mothering

As Vincente gets older and understands more things and is developing his personality more, I worry about making sure he learns good things. It breaks my heart when he throws tantrums and gets mad and flops around like a crazy person. I almost feel like I am some cause of these negative emotions.

Then I have to remind myself that he's a human being, and it's GOOD for him to experience all kinds of emotions, even negative ones. I just hope I can help him learn how to deal with the negative emotions, and minimize them. It's hard for a one year old to understand that he can make a choice to be happier, and he doesn't have to get mad over little things. That's probably my biggest goal right now - helping him understand that. It's hard to know how to do it. I'm trying to set a good example by not getting mad at things, and trying to be happy and peaceful. I'm trying to make sure we say family prayer, so we can have the spirit in our home. I'm trying to make sure we read the scriptures every day so we can learn about the gospel principles that will keep us happy. I just hope all that rubs off on him, that he figures it out.

Part of it might be that Russ is gone. That can screw up anyone's emotions (let me tell you!).

The challenges we face by being mothers are some of the most difficult, but at the same time the results are more rewarding than anything.

I suggest reading a book by Dr. Wallace Goddard (my old institute teacher) - The Soft-Spoken Parent. He says a lot of good things in this book that have really helped me as I try to be a better parent for Vincente. The most satisfying thing about Bro. Goddard's writing is that he always bases parenting on the gospel. He has an amazing way of making you think about your testimony of Jesus Christ as the way to parent. He wrote a very good article about parenting in another book, but I can't find a link to the book. I think it is called "Likening the Scriptures" or something. He edited it and has a few articles in there. My copy is packed away in my storage unit somewhere, so I don't even know the title of the article. Anyway, he has written a lot on marriage and parenting (he is an expert at both! I know his family... I know!). Anyway, I found a list of articles he wrote for Meridian Magazine. They are probably very similar to everything else he has written. I just really feel the spirit when I read the things he has written about marriage and parenting. I think there is a lot of truth in his suggestions. Sometimes you read stuff about parenting and you're like "Well... that might work in some circumstances, or for one child." Or you may say "That doesn't sound very Christlike." Or you might be confused altogether. But Bro. Goddard's suggestions and writing make me feel like "That's how Christ would do it if HE was parenting my kid!" I think the big thing about Bro. Goddard is that he doesn't really give you a bunch of different techniques for discipline, etc. He teaches you how to REALLY love your child and how to REALLY understand that they ARE a child of God. Not that any of us don't love our children, or don't think they are children of God - but some of us forget exactly what that means. Anyway, Bro. Goddard really puts some things in perspective. I feel like I am a better parent because of his teachings. All of them are in line with the gospel of Jesus Christ, so I don't feel that I can go wrong. And when I come across a certain parenting technique (for potty-training, discipline, etc) I like to weigh it against what Bro. Goddard has said, and then I know better whether it is a just and holy parenting principle, or just the world's way of "fixing" a problem.

So I got a little carried away there about Bro. Goddard - you can probably tell how much I REALLY like him :) I sure miss his institute class, that's for sure.

May Heavenly Father bless you in your righteous endeavors as parents!