just my musings

Okay, I kept wanting to write little extras in my halloween post, but to spare those who don't want to read my random, sometimes depressing thoughts, they are being relocated to their own post.

I am glad Halloween is over. Last year I enjoyed it. That's probably because last year I had a husband to share it with (and who did pretty much everything, other than the actual making of Vincente's costume). So yeah... I hate doing holidays as a single mom. 

And I hate being alone. I miss Russ. He's my best friend in the world, and without him around to talk to, life is really lonely. No one else can really take his place. Talking to other people is great, but talking to Russ is irreplaceable. It's as if I know that whatever I say to him will stick in his heart (even though he may not remember it). He and I are connected for eternity. We're not connected to anyone else in the world the way we're connected to ourselves. Not to our parents, not to our kids. Our parents have their spouses, and eventually we hope our children will find spouses. So I miss being close to the person I'm closest to, if that makes sense.

And in just over a week, I'll get to be with him again! Even if it is only for a few hours. I miss him so much. Having your best friend be more than a phone call away is hard. There have been countless times (especially lately) where I just wanted to pick up my phone and call him to chat for a few minutes, or text him. The last time we were this "permenantly" away from each other was when I went home to Arkansas the summer before we got engaged. But I got to talk to him almost every single night! It was fabulous! And we don't even have that, so it's really hard for me.

I miss him soooooo much.