weddings and family

Vincente and I went to Russ' biological father's brother's wedding yesterday. Yes, I know that sounds confusing, but if you read it a couple of times, you'll figure it out. From now on, we will call him Russ' uncle. 

Anyway, I went because Russ and I got to know his uncle pretty well since we've been married, and Russ likes him a lot. The other reason I went was because I knew Russ' biological father would be there, and I wanted to meet him. Russ hasn't had any contact with his biological father since his mission. That's because when Jeff (Russ' biological father) wrote Russ, he signed the letter "Dad." This was kind of weird to Russ because it was the first he had heard from Jeff since Jeff and Russ' mom got divorced over 23 years ago. So, Russ wrote back and basically said "Don't call yourself Dad to me." Which probably hurt Jeff's feelings a little. From what I hear about him (and now have kind of witnessed first hand) he's a lot like Russ in the sensitive emotions department. 

So apparently (according to Russ' grandma) Jeff was really nervous to meet us. I (maybe a little callously) didn't care, and decided since he was Russ' father, I had a right to meet him, awkward as it might be to him. I've told Russ since we were married and started having kids that we should get in contact with Jeff and offer him a place in our lives - I think he wanted to be involved in Russ' life, and due to circumstances, he wasn't really able to have any role at all. I think it would probably mean something to Jeff if he could be involved again. So, I met him. It was a little awkward, I had to stand around waiting for other people talking to him to move along. And I didn't really know how to introduce myself to him. People had already come up to me and said "Oh, you're Jeff's daughter-in-law." But I didn't really think I should walk up to him and say, "Hey, I'm you're daughter-in-law." So I introduced myself as Russ' wife. He looked a little surprise, and nervous, but Vincente put him at ease, I think, and we exchanged a little small-talk before we got swept in different directions in the crowd. As we were leaving, I passed by him again to give him Russ' mailing address. He actually saw me and asked if I was leaving, and then I gave him the address and he remarked about Russ still being at Basic, and I told him he would be there for a few more weeks. Anyway, I think overall it went well.

And hopefully I can keep helping to smooth out whatever hurt or awkwardness there is between Russ and Jeff. Maybe they can be friends. If they can't, I'll be Jeff's friend! He seems really nice. We'll see how things go.