started cereals; Baby #2 – 12 months, exclusively breastfed for 6 months). Both of my babies are ultra healthy, have never had ear infections, and have never had anything worse than the sniffles.

I think that if women who wanted to get pregnant would equate that with wanting to breastfeed, and would think about breastfeeding while they were thinking about what color to paint the nursery, there would be better breastfeeding figures in our society.

I do not judge women who choose not to breastfeed (whether for real or perceived real reasons) but please do not spread your lack of enthusiasm for breast feeding to new or expectant mothers. Too often, I hear this from people who (often) chose not to breastfeed (because it was hard because ______ – news flash – breastfeeding is NOT easy, just like being a mother is not easy. Oh wait, that’s right, breastfeeding is part of being a mother). I hear people saying “It’s okay if you can’t (read: don’t want to) breast feed. Your kids will be just as healthy if you don’t.”

THIS IS NOT TRUE! Sure, choosing to formula feed your babies is not giving them a death sentence. But PLEASE do not tell people flat out lies – that formula fed babies are just as healthy as breast fed babies because THIS IS JUST COMPLETELY NOT TRUE. NOT TRUE. NOT TRUE!!! It is a load of crap mothers feed themselves (and others) to make themselves feel better for not breast feeding. Well, I have two things to say to that:

#1) You have no reason to feel bad about choosing not to breast feed. Like I said before, it is not a sin. If you really do feel bad, then make up for it by encouraging other new mothers to breast feed – not by spouting untruths to them to make yourself feel better.

#2) It is a scientifically proven fact that breast fed babies are indeed healthier than formula fed babies. SCIENTIFICALLY PROVEN.

You know what, breast feeding is even so important that the Surgeon General of the United States himself has issued a call to support breast feeding.

Breast feeding is natural, normal, and our God-given ability as mothers. Have faith in that God-given ability, and go find help from people who know what they are doing, and by golly, breast feed your child! Don’t pump and give them a bottle – latch that baby on your breast and let them drink the liquid gold that your body creates in a beautiful miracle. If it hurts, find out why and fix it! Don’t just give up because it hurts for two weeks. Fix your latch, talk to a lactation consultant, call La Leche League, go to your OB, your midwife, your friend, your neighbor, SOMEONE, and GET HELP!

And then, if you really can’t breastfeed – then blessings to you for trying, and for wanting to, and for doing everything you could to keep breastfeeding, and my heart goes out to you – you are a great mother, and please help other women breastfeed, don’t feed them a load of crap just because you weren’t able to breastfeed – you are still a good person, and breast is still best.

Sorry for my rant. I hope I don’t offend anyone. I just had to get that off my chest.

Breastfeeding reads:
The Surgeon General's call
Dr Jack Newman’s website
La Leche League International

General Conference Prep

I played the Prophets and Apostles matching game with Vincente again today. He did really well remembering the names! He even got Elder Hales and Elder Scott straight (I really struggle with those two when I see them – hearing them I can differentiate, but their pictures look a lot alike, especially in black-and-white printer paper quality).

While we were playing, Vincente says to me, “I was the prophet when I was telling you what to do.” It took me a minute to remember what on earth he was talking about, but then I remembered for Family Home Evening last Monday we had Vincente pretend to be the Prophet, and Russ pretended to be Heavenly Father – Russ would tell Vincente something to tell me, and then Vince would come around the corner and tell me (“put your hands on your head” “sit down” “stand up” “fold your arms” etc). I couldn’t believe that Vincente remembered that lesson! He has been surprising me left and right with his gospel knowledge. I worry, because we attend a Portuguese ward, and sometimes I think he doesn’t understand what is going on in Primary. On top of that, he doesn’t have a long attention span and never looks like he is listening, so half the time I think we’re just talking to ourselves. But then he goes and says stuff like this, and reminds me that prophets talk to Jesus, and I’m just floored. Over and over again.

Anyway, I was getting excited for Vince to see the General Authorities at General Conference in April, and then I remembered that he has never really heard their voices. So I hopped on to LDS.org and looked up the “General Conference Highlights” and showed him this video:

He actually did pretty well naming them while he was watching.

The thing that struck me, though, was how quiet he was during the first clip of President Monson. I could tell that he was feeling the Spirit while he watched. After a minute, I started explaining what each apostle was talking about in Primary terms - “He’s telling us that we need to obey.” “He’s telling us that we can have the Holy Ghost with us to teach us.” “He’s telling us to be like the Savior.” “He’s telling you to keep the commandments so that you can have the Priesthood, which means you have the power of God.”

Then, on one of the clips of President Monson, Vincente says, “Hey, President Monson! Do you talk to Jesus?” And then, Vince changes his voice (to sound like President Monson, I assume) and says, “Yes, I do.”

It was a really humbling experience for me to listen to that sweet (if somewhat silly) testimony of my not-quite-four-year-old son, affirming that he knows that President Monson is a prophet, and that President Monson talks to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.

When Elder Oaks talked about the two lines of communication with Heavenly Father, I tried to reinforce the testimony and explained that Elder Oaks was telling us that we can talk to Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father when we pray, and that we can also listen to the prophets because they talk to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and tell us what to do.

I plan on playing the matching game with Vincente more, and then also playing the “highlights” clip from last year’s General Conference. During the six months following April’s General Conference, I’ll play the new “highlights” clip for him every now and then. I think the “highlights” clip is probably the best tool yet for exposing little kids to General Conference. There is gentle background music, and the clips are short (1-2 minutes) and it’s only 16 minutes from start to finish. Vince was just about done at 12-13 minutes, but I tried to help him stick it out. It’s just perfect for his attention span – 4 two hour sessions is going to be entirely too much for him right now, but this will help get him ready to sit and listen to longer talks. And later as he gets older, we can play clips of the talks by the apostles in longer segments.

I think we will have him sit and listen when the Prophet addresses us. I haven’t decided what to expect out of him for the rest of it. We’ll try to get him and sit with us (by me explaining what the speakers are saying – in Primary terms), but I don’t know how much he’ll care to sit through, and I would like to be able to just sit and soak up one or two sessions. We’ll see how it goes.

Segue O Profeta

 
Last week for Family Home Evening, we made a matching game with the pictures of the prophets and apostles. I just printed the pictures from the November 2010 Ensign on cardstock (two copies) and then cut them out to make pairs of each prophet/apostle’s face. I had to resize the pictures of the First Presidency, but that was pretty easy.

Both of our kids love matching games, and this one was no different. At first it was a little hard for them, because there were 15 pairs (30 cards) and they are used to 8-10 cards. But Vincente still did really well, and Joseline even found a few matches on her own! Next time we will probably do them in smaller sets – 4-5 pictures at a time.

As we flipped over the pictures, we practiced saying the names of the person pictured. This was good for Russ and myself as well… I’m ashamed to say we’re not as good as we thought we were at remembering all the names. The leadership has changed so much since I was a teen! I still remember listening to Elder Maxwell and President Faust. It seems like it was just yesterday that they were speaking to us – but it’s been years, hasn’t it?

I hope that this will help our kids enjoy General Conference more when we watch it in a few weeks.

Monday Musings – Things that Matter Most

There are things that matter, and things that matter most. Being showered, dressed, and looking nice? Sure that matters. But if it takes away the time I get to play with  my kids, I’d rather be wearing my jammies all day and playing Star Wars with my 3 year old in his undies, and my baby in her diaper.

Because that matters more than getting dressed in the morning.

Especially when we’re all sick.

Monday Musings - Mother’s Day In

Well, the pictures below have almost nothing to do with what I’m writing about, but I need to post pictures, so here you go.

I went to my in-laws house last week and spent the night. Russ was gone, so it was just me and the kids. And today, while I was thinking about how refreshing it was to go there, I realized exactly why (besides the fact that I really like them!).

I love my babies. So much. And I always need their cuddles and love. But I also need a little time to myself.

One solution to this dilemma is to take the kids to a daycare, get a sitter, or otherwise remove them from my presence (or me from theirs). But whenever I do this, one of two things happens:

1.) If I left the kids because I needed to get something done (take a class, run errands, etc) I end up completely focused on the task, and I end up not really having time to myself.
2.) If I left the kids because I “needed time to myself” or went on a date with their Papai, I end up thinking (or talking) about the kids the whole time.

So I’ve discovered what is actually more refreshing for me:

Having the kids where I am (in the same house, but not necessarily climbing all over me, needing me to feed them, wash them, potty them, etc etc) but having someone else be the primary caregiver for them. That means, if they come running to get on me, the other person who is taking care of them comes and gets them and takes care of their needs. But they are still around for me to go give love and kisses to, or play with for a little while. Or if I decide I want to feed them a snack, I can – but all the pressure of caring for the children is removed.

Sometimes Russ does this (takes care of the kids while I’m still around), and I feel great afterward. It’s like just enough of a break without feeling like I’m “getting away” from my kids. I don’t want to get away from them, but knowing that I don’t have to be the one making sure their every need is met at every second is a nice breather for me.

I think that is what makes me feel like a new person. Heck, what makes me feel like a person instead of solely a source of sustenance for two small children and a pillar for a grown man.

(p.s. funny story about that snowman – a few weeks later, Vince was asking, “Let’s go outside and make a Vincente-size snowman so I can put the carrot in his nose. Not a big snowman.” Ha ha. Cute kid.)

Monday Musings – Entertaining Angels

I read this scripture this morning:

From Hebrews 13:2, and I think it will be our theme for our life in the next several years.

We started the process to become licensed as foster parents. We decided a long time ago that we want to foster and adopt, and that we wanted to be parents to any children who needed them. We want to provide a safe place, a warm home, for any child who needs a place to be safe.

The licensing process is a little long, but we are on our way! I have been feeling this tug at my heart for the past several months – and now that we are finally taking the steps, I feel great and I can’t wait for us to be licensed foster parents.

If you want to entertain angels in your home, if only for a little while, contact the Utah Foster Care Foundation (or the foster care foundation in your state) and apply for foster care.

Why should you? Because you may end up entertaining “angels unawares.”

Favorites Part II – The Best Moments

From my previous post:

“In looking through 500+ photos I’ve taken this summer, I realize that I have two different kinds of ‘favorite photos’ – the first is my best photography. You know those pictures – the ones with good composition, good lighting, creativity – ones you might show off in a competition of some sort.

“Now, I’m not saying my photography is great– I’m working on it, it’s mostly a mild hobby. However, I do think I’ve taken some pretty good shots.

“My other kind of ‘favorite photos’ are the ones capturing a fantastic moment – no matter the composition, lighting, etc. They are the ones that make me smile because I remember what my kids were saying and doing at the very moment. I remember the way it made me feel, and I am grateful that I have immortalized that moment in picture.”

These, my friends, are the photos (and videos) of the second kind.

Inside the Tree on Kingfisher trail at Pinnacle Mt. State Park

The V&J Band (the Vince and Joss Band) Piano lessons with Grandma PamJoseline reading on a big floor pillow












At the playground – on the “castle”

  With Grandma’s plumeriasDancing with cousin Karyn – their favorite thing to do (in the background, “Enchanted” is playing... I think that’s where they get the dancing from)

The kids wanted some “dancing music” so I put on some CD of “romantic songs” – Vincent and Karyn dancing, and Joseline ... singing?

 

 

 

  Joseline dumped out the dog’s water dish, and this is what the kids decided to do with the waterYay slides!  This is me finally figuring out how to use the continuous shot mode on my camera – which probably contributed a lot to those 500+ pictures...Vincente cooking his lizard. Yum.

The kids filthy after playing at a park that had used tire stuff... it was probably actual used tires chopped up – dirt and everything. At least they had fun!  

Vincente’s favorite item in the dress up chest was the butterfly wings. This is the song that goes with the wings. more Vince cooking (this time it’s actual food, not a lizard)

Joseline after eating chocolate in the car on the drive out to Arizona The kids waving and still trying to hold on Joseline – not too happy to be riding on this sawhorse The kids playing with their beanie babies together in the back. Joseline wants to be doing whatever Vincente is doing. When he doesn’t mind, it’s absolutely darling.  There’s no school like the old school – even the puppies wanted a ride! I wish I’d snapped a picture of that! Then all they wanted to do was hid in the cool shade underneath (and get filthy). Dumb dogs. Cool dude – except that they are pink sunglasses and a Disney Princess scooter... but hey, he does look pretty suave in spite of the pink, don’t you think?

Vince pulling Joseline in the laundry basket. What I love the most is their hats. and the fact that Vince is actually doing something cool for Joseline (and that she is wearing brown Mary Janes with her pajamas – more on that later)

Playing hide-and-seek at the “Arizona house”