Feeling Full

As I'm writing this post, Vincente is in his bed singing Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star, among other things.

So two things happened today that made me feel like I am being a good mother.

For a little background, I have been feeling really crappy lately about my parenting abilities - I think it is compounded with the fact that I feel like I have to do it all by myself. It's great having grandparents help, but it's not the same - especially when there really IS another partner in the marriage who is WILLING to help, and WANTING to help, but just away serving his country. Anyway. I have really been feeling lately like I am a crappy mother.

Here was the proof that I am actually doing an okay job.

1.) This morning while I was brushing my teeth before we left for school, Vince was in the bathroom with me, hanging on my legs like he usually does. As I was putting my toothbrush up, he pulled on me and said "Mom. A kiss? A kiss?" I bent down, and he puckered up and landed a nice fat one on my lips! It was the best feeling ever. Usually I have to coax kisses out of him, and most of the time I fail miserably. So the fact that HE asked ME for a kiss was priceless! Melted my heart... it was pretty much mush for the next few hours.

2.) Tonight after I put Vincente to bed and turned out his light, he got out of bed and stood by my door, calling "I want you, Mom!" (yes... he calls me mom... I think it's because we live in a house where all the kids are older, so they call my MIL mom. Heh. ) Anyway, when I put Vincente to bed and come in my room, I usually keep my door cracked while I get ready for bed (in case he wants to come in) and then when I turn off my lamp and go to sleep, I open the door all the way, so he doesn't get scared being alone in his room. Well, lately, even when the door is just cracked, he still won't open it. He stands at the door and calls for me (like he did tonight) or he stands at the door and knocks. That's probably the cutest. When he knocks on my bedroom door. What an adorable child. So tonight he called for me, and I went in and told him to get back in bed. Earlier just before I had turned out the lamp, when he was sitting in bed, he pointed at his bookshelf and asked for "Books" but I told him it was bedtime and that he couldn't read because I was turning the lights out. Apparently he was not satisfied, and that's why he came to my door. As soon as I came in his room, he went right for the books on his dresser where we had left them after reading bedtime stories. So I said, "Okay, you can read in your bed, but you have to stay in your bed." I gave him about four books, left his lamp on, and came in my room. He sat there in his bed for probably close to 30 minutes "reading." Of course, my 18 month old child doesn't read fluently. In fact, really he only recognizes letters, and the word "Up." But the fact that he wanted to stay up reading made me feel like a great mom. Not that I really had a lot to do with his love of books, but I must have done something right - maybe exposing him to books, letting him read them how he wanted to, reading to him when he asks. Something had to encouraged him. I just hope I can keep encouraging him to read. He loves books so much.

So, yeah, I am encouraged in my parenting skills. At least I'm not a crappy mom whose kid only wants to watch TV ever - he's got interests and hobbies already! :)  And at least my kid loves me a little bit. Today all he wanted to do was cuddle with me all day. Made me feel great. He has never liked to cuddle, ever since he was a baby. Today he wanted to sit on my lap and snuggle me. During my class, at dinner, the whole day. Man, my heart is full of Vincente love. This is definitely the part of being a mom that makes it worth it.