Showing posts with label books. Show all posts
Showing posts with label books. Show all posts

Saturday, June 2

A New Page

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The Salt Lake County Libraries just finished building a brand new, huge library right here in West Jordan. The old library was small and kind of ghetto. The new library is spunky, big, and clean.

IMG_1507We went to the grand opening where we checked out some new books (it looked like they spend a lot of money on new books), watched a puppet show of Peter Pan, saw a giant snake poop in front of the audience, saw a tarantula, held a cockroach, and played on some blow up slides.

IMG_1509I love West Jordan, and the fancy new library makes me love it even more. I also love that we’re within walking distance of all these things to do – the rec center, the library, the big park. It’s all right here basically in front of our house.

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Saturday, July 16

Finally, It Works

If you’re like me, you like to budget.

But if you have a husband like mine, you know that the budget thing has to be really simple, fool-proof, and funds have to be protected. I’m not saying Russ is a frivolous spender, because he isn’t, but his idea of budgeting is “Do we have  money in our account? Okay, then let’s go spend it.”

We have tried every method of budgeting (it seems like it, anyway!).

Don’t believe me? Since we got married we’ve tried:

- a paper spreadsheet printed out each month
- this book, Debt-Free on Any Income (which came with a CD rom of lots of fun spreadsheets)
- The Church’s “One for the Money” book complete with budgets, get-out-of-debt plans, etc.
- Quicken (too complicated, and too many features)
- Budget Map (actually a really cool idea, but it wouldn’t work with one checking account and one spouse who would never write anything down…)
- mvelopes (an online envelope system that really worked for a while, but cost us every month… how’s that for counter productive!)
- Budget (a program from Snowmint CS, which was actually pretty useful, too, but not as “automated” as mvelopes, and since we were moving from mvelopes to this program, it was just too much work).
- Dave Ramsey’s “Deluxe Envelope System” – which would be great if Russ was doing the shopping, but I spend cash way too easily (easier than using my debit card, if you can believe it)

All the trial and error was actually pretty good because we discovered a lot of things about our money habits:
1.) We don’t like to keep track of every single tiny purchase. We are not normally frivolous spenders, we have a pretty good grasp of “need” and “want” and we don’t spend emotionally. We get what we need, and leave what we don’t. We eat whole, natural foods, so we don’t buy crap at the grocery store. We don’t like keeping pieces of paper around, and we don’t like writing stuff down.
2.) I am not good at using cash. Russ is really great at it. If I give him a bunch of cash, he’ll end up with almost as much cash a month later. He seriously doesn’t spend cash. If you give me cash, I’ll spend it all at once instead of rationing. And then I don’t have any more cash, and I can’t get the things we need, because I spent all my cash. I guess I feel like because cash is “untraceable” I can spend it on whatever, instead of on things we actually need.
3.) We like to have all our bills automated.
4.) When we have less money, we spend less money.
5.) I like to plan out every dollar for the month, but Russ likes to have a large “slush” fund (which he usually does not use).

So, after trying every different budgeting method under the sun, we’ve finally found a process we think will work for us:

First, we use my own budget I made up (based off the mvelopes budget that I absolute LOVED). It is just a spreadsheet, but it is crazy powerful and really helps us give every dollar a name. It checks our sums in three different ways, so we can always tell how we need to move things around to make the budget work. In one document, we can do our monthly budget, and budget each paycheck. It’s pretty awesome, if you ask me.

Second, we added a feature to our budget (which isn’t in the one I posted publicly, but I will update it soon) – we’ve color coded the line items. Bills that need to be paid are highlighted in yellow. Bills that have been paid or are pending in the checking account are marked with green. Once the money clears our checking account, we change the color to red. That way, if we’re wondering why there is extra money in our account, we can usually just check the budget. This is a great recording system for us.

Third, we recently added yet another feature to the budget because when our discretionary spending is mixed in the same checking account as our “bills” money, we sometimes end up spending that money.

Remember Russ’ method of “budgeting”? If there’s money in the account, we can spend it! So we decided to open a second checking account for our “discretionary” spending. This is all spending that isn’t programmed, automatic, or regular. Grocery money goes in this account, gas money, spending money, etc (it all goes in there because half the time we are “stealing” money from one category to use in another, which doesn’t bug us, as long as we eat and Russ can get to work). The only drawback to this was that we would probably spend all the money in the account right up front (remember me with the cash? I’m not that much better with the debit card). So instead of putting all the money from each paycheck in there, we set the budget spreadsheet up to calculate all the “descretionary” items each month, and divide that by 30, then multiply by 7, and that is how much money we transfer to the second checking account each Monday for four Mondays.

We’re still working out the math, but the idea behind this system is that we create “artificial scarcity” with our money. We “have” less money, so we spend less money.

It has taken five long years, but we finally have a budget system that is going to work for our family. And it doesn’t involve me spending several hours a day recording bank transactions, balancing checkbooks, and checking online accounts. It should be seamless and only require us to address the budget twice a month before pay day, and any time we need an emergency budget meeting.

Which means more time to hang out with the babies, blog, and live life.

That’s what I’m talking about.

Wednesday, November 10

Wednesday Wanderings – West Jordan Public Library Story Time

Wednesday Wanderings Sorry this week’s wandering is a little late (and a little lame... I mean, a library again?) But it’s really the only place we’ve been lately, so... here goes.

We went to story time yesterday at the West Jordan Library. It was actually by far the best library story time I have ever taken my children to. The librarian who ran the show was great, the kids absolutely loved her, the whole thing was themed (boxes!!) and at the end, each kid got to decorate their own box to take home (with a little prize from the librarian tucked inside!)

Now, when I say we “went” to the library, what I mean is we walked to story time. The library is only about a mile away, and half of that we get to walk through the neighborhood (the other half is on the scary busy street). It would be a nice walk, except it was snowing yesterday and it was about 32 degrees outside. Yikes.

Well, Russ had the car at work (can’t drive a motorcycle in the snow), so we walked because I had to get out of the house. I also have a weather shield for the stroller, so it wasn’t bad. And when the sun was shining and the wind wasn’t blowing, it was actually too hot for a big coat.

Story time is officially part of our weekly routine – rain or shine (or snow!) – and hopefully the van will be available for us. Otherwise I might just have to check out the bus schedule... for a 1 mile ride. Seriously, it was cold.

Ratings:

Value 5star

It was like free preschool. You can’t beat that.

Location5star

Uh, 1 mile from my house? It just can’t get better than that. And the library is on the main street (and just off Redwood Rd) – better than the last library we visited.

  Fun Factor5star

The kids loved it, and Vincente actually remembered everything about it and regurgitated it to Russ when he got home from work.

Your Turn! Go write your Wednesday Wanderings blog and link up here! Here’s the html for the button:

<a href="http://rowleypoly.blogspot.com/search/label/Wednesday%20Wanderings" target="_blank" title="Wednesday Wanderings"> <img src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/_enTqG9B6DwE/TNLiY9vRmeI/AAAAAAAAQus/3F0xC1xuxt8/s800/wedwandslayers.jpg" alt="Wednesday Wanderings" /></a>

Wednesday, September 15

Wednesday Wanderings – Sierra Vista Public Library

Story time was a bust... that is, it didn’t happen. Which was odd, because a lot of families were there. Next week I’ll call on Monday and double check.

The library is really pretty, and larger than I expected for such a small town, but I imagine that it serves all the surrounding, smaller towns as well.

The children’s section is nice, with puzzles, fun couches, and “audio book listening area” with tape/CD players and headphones, and several rows of children’s books. We didn’t stay long, because there were so many people there and no story time happening that Vince got a little rowdy. But we did check out a few fun books:

The Gruffalo by Julia Donaldson about a little mouse who “makes up” this scary sounding monster called a “Gruffalo” in order to scare off all the other animals who might want to eat him (a fox, and owl, and a snake) then finds out that the Gruffalo is real, and his favorite food is mice. You’ll have to grab the book to find out how it ends (I promise, it’s a happy ending – totally G rated – no mice are eaten by anything). It’s really cute, and the rhyming is really good. An interesting tidbit is that the author originally intended the Gruffalo character to be a tiger, but when tiger didn’t fit in with the rhyme, she made up this Gruffalo creature to be the title character. I have to admit – it is a really funny story. You’ll get a kick out of it.

 

Children’s Classics to Read Aloud selected by Edward Bishen. It has excerpts from lots of different classics – The Hobbit, Charlotte’s Web, The Emporer’s New Clothes, among others. They are a little above Vincente’s level of attention, but we’re reading them anyway. He actually did okay sitting through a story about Mr. Toad, and he was okay listening to Charlotte’s Web. I figure it’s a good way to start introducing him to really good literature. And an alternative to picture books and movies all the time. There are pictures (a single picture) included with most of the stories, so that’s nice when he starts loosing interest. I hope to start reading the classics aloud as a family when we move to our new house and have all our books again.

We also checked out a book about dinosaurs, a fun one with a Bear in a Square, and a few board books for Joseline. It feels weird not to have all our books with us – and we haven’t been reading a lot lately because of our lack of literature! But the library will keep us in books for the next few weeks until we can open up our boxes and boxes of books at home in Utah!! It’s seriously going to be like Christmas!!

Now, for the ratings:

Ratings:

5star Value – five stars because, well, it’s free! And you can get a card with an active duty military ID, even if you don’t have proof of residency (although we had proof of residency). It’s a really nice facility, and there is a little cafe in the front (which we didn’t check out, but maybe will one day).

 

4star Location – four stars because it’s kind of out on the outskirts of town, and in my opinion, a library should be smack in the middle of town. Okay, so it’s not a big deal because the city is only about 4 square miles anyway – but still. It should be in the middle of those 4 square miles.

 

4star Fun Factor – four stars because kids hate being quiet (although that’s the nature of a library) but four instead of less because there are lots of fun “quiet” activities provided for the kids over in the children’s section. Not to mention the very large selection of children’s literature (including an entire wall full of board books – and when I say wall, I mean, like a 15 ft long section of wall, 5 or 6 shelves full of board books).

Sunday, April 18

Sincere Desires

I posted today over in my scripture blog about refinement. Russ and I read an article last summer in the Ensign called "Our Refined Heavenly Home". It was a great article, and at the time reminded me of a lot of things. Then it was of course put in the recycle bin, and the article was forgotten. But not entirely.

Today, or maybe this was last night, as I was studying the words of the Prophet and other Church leaders, I was reminded of a few Ensign articles I had read that had a profound influence on me. This one about refinement was one. This article about a great mother was another that had a deep impact on me.

So I printed both articles to a PDF on my desktop so I can read them regularly. It’s not often that I feel so deeply affected by an Ensign article or a talk. Sure, many talks and articles have stirred my soul and increased my testimony, but occasionally there is a talk or article that feels like the author was sitting down with you in private conversation, answering your very concerns and questions – giving voice to the sincere desires of your heart.

Well, there is a lot in both articles – too much for one imperfect person like me to become in less than a lifetime, but I want to work on the things in each article.

This week I am going to work on being more refined in my speech. I want to speak with “purity of thought and sincerity of expression.”

I don’t want to be only refined in my choice of words and in my language, but also in what I talk about.

“Refinement in speech is reflected not only in our choice of words but also in the things we talk about. There are those who always speak of themselves; they are either insecure or proud. There are those who always speak of others; they are usually boring. There are those who speak of stirring ideas, compelling books, and inspiring doctrine; these are the few who make their mark in this world.”

So there it is. My goal for the week. My soul’s sincere desire. I have faith that as I come to Him in sincere prayer, Heavenly Father will bless me with the ability to become more than I am.

How do you want to be more than you are? Are there any General Conference talks or Ensign articles that seemed like the speaker/author had sat down in private conversation with you?

Saturday, January 30

Long Time

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It’s been a while, and I’ve been taking too many pictures (again!) but I’ve decided to start only posting my very favorite pictures or the pictures that go along with a particular story/event I want to share. And then not spend so much time talking about the stuff that went on. I’d like to … but my life is probably not nearly as interesting as the pictures are cute :)

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I’m going to work more on scrapbooking and eventually I’m going to start printing pictures to hang in our home (this fall… when we have a “home”)

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Anyway, life has been very eventful this month. My parents came to visit, we went to the aquarium with them, the farmers market, and did a bazillion other things.

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DSCN1663 Now we’re getting ready for yard selling and moving and such.

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I can’t believe our time here is almost finished.

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We’ll be moving back to UT on March 1 (well, me and the babies) – but those plans are kind of tentative… they’ve changed at least 4 times since the beginning of the year…

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Then it will be job hunting for me, graduation for Russ from DLI on April 1 (which I may or may not attend… he said he doesn’t care as much about his graduation from DLI as he cared about his graduation from BYU – I can’t blame him… bachelor’s degree and 5+ languages vs. associates and 1 language… hmm, it’s easy to see which schooling wins in the “coolness” dept for him)

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In other news, Joseline still does not walk, I speak more Portuguese at home (and have committed to speaking Portuguese to the kids this summer while Russ is in AZ), Vince speaks Portuguese in the evenings and on weekends when Russ is home, and Joseline mostly just giggles. Oh yeah, and makes the “car” noise. Like every time she sees anything with wheels. Motorcycles, cars, push toys, etc. It’s pretty much hilarious. Her favorite toys are cars, and dishes. Good thing we have a lot of each.

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And she loves Lightening McQueen. If Vince’s Cars toys are out and she has a choice, she goes for the Cars toys before the Hotwheels. I can’t blame her – they are pretty fun cars.

DSCN1752 Vince goes potty almost all by himself and FINALLY puts his undies back on by himself. I just stopped helping him one day. The first few days he ran around naked because he wouldn’t put them on by himself. Then I started taking away toys/privileges if he wasn’t “underweared” Now he just does it himself.

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Russ is getting ready to take the Chinese DLPT on March 20 (another recent for our early departure). He’s doing pretty well in class, but still hates doing homework. I totally understand though. We are SO much more entertaining than his homework :)

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DSCN1721 I am mostly hanging out with the kids, marking off my to-do list every day, and SO enjoying my garden which is blooming all sorts of beautiful flowers (the flowers are totally coming with me to UT).

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DSCN1854 We try to go to the library more often, and I’ve started doing a run/kid swap with a friend – she runs while I watch her 2 year old, then I run while she watches my kids! It’s working out great, and I’ve been pretty consistently working back up to a 10 min mile for 3 miles. I hit it just about on the head on Wednesday, and I hope to do a 4.1 mile loop next week, probably on Friday. With lots of hideous hills. It’s going to be a great run, though. Half-marathon, here I come! I’m progressing, slowly but surely.

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The Post Wide Yard sale is on Saturday (the 6th) and my goal is to make $1000!!! Can I do it!? Better bet your bottom dollar I will!! I’ve got lots to sell, and I have the very best spot on the lot, which is going to be all decorated pretty, and I always have a “free stuff” box, which I’m going to place at the BACK of my spot this time, instead of the front, so people have to walk past all my COOL stuff to get to the free stuff :) You’d think I was in marketing or something.

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Anyway, hope you enjoyed the random update and the pictures. Just a few BAZILLION of my very favorites from the past weeks. (Sorry, I wrote “few” before I actually went through my pictures to see how many favorites I had… )

Saturday, June 6

Temper Tantrums

After we solved the sleep issue we decided to look into solving the tantrum issue.

For those of you who don't know Vincente (and many of you who do), Vincente is a very tantrum-prone child. At first, I wast thinking that it was a behavior issue. He was misbehaving. But after reading a bunch of online articles and library books about tantrums, I decided that Vincente was not being "manipulative" in his tantrum-throwing. All the books talked about ignoring the tantrum and they will stop. It just didn't happen that way with Vincente, and the whole time I felt really bad, because I knew there was a legitimate reason for him being frustrated, and that he was throwing the tantrum out of frustration - not because he knew that kicking and screaming would get him what he wanted.

Vincente gets frustrated (to tantrum-throwing levels) about two things, in general - the first is with toys that don't do what he wants them to do, or when they "break" and he doesn't know how to put them back together. The second is when he is trying to ask me for something and I have a hard time understanding him. Face it, even when it's your own kid, you can't always understand their toddler-speak. For instance, yesterday afternoon he asked for juice in the "green cup." Vincente happens to have four green cups in the cupboard - three green sippy cups, and one green kid size cup. So, when I picked up the wrong "green cup" from the cupboard, he almost had a meltdown. Quickly, I tried to point to each "green cup" to figure out which one he wanted before his distress turned into a full-blown tantrum.

I'm getting better at being quick to figure out what he's asking for. There is no way that I would want to punish him if he threw a tantrum because I didn't know which green up he asked for when he had been SO verbal - saying "Juice," when he wanted me to get some juice, and then when I got to the cupboard even voicing his preference of sippy cup. Holy cow! That's some amazing communication for a two-year-old. So what if he can't communicate EXACTLY which "green cup" he wants!

So I've been trying to find ways to help him deal with his frustration. The hardest part about figuring this out is that most of the advice out there for helping children deal with their emotions is for older children. I was looking for something to help my two-year-old.

First, I read Beyond Time Out which I have decided is one of the best books on how to maintain respect with your kids by having consistency in rules and consequences. But even though it worked with things like getting Vincente to have his diaper changed, getting him to pick up his toys, etc, it didn't work when he would have a "frustration" tantrum. All it would do was hurt his little feelers even more, and eventually he would get so worked up that I would have to go hold on to him to get him to calm down.

I have mentioned before Bro. Goddard's parenting books. Many LDS family and marriage professors quote John Gottman. Well, I thought I would see what all the fuss was about and pick up a copy of Gottman's Raising Emotionally Intelligent Children. This book is great, and is going on my list of must-read parenting books (trust me, over the last few months I have read more parenting books than any parent ever should!). Well, like I said, also a very good book, but also did not address the problem of dealing with frustration in toddlers. It does in a very general way, but mostly in regards to playing with other children - not solitary play, which is where Vincente has the most problems (in my mind).

So I finally went back to the web, thinking maybe I would try a different approach. I searched for articles about "toddler frustration" - bingo! I hit a few very good articles -

1.) Temper Tantrums - by Dr. Sears
3.) Coping With Toddler Frustration - on Parents.com

This is my basic conclusion, which comes from a congolmeration of ideas from these websites, Gottman's books, and my own understanding of my two-year-old and his needs:

- His "frustration" tantrums are nothing negative (right now), and should not be "disciplined."
- I need to respond gently to his frustration, helping him work out the problem, and helping him learn to use words. For example, getting down on his level and saying, "You sure are frustrated/angry/mad with your toy. Can I help you?" and proceed to show him how to do whatever it is that he is unable to do.
- Make sure that I am around and available to help when he is playing with toys that easily frustrate him - in his case, his magnetic train, and his "hook-together" train... unfortunately, two of his very favorite toys.

Sometimes it's hard for me to remember that Vincente is very much still a baby (well, toddler). I am reminded of that when I see other kids his same age who are much less developed (physically and in speech).

I have to remember that emotionally, he's still just a two-year-old. And while that doesn't mean I can't teach him how to deal with his frustration, I can still expect these frustration tantrum to eventually go away as he does learn how to deal with frustration and grows up a little, emotionally.

Friday, April 17

sleep, glorious sleep

I think Joseline is finally figuring out the whole day/night thing. She still has her evening "fussy time" as I call it, but yesterday it happened earlier in the day - which means bedtime ends up being earlier! (and I'm hoping it will do the same today!). She's starting to be more alert when she's awake, and sleep less easily during the day (i.e., she doesn't guarenteed fall asleep in the car on the way somewhere. She may nod off, but will wake right back up when we get wherever we're going. Last night she fell asleep at 8:30, stirred around 9:30 (i.e., woke up, sort of) - I was able to soothe her back to sleep without picking her up! She slept until 6am, with a feeding around 2am.

I'm hoping this will continue tonight. So far things are looking okay!

Now, I'm no expert on newborn sleep, but I've been reading a lot about sleep, and looking specifically ways to teach your newborn how to sleep. Unfortunately, because babies aren't usually developed enough to figure out the sleeping thing until after 6 weeks, most sleep books say just that - "Your baby will probably not learn how to sleep well until after 6 weeks, so don't worry about it now." Okay, so they don't say it just like that, but basically, that's what all of them are saying. Most books on sleep training don't even give any practical advice until your baby is around 4 months old. So I have been scouring every bit of reading material for things to do to help your newborn sleep well - because I believe that you can at least do something. Most sources had one or two good ideas, but none of them had enough to give you an arsenal of ways to get your baby to sleep. I think hitting them with everything you've got is usually the best way to go.

First, before I continue - three very important points to convince yourself of. Do whatever it takes to really REALLY believe these three things, and you will save yourself a lot of frustration and tears:
  • Newborn babies are not really sleep-trainable until six weeks after their due date (now, before you get all discouraged, READ ON!)
  • There are some things you can do to try to help your newborn's sleep organization mature a little faster - just don't hang all your hope on it.
  • The term sleeping through the night, for a newborn (i.e. younger than 4 months) is 4-5 hours.
Okay, now that you've got that through your head, here are the things to do to help your newborn sleep through the night earlier (while these things may not necessarily work right now, be assured that they will eventually help - and if you get used to doing them now, you may avoid problems later):
  • Turn on the lights/open the blinds during the day (when the sun is shining), and when the sun goes down, keep the lights low (or off) where your baby is in the house. It's really tempting to keep the lights on in the evenings when you wish your baby would go to sleep, but she's not, so you're up doing things like the dishes, watching a movie, playing on the computer, etc while you wait for baby to decide to go to sleep. I'm not saying doing these things are bad - just try doing them without the lights on (okay, doing the dishes will probably be kind of hard). This will help baby adjust faster to light=daytime, dark=nighttime. Remember, baby just game from 24hr darkness, so the more you can do this, the faster baby will figure out the light/dark thing. I think this is the most effective idea I found.
  • Keep stimulating activities to a minimum after "bedtime." You get to decide what "bedtime" is - Since I would eventually like Joseline to be going to be around 9pm, that is what I call "bedtime." The most surprising thing I found out about stimulating activities is that eye contact is a stimulating activity for babies! Making eye contact with a baby causes their pupils to dilate, raises their heart rate, and all that other crazy stuff. So, no eye contact with baby after the time you want them to fall asleep.
  • Put your baby in his/her bed to sleep. This idea was from The No-Cry Sleep Solution. I didn't have any problem with this, but her experience convinced me that this is pretty important - she always let her baby sleep in her arms during the day, and so her babies wouldn't sleep in their cribs at night since they just wanted to sleep in her arms. So, the best way to get baby to sleep in his/her bed at night is to...? You guessed it - let him/her sleep in his/her bed! So during the day, for naps, make sure your newborn naps in his/her bed.
  • Try to soothe without picking them up after you've laid them down to sleep. It makes sense. Just let them lay in the crib/cosleeper/bassinet/whatever and try to get them to go back to sleep without picking them up. It worked last night for me, I'll let you know if it keeps working.
So, I think for newborns, those are the key ideas. There's not much else you can do for your newborn (and remember, Joseline is only 3 weeks old, so by newborn I mean REALLY newborn). After 6 weeks, basically any sleep book will have good advice for helping your baby develop good sleep habits. Most people don't give advice for how to help your newborn sleep through the night starting from day 1, so this is the list of what I have found that is really newborn sleep advice.

Oh yes, and one more piece of advice - make sure your husband is as convinced as you are of the first three facts (mostly the one that says pretty much no matter what, you can't expect your newborn to sleep through the night until after 6 weeks).

Tuesday, April 14

silent return to sleep


A friend of mine read this book to teach her baby good sleep habits. She wrote a very positive review about it on her blog, and so I recommended it to a friend of mine whose 3 month old is having a hard time sleeping longer than 2 hours at a time at night. 

Then I thought, hey, maybe I'll check it out from the library and read it myself. It turned out to be a very good investment... I guess the fact that I didn't pay anything makes it a very good investment - gotta love the library.

Well, I read it at first with the idea that it would help me make sure Joseline developed good sleeping habits. Vincente was already sleeping 10+ hours at night and taking a good 2-3 hour nap during the day. I learned a LOT about sleep and the need for sleep and how our bodies develop sleep habits. I discovered that when I delay Vincente's afternoon nap for any reason, it makes him overtired and that explained the reason he was waking up throwing a tantrum after late naps. Dr. Weissbluth says that he is confused and disoriented which causes him to be emotional and unconsoleable after a late nap. The reason I was ever postponing Vincente's nap was mostly that I was just waiting for him to become so tired that he would crash on his own. Vincente has always been really good about soothing himself to sleep at night, but has never been very good at soothing himself to sleep for a nap. That was never a problem when he was a little younger, because it was fairly easy to get him to fall asleep by rocking or whatever. But now that he's a little older, he fights and fights and fights sleep. Well, Dr. Weissbluth recommends doing the "silent return to sleep." It works for little toddlers who won't go to bed at night, and I discovered that it works for little toddlers who won't stay in their bed to take a nap during the day. Basically it works like this - when your little sneaker gets out of his bed at night, you pick him/her up without a word, without even looking at their faces, and put them gently back into their beds without a word. You don't scold them for the behavior, you don't talk AT ALL. This clues them in to the fact that night time (or nap time) is not "play with mommy/daddy" time - it's go to sleep time. Now, I am of the mind that if your kid gets out of bed because they've had a nightmare, it's totally okay to soothe them and love them and talk to them, but I think Dr. Weissbluth would say the same thing. The "silent return to sleep" is just for the curious little toddler who won't stay in his/her bed. Like Vincente - he just likes to get out to play.

Yesterday, Vincente and I laid down for his nap, I read him a book, sang him a song, and said "Have a nice nap." Then left his room. I heard him get up and start playing with his toys, so I went back in, picked him up, and gently put him right back in his bed. The second time he got out of his bed, I went in to get him, found that he was poopy, changed the diaper and put him back in bed without any interaction and without acknowledging him at all. I went in a third time. On the fourth time, I thought he was out of bed, but he was just laying there quietly in his bed. So, not to have him mistake good behavior for unacceptable behavior, I gave him a quick kiss, softly said "Thanks for staying in your bed," and left. A few minutes later, he was fast asleep. It was amazing.

Now, fast forward to today's naptime (I just put Vincente down about 10 minutes ago). I read him a few books, sang a few songs, and said "Have a nice nap." He got out of bed once, trying to get some more books. While I want Vincente to have a desire to read, I also want him to be a well rested child (this has become even more important to me after reading this book). So I gently put him back in his bed. He sat awake in his bed for a few minutes, talking to himself, or singing to himself. Just about two minutes ago I heard some noise, I thought was him playing with toys in his room. I cracked the door to check, and there he was, eyes closed (still sort of awake), snuggled in his bed with his blanket. He put himself to sleep even faster today than he did yesterday! It was amazing. 

Anyway, so Dr. Weissbluth's book has done two things 1.) taught me a LOT about sleep, and how important naps are for babies and young children, 2.) helped me teach Vincente how to stay in his bed at nap time - GONE are the days I spend an hour (or more!) laying with a crabby Vincente while he fights sleep. I hope I can keep consistant, so this will stick. And I'm much more convinced that it is SO important to allow Vincente a nap at 1 or 2 pm every day. Too bad Church interferes with that on Sundays. Maybe making the weekdays more regular will help with Sundays. I'll let you know!


Tuesday, October 21

Feeling Full

As I'm writing this post, Vincente is in his bed singing Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star, among other things.

So two things happened today that made me feel like I am being a good mother.

For a little background, I have been feeling really crappy lately about my parenting abilities - I think it is compounded with the fact that I feel like I have to do it all by myself. It's great having grandparents help, but it's not the same - especially when there really IS another partner in the marriage who is WILLING to help, and WANTING to help, but just away serving his country. Anyway. I have really been feeling lately like I am a crappy mother.

Here was the proof that I am actually doing an okay job.

1.) This morning while I was brushing my teeth before we left for school, Vince was in the bathroom with me, hanging on my legs like he usually does. As I was putting my toothbrush up, he pulled on me and said "Mom. A kiss? A kiss?" I bent down, and he puckered up and landed a nice fat one on my lips! It was the best feeling ever. Usually I have to coax kisses out of him, and most of the time I fail miserably. So the fact that HE asked ME for a kiss was priceless! Melted my heart... it was pretty much mush for the next few hours.

2.) Tonight after I put Vincente to bed and turned out his light, he got out of bed and stood by my door, calling "I want you, Mom!" (yes... he calls me mom... I think it's because we live in a house where all the kids are older, so they call my MIL mom. Heh. ) Anyway, when I put Vincente to bed and come in my room, I usually keep my door cracked while I get ready for bed (in case he wants to come in) and then when I turn off my lamp and go to sleep, I open the door all the way, so he doesn't get scared being alone in his room. Well, lately, even when the door is just cracked, he still won't open it. He stands at the door and calls for me (like he did tonight) or he stands at the door and knocks. That's probably the cutest. When he knocks on my bedroom door. What an adorable child. So tonight he called for me, and I went in and told him to get back in bed. Earlier just before I had turned out the lamp, when he was sitting in bed, he pointed at his bookshelf and asked for "Books" but I told him it was bedtime and that he couldn't read because I was turning the lights out. Apparently he was not satisfied, and that's why he came to my door. As soon as I came in his room, he went right for the books on his dresser where we had left them after reading bedtime stories. So I said, "Okay, you can read in your bed, but you have to stay in your bed." I gave him about four books, left his lamp on, and came in my room. He sat there in his bed for probably close to 30 minutes "reading." Of course, my 18 month old child doesn't read fluently. In fact, really he only recognizes letters, and the word "Up." But the fact that he wanted to stay up reading made me feel like a great mom. Not that I really had a lot to do with his love of books, but I must have done something right - maybe exposing him to books, letting him read them how he wanted to, reading to him when he asks. Something had to encouraged him. I just hope I can keep encouraging him to read. He loves books so much.

So, yeah, I am encouraged in my parenting skills. At least I'm not a crappy mom whose kid only wants to watch TV ever - he's got interests and hobbies already! :)  And at least my kid loves me a little bit. Today all he wanted to do was cuddle with me all day. Made me feel great. He has never liked to cuddle, ever since he was a baby. Today he wanted to sit on my lap and snuggle me. During my class, at dinner, the whole day. Man, my heart is full of Vincente love. This is definitely the part of being a mom that makes it worth it.