The End of the Rope

I'm at the end of my rope... I hate being alone (that is - I hate being away from Russ). Everything was beating down on me so hard that I did something I thought I would never do... I asked to be released from my calling. I think it will be better for the ward if they have a choir director for Christmas who can give it their all. Right now I don't feel like I can give anything my all, and when I feel like I can give something my all again, it will be my family.

I had to take a look at my priorities and remember that not only can I NOT do everything, but Heavenly Father doesn't EXPECT me to do everything. There is not enough energy in my body right now to be a mom, be a wife, be a student, be a choir director, be a friend, be a sister, be a daughter, and do all of them amazingly. Right now I am going to focus on being a mother and wife, and everything else I'm going to put on hold for about two weeks (that's when we'll be with Russ again for "good" - I use quotes here because I'm sure we'll have to be apart again, but it's the end of this round of separation). 

So, if you need anything, get back to me in two weeks. Because I'm starting to learn how to say "no" more often, even though I would rather help. I'm just not able to do it all right now. It's making me sick. Literally. I am actually physically fatigued and sick because of all the stress. Now I'm saying "good-bye" to the stress and taking the next two weeks one minute at a time, because that's all I can really do.