alone

I'm alone... and I haven't got a letter from Russ in nearly a WEEK! What's wrong with that crazy head man! I'm writing him letters EVERY day, telling him how much I miss him and love him and he's out playing soldier and forgetting about his little family that wants to hold him and cuddle him and roll around and play horsies and tigers and monsters, and be thrown up in the air by him (obviously you know I'm not just talking about myself here). I miss Vincente's face when Russ plays with him. I miss Russ' smell. I miss his big strong hugs. I miss his prickly face (it's even prickly almost right after he shaves!). I miss hearing his motorcycle coming up the street. I even miss hearing his motorcycle leave for work at night! I miss missing him for a few hours, and then seeing him, and falling in love all over again. I miss family prayers in Portuguese. I miss cooking together. I miss getting myself cute for him, knowing that he's going to look at me that way and tell me how beautiful I am. I miss holding his hand while we take Vincente on walks. I miss hearing him sing lullabies to Vincente at night. I miss resting my head on his chest while we're watching movies. 

Okay! Enough. We're going to see him in less than 2 months... but it seems forever away! and then he's gone AGAIN! I guess we'll probably see him on Thanksgiving and at Christmas... but I just can't wait to live close to him again. It's not so much that there is an empty place in my heart as it is like something has been stretched out of my heart and is still attached, but is very far away and is pulling and pulling at me. And I want it back. Right now. I feel like stomping my foot and pouting. 

I want my Russellhead.