Monday, October 31

All Hallows

Our ward does a Trunk or Treat every year on Halloween.

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This year posed a problem.
Halloween was on Monday night.

Why is that such a problem? you ask.

Here’s why:

Monday nights are reserved for family home evening throughout the Church. No Church activities, meetings, baptismal services, games, or practices should be held after 6:00 p.m. on Mondays. Other interruptions to family home evening should be avoided. An exception may be made when New Year’s Eve is on a Monday.

That’s straight from the Church Handbook of Instructions. No ward activities on Monday nights.

However, somehow our ward got special permission (from the Stake Pres? From President Monson?) to do the Halloween chili cook-off and Trunk or Treat on a Monday night! I think it helped that the entire partay is in the parking lot. And the fact that it’s probably one of the biggest non-member/less actives drawing event. Everyone in the neighborhood comes (and brings chili) – even people who never come to Church on Sundays (or any other day of the week). DSCN6104I also think that a lot of neighborhood kids who are in other wards come and start their trick or treating out in our church parking lot. It’s safe, fun, and you get a warm bowl of chili! Plus, we usually start at 6pm and it’s not quite dark yet.

Keeping with tradition, we were about 30 minutes late (last minute costuming, last minute chili preparations… you know, the usual).

Last year we made the mistake of taking the kids on our street after the Trunk or Treat. Duh – all the people at the houses were the same folks at the Trunk or Treat. So this year we got smart and went to the neighborhood on the other side of the main road. The kids made it up one side and down half of the other side of one street (probably about 1/8 of a mile – which is pretty good for little ones!)

Toward the end, J’s bucket got so heavy she couldn’t carry it anymore! And by the last few houses, Papai was carrying her. But she really enjoyed everyone doting on her and gushing over her costume. J the paper doll. A costume that cost under $1. Score.

We also had one of those scary car-almost-running-over-small-trick-or-treater experiences with V. They had just scored some candy at a house with a very big, but gentle, Mast-weiler (Mastiff/Rottweiler mix – one of the most beautiful dogs I have seen!) and we were headed back down his walkway to cross his driveway to the sidewalk when a chick comes ripping into the driveway. V was already making his way to the sidewalk. I don’t think she saw him, but we yelled at him, and he took off toward their garage, away from the car. We were all freaking out, but there were no injuries, and after some great big hugs, we were all fine.

When we got home and started getting ready for bed, I was asking J if she had fun trick or treating. Of course she had fun. Here is the rest of our conversation:

  Me: What did you say when you went to the houses?
J: Trick or treat!
Me: And what did you get?
J: Candy!
Me: And then what did you say? (expecting her to say “Thank you” – my favorite part about trick or treating is getting to practice manners!)
J: Strawberries!

Me: …

Okay. Well, we’ll work on that.

Thursday, October 27

The Hearts of the Children

Every few years, the descendents of my grandmother and grandfather (Joseph Theron Smith and Neva Almira Harper) get together for a huge family reunion. There are 10 living children of Joseph and Neva, all with spouses, and somewhere around 40 grandkids (with the number of great-grandkids skyrocketing).

DSCN5240This summer we had a little “mini” reunion (I put mini in quotes because even our “small” reunions are still big…) Because the weather was horribly hot this summer we went up to the little fountain pools at Nelson’s Grove park in Orem. We had actually had a potluck picnic behind my aunt’s stake center and the kids needed an escape from the heat, so we walked over to the park. The kids (and some of the older “kids”) got in the water and splashed around.

DSCN5221I always love being with my Smith family. I think every single one of my Smith relatives is a kind hearted, loving, decent person who wants to help each other in every way they possibly can. Sure, as with every family there are miscommunications, mix-ups, and disagreements, but I feel like everyone tries to handle them pretty civilly, and no one really holds any grudges.

One of the nights we had a “girl cousin’s sleepover” – we’ve really gotta come up with a better name! Anyway, it was a lot of fun, and I really enjoyed getting to know my girl cousins better, especially the somewhat younger ones (like these two lovely ladies here). It’s really fun that we can all be so close and have so much fun together. I feel like I have instant friends in my cousins, even if we don’t see each other very frequently.

Some of the younger kiddos having a blast in the water.

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We got everyone to run around the wading pool in a line. This is the beginning of it. The picture at the top is the middle. I wish I had a better camera so we could have got a better shot – but it was still fun.DSCN5239

Monday, September 19

No Pumpkins

Friday night was the military ball. After several (2-3?) hours of unsuccessful dress hunting that morning, I decided to go with a black stretchy skirt and a pretty comfortable top. Thankfully Jenna is staying with us and offered to do my hair and makeup, and added a flower to my outfit. And convinced me that I shouldn’t wear flats to a ball (although after all that dancing I was wishing I had stashed a pair of flip-flops in my purse).

The dinner was pretty good, the entertainment was John Schmidt(!!), and the dancing was a lot of fun. I think the band being named Article 15 made it ever more fun. They played good music, we had good friends to dance with, and they even gave away prizes (a few gift cards, some iPod shuffles and TWO Kindles! Unfortunately we didn’t win anything, boo – but the fact that they gave away such cool prizes was pretty awesome).

All in all, it was the best night out we’ve had in a while. (Thanks for watching the kiddos, Jenna!!) We got back just before midnight (so no turning into pumpkins!), and then Russ had to go to a 0700 formation the next morning for the parade. He made it, but just barely – and was super tired all day. But I like to think it was worth it!

DSCN5791Doesn’t my Lieber (my Love) look so handsome! Although I have to say I prefer dress blues. But that’s perfect, because if he gets promoted, he can get dress blues! Woohoo! And hopefully soon there will be SGT (sergeant) patches on his sleeves instead of those SPC (specialist) patches. Within the next year he will probably have warrant officer (or officer) ranks on his uniform. I am so proud of my hubby! He is such a good soldier and such a smart man, and I just adore him!

And just because Vincente is so cute:

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A Day for the Governor

This weekend was a big one for us! Friday night was the military ball, Saturday was Governor’s Day, Sunday was my first day teaching Relief Society in our new ward, and Monday is the E4-E5 promotion board!

The military ball will get it’s own post, and maybe I’ll post over on My Soul Delighteth about teaching Relief Society.

Saturday morning Russ had to be at formation at Camp Williams at 0700 (for those of you who don’t speak military, that’s 7:00 am – and we live about 20-30 min away from Camp Williams, depending on traffic). We had stayed at the ball until about 2300 (again, that’s 11:00pm) dancing to Article 15 (the UT National Guard’s band). So we didn’t get home until around midnight. I don’t even remember what time Russ got out of bed, but I don’t think he left until around 0630. I won’t ask him how fast he drove (he took his motorcycle) but he ended up getting there on time.

On time for some waiting. They had a formation at 0700 and then released every body until they had to form up again around 0930 for the parade. If you are unfamiliar with the Army (or the military in general) their motto is “Hurry up and wait.” You might think that it is “Army of one” or some such nonsense, but it really is “Hurry up and wait.” That’s what they always do. Form up and then wait for forever for nothing. Or something. But they have to wait. Wait wait wait wait. But you better be on time to wait.

I didn’t get to Camp Williams until about 1005, a few minutes after the parade started, but I think all we missed was a prayer and maybe the national anthem or something. We got there just as Governor Hubert was speaking. We had to park all the way in the farthest north corner of Camp Williams, but the army was cool and picked us up with a van and dropped us off right by the parade. On our way down to the parade grounds three C-130s did a fly over. They were pretty close to the ground, and the kids got a kick out of it (Joseline thought it was a little loud).

We got to the parade grounds and found a seat just about in time to watch the soldiers parade around.

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Now, a military parade is not like a Fourth of July parade or a Homecoming parade. Basically the soldiers form up with their companies and in their units, and in their battalions, and they march past the Governor and salute him so he can “inspect” them. I’m sure he doesn’t really do much inspecting. He probably just smiles and looks pretty for the cameras. Mostly a military parade is just for show – but it is a cool show, and a powerful representation of our military. There were so many troops there. It was the entire Utah National Guard – Army and Air Guard. It was crazy. The Guard also had three Black Hawks fly over during part of the parade (just before the Air Guard marched by, I believe). The kids loved that, too.

I didn’t get a good picture of Russ because I was too busy trying to point him out to Vincente. By the time I remembered that I need to take pictures, I had to take them of the back of his head.

Russ was the third from the front on the second row.
You can see his beret where the arrow is pointing.

The band was great, and the soldiers looked fabulous.

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After the “parade” they had a fair type thing where all the units and battalions sold food and the Guard put up a zip line and a bounce house. DSCN5799They also had a lot of booths advertising all of the services the military has for families. I signed up for the FRG for our unit, talked to some Military OneSource folks, and got information on the local Family Assistance Center. We also signed up for the Enlisted Association of the National Guard. Apparently they are the people who lobby our politicians to keep the benefits for the Guard soldiers.

DSCN5811They also had an Apache helicopter and a Black Hawk medic helicopter the kids could get around, touch, and (for the Black Hawk) get in.DSCN5809 The Apache folks were a little more touchy about the kids getting in the cockpits – but I think that’s because Apaches have guns, and the Black Hawk didn’t. The pilots were all really nice and talked to us about their helicopters.

Vincente loved being the helicopters and decided that he is going to join the army and fly helicopters when he gets “big like Papai.” Cute kid. I told Russ that I secretly hope that Vincente will join the National Guard when he is old enough. No matter what else he chooses to do for a career, I would absolutely love for him to be a citizen-soldier!

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DSCN5823The last thing we did was head over to the 19th Special Forces Group’s tent where Vince tried his hand at a paintball gun. He was actually doing pretty well. He was aiming. Russ said Vince couldn’t figure out just how to use the scoping bars (or whatever Russ called them) because he was consistently hitting the wrong spot so he probably had the target through part of the scope and not the whole thing. Anyway, after hitting a few targets and some unsuccessful attempts at shooting the rest he told Russ he was done, so Russ finished out – left handed. And of course took each one out in one shot.

DSCN5825DSCN5814Joseline mostly sat in her stroller and enjoyed a cookie. She tried the bouncy obstacle course but ended up getting stuck. She liked the helicopter, but I think what she liked most of all was being with Papai. She’s super attached to that guy.

Saturday, September 17

Blogger Stats

I think I just might REALLY LOVE the new blogger interface, complete with all it’s descriptive stats. Because sometimes I feel like no one reads this blog, but now I can see all you blog-stalkers who come around but never comment ;) It’s okay, I don’t comment on your blogs either, so I’m not offended. But it’s nice to see that people actually do read my blog sometimes!

Thanks, blog-stalking friends!

I will try to blog-stalk you more often!

Monday, September 12

Lame Excuses for Lame Blogging

Are you ready for a bunch of lame excuses for why I haven’t been blogging here lately? Okay, here goes.

1.) I have been spending a lot of time on my other blogs, particularly My Soul Delighteth – because I love reading the scriptures, mostly. But partly because I am lazy, and also because it is hard to write about my boring, sometimes really hard life, especially when I could just write about how much I love the gospel instead.

2.) Life has been hard. It has been up and down, like most people’s live are, but our downs are really really really far down. And I don’t like that. I like normal ups and downs – not normal ups and depressingly horrible downs. Thankfully we can fix the horrible downs, and we’re working on it.

3.) DSCN5291 These little stinkers take up a lot of time – and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love them, I love being with them, and I love teaching them about our Savior and this beautiful world.

 

 

 

4.) We’ve been doing a little bit of vacationing this summer (I will post about these trips, I promise… it might just be in a few months. Ha ha, no just kidding. I will be caught up by my birthday – promise). DSCN5402We drove to the top of a 14,000 ft tall mountain in Denver. Mt. Evans. It was beautiful and I gained a new appreciation for the beauty that is in this world. And for my son’s … fearlessness. Seriously. It was like the kid wanted to jump off the side of the mountain. As if that would actually be fun. Something about the thin air and all the rocks must have set him off. (PS We did a bunch of other stuff in Denver, too – stay tuned for a cool post complete with pictures!)

DSCN55595.) Then there was a camping trip with our old friends from Monterey – Gabe and Noah – and Russ’ little brother, Jordan. The kids had so much fun. I’m amazed none of them got eaten by bears. Just kidding. But they kept running off into the woods (of course). It was a ward campout with our neighborhood ward and it was really nice to get to meet a lot of them, especially since we recently made the decision to start attending our neighborhood ward. (more about that later, too…)

6.) And then we spent a week in Puerto Rico. It was like a second honeymoon. And fabulous.

Maybe they aren’t so lame excuses. We did have a lot of fun this summer! I can’t believe it’s already September!

Well, between now and the end of September I hope to get caught up on all the blogging. It’s going to be crazy, but I think I can do it!

In the meantime, I hope you enjoyed my readers’ digest version of the summer.

You can keep tabs on me over at My Soul Delighteth and Math Savers. And hopefully I’ll be catching up over at Child’s Play, too.

Sunday, August 28

Second (er, first?) Honeymoon

(sorry in advance for this super long post – but I think it will be worth it for you to read!)

Our first honeymoon was to McCall, ID where we stayed in a friend’s cabin (for freeeee) and were going to go to Brundage (see picture below) for some fun snowboarding and enjoying each other’s company.Well, unfortunately for us, December 2005 was not very snowy in Idaho, and McCall was not as much of a winter wonderland as perhaps it should have been. Therefore we elected to spend all our time staying in the cabin making yummy food and… well, you know, hanging out.

Then on our way home to spend Christmas with our families, our car broke down as we drove down the road out of McCall and we ended up spending the night in the bunk house of the cabin (another family had already took up residency in the cabin for Christmas – but they were friends of Russ, too, so it wasn’t totally awkward).

Thanks to a lot of really nice people, we ended up with our car in Boise, and us finally sleeping on my in-law’s couch at 5am Christmas morning.

Needless to say, our honeymoon was not very… honeymoon-ish.

So when Russ told me to book a flight to Puerto Rico for the second week he was going to be there for a Spanish language immersion trip, it was like a second chance for our honeymoon.

Since the hotel was paid for by Russ’ work, we only had to pay for my ticket to get down there. It wasn’t too expensive, even though we bought the tickets last minute, and I think that we might just have to take a trip to Puerto Rico again sometime. It was really fun.

DSCN5566We stayed in a Marriot Courtyard hotel right on the beach in Northern Puerto Rico, just outside San Juan. The entire beach was mostly hotels, and some apartment buildings (I think the building in the left side of this picture is an apartment building). The Marriot was really nice – they even had a poolside bar. I spent most of my time lounging on the beach and reading while Russ was in classes, and then in the afternoons and evenings we got to go out exploring.DSCN5571

2011-08-22 15.32.27 Hurricane Irene made an appearance the day before my flight arrived in Puerto Rico, so our adventures were a little more… adventurous. It rained a lot because of the hurricane. Apparently the weather had been great the week before I got there, and then after the hurricane it was mostly cloudy and rainy all week long. But that didn’t stop us from having a swell time. There was also damage all over the island that was still being cleaned up. Not to mention all the power failures.IMG_0729 I think we only saw a few working traffic lights while we were there. More often than not, the traffic was horrible (which I learned was not necessarily because of the hurricane – it was more because of how Puerto Ricans drive) and one intersection we were stuck in for a while because none of the lights were working and I think it was the intersection for people getting on and off the highway.

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To keep myself entertained I took a lot of pictures of the beach and the waves. I won’t bore you by posting all of them here. Our hotel was really close to the airport, so you could always see (and hear) planes taking off right by the resort. The water was pretty cold because of the hurricane, but Russ told me it had been really warm the week before. Apparently the hurricane brought cold water with it – or churned up the colder water from the deeper parts of the ocean. Regardless, it was a lot of fun to play in the ocean. The salty water reminded me of living in Monterey and visiting the ocean there. I love the ocean, and I was really glad to visit it, even if it was cold (it wasn’t nearly as cold as the ocean in Monterey! Even “cold”)

One afternoon after class, Russ told me to meet him on the beach for a surprise. I was super excited, because I love surprises! He took me down the beach a little way to a guy at a makeshift looking booth with life jackets strung up between two palm trees. Obviously I knew what we were going to be doing as soon as I got there. Jet skis! Woo hoo!

DSCN5703Well, that’s what I thought until I got on the thing. It freaked me out. I was puttering along when Russ (who was sitting behind me the whole time) took hold of the accelerator and showed me how to ride that thing. I was screaming probably the whole time, “You’re going to kill us! We’re going to drown! Don’t make us crash! AAH!!!” After a little while I realized that I was indeed not going to flip over (Russ told me that it was usually the small jet skis that flip over, and that you’re actually less likely to flip over when you are going fast – not sure if that is true or if he said all that just to get me more comfortable driving like a crazy person). It worked and I ended up making some pretty crazy waves and jumpin’ ‘em like a mad woman. It was super cool, and I am glad he got me out there and got me comfortable – because that is something I would never choose to do on my own. That’s one of the things I think I like the most about being married to Russ – he gets me out of my comfort zone and shows me things that I would have never discovered without him. (disclaimer: the picture above was taken after our ride – we did indeed ride with life vests on. I promise)

DSCN5699We spent a lot of evenings playing in the pool with the other wives who had come out. The hot tub was really nice, and the pool was comfortable (although I spent most of my time in the hot tub – I don’t really like cold water). Russ likes to swim, but me? Not so much. I like to relax in a hot tub, and that’s about it.

DSCN5601Lest you think we were beach bums the whole time, we wives went on a tour of old San Juan with the guys (this was part of the language immersion program). We went to the old Spanish fortresses, and also walked around downtown old San Juan as well.

The old castle was definitely my favorite. In fact, when I first got to Puerto Rico I saw these cool looking turret things on everyone’s license plates and I told Russ, “If we have time, I would love to go there!” I also told him I wanted to go to a fresh market place and buy some mangos and avocadoes and all those other yummy things you can’t really buy in the states (especially not in the mountainous desert). While in Puerto Rico, I ate the most scrumptious mangoes (probably 4 or 5 of them in the 6 days I was there), star fruit (delish!), avocadoes (who knew, they're supposed to be bright green when they are ripe!), and don’t forget the monfongo (mashed plantain) and churrasco (grilled steak – yum yum yum). I think I ate the best I have ever eaten. Makes my mouth water just thinking about it.

DSCN5618Back to that castle. Because I am a sucker for history and museums, I really enjoyed myself. It was interesting to learn a little more about the history of Puerto Rico – how it was so important to people trying to trade in the Americas because it was really the first “civilized” place between the Eastern and Western hemispheres. After all that water it sure was a nice place to land.

DSCN5649We also learned that San Juan is going to be using the old water collection system that the Spaniards built at the fort. They are in the process of updating it and getting it ready for their own use. I think that’s the smartest thing I’ve ever heard of. Of course, conservation of both history and natural resources are some important things to me, so it’s neat to see a city doing both! Using their history to conserve natural resources. Smarties.

DSCN5675Of course, the best part of being there was getting to spend “grown-up” time with Russ. We’ve had kids since we were married (practically – Vince was born a year after we were married) and we’ve been doing to school or moving across the country with all this military stuff. It was really nice to settle down for a while, and the trip to Puerto Rico for some time away was icing on the cake. Yummy yummy icing. This is my favorite picture from the trip. We were getting kind of bored (and tired of walking around) on the San Juan tour, so we stopped to take some smooching pictures. I think this one turned out the best.

DSCN5724“But wait! There’s more!” Russ wasn’t done with his surprises. The last day we were in Puerto Rico, he took me on the longest drive ever (seriously, I thought the actual driving through Puerto Rico was the “surprise” part…) and we finally ended up in this backwater, run down fishing town I later realized was on the far north east tip of Puerto Rico. Still having no idea what we were going to be doing (but assuming it had to do something with kayaks because there were kayaks everywhere at this little park where we stopped) we had some yummy fish, and shark, and other yummy foods at the little fish restaurants and stands at the park.

After dinner, we had a little kayak safety training and learned that we were going to kayak through a itsy bitsy canal to a mostly land-locked bay called “Bioluminescent Bay” where these little organisms live that light up when you move them! I don’t have any pictures because it was dark, and my camera is not very good at taking pictures in the dark. Now I am thinking I probably could have done a video. The glowing organisms weren’t super bright, but I bet I could have shot a video. It was fun to splash the water onto my shorts because it looked like I was throwing glitter on my legs. With every stroke of the oars, the water would light up. It was really magical. I thought I was going to get eaten by a snake or capsize in the canal when we were going back and forth from the bay, but it was really not too bad.

Here is a good video that shows what it was like. The glow was more green than blue (the video makes it look blue, but that’s probably the camera)

It was a fabulous trip, with memories made that will last forever. We’re going to have to make sure we take some “all by ourselves” trips more often! It’s so easy to get caught up in every day and forget to get out and do something special with your spouse. Gotta love that big hunka man!   

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This is a picture of Russ in the rainforest the week before – this is probably the only thing I would have wanted to do and didn’t get to. I guess we really will have to plan another trip to Puerto Rico!

Wednesday, August 24

Puerto Rico – Finally a Vacation

Last time Russ and I went “away” without the kids was when Joseline was about 5 months old and my sister (thanks, Sisty!) flew out to CA and watched the kiddos so we could go on a military marriage retreat in Santa Cruz. Scratch that – we did spend a night in a resort hotel in Tucson, AZ last summer. But that was just one night, and we didn’t do anything really spectacular. Santa Cruz was the last REAL vacation. And that was over two years ago.
We were definitely overdue for a vacation.
My flight got in to Puerto Rico on Tuesday morning at 2:30 am. Russ picked me up, took me back to the hotel, we slept for a while, then he left for class around 8 am. And I kept sleeping. In fact, I slept until noon. It was crazy! Then I got up, ate some cereal, and put on my running clothes. I had a great run on the beach, it wasn’t too warm because of Hurricane Irene, and it was overcast. The sand was pretty wet, too, so it wasn’t as hard to run on the wet, packed sand.
After my run, I showered quickly and Russ took me out to a market where he bought me a few dresses! I’ll have to take pictures when we go out dancing. The hotel has live salsa music in the lobby on Wed-Sat, and free Salsa lessons on Thursday nights. Guess where we’re going to be tomorrow night? I love dancing!
Shopping was fun, even though we had to drive back to the hotel in a flash flood (I have NEVER seen such horrible traffic!! Peurto Ricans are probably the worst drivers in the world). Plus half the street lights were out (they are still trying to fix power outages from the hurricane – although one store we went to said that their power outage had nothing to do with the hurricane. Sometime their power just goes out for no reason… What?)
So after we braved the floods in the little rental Kia, we decided we were starving (all the food places at the market had been closed – probably because of the power outages) but the only place open near the hotel was Burger King. Against my better judgment, I had a burger and fries. The fries were probably the worst idea yet. But i think today is better.
After that, we came back to the hotel and I switched my flights (effortlessly, might I add – Southwest and JetBlue… how do I love thee?) and talked about the things I had learned at Education Week last week at BYU. Russ also napped for a while, since he hadn’t slept in until noon. 
Then Russ’ buddy’s wife, Luzmary, flew in and we met them at Casa Dante for some delicious churrasco and monfongo. The meat melted in your mouth – it was even better than the Brazillian style churrasco at Rodizio’s/Tucanos (which I thought was some of the best grilled beef EVER). It was a fun experience to try the monfongo, and it was actually really good. It was a different flavor and texture than I had ever really had, but was kind of like a potato stuffing? Something like that. I will definitely have some more of that before we go home. And maybe some more of that steak stuff. If anyone has food recommendations for Puerto Rico, let me know. I love eating locally when I am traveling (instead of Burger King… which wouldn't have been my first choice, except no one else was open.
After dinner we went in the hotel hot tub for a while (hot tubbing under palm trees? Yes please). Today I would like to try out the little “in-pool” bar. Virgin, of course. But it just looks like so much fun! After the hot tub we went out and walked down the beach. I would like to say we walked in the moonlight, but it was still mostly overcast, so it was more like a walk in the dark. A few stars were out, and the ocean was pretty calm. It was really nice. And the water was so warm. A HUGE difference from that freezing cold beach in Monterey, CA. After the walk down the beach, we sat on a hammock on the beach and talked some more. Talking feels so good, and I feel like we haven’t been able to talk much in the last year or so. Things have been so stressful, and I think that we have been holding a lot in. It’s great to be able to reconnect away from everything.
Oh, and on our way back to the hotel we stopped at a little local grocery story and I bought some locally grown produce! A star fruit (which I couldn’t resist and ate in the car on the way home!), some bananas, and a mango. I ate one of the bananas for breakfast, and the mango I’ll probably eat later. Russ bought me an avocado which I plan on eating today for lunch. It is HUGE. I’ll probably have to share it with him.
Today we’re going to Old San Juan, so hopefully I’ll have lots of pictures for my next post. Right now all I’ve got are pictures of the view from our hotel room (on the top floor!)
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I forgot to take my camera out with us yesterday, but I’m remembering today!
Check back tomorrow for more pictures!

Sunday, August 14

A Year Ago Today

I was doing about this same thing – fighting tears (not putting up a very good fight, I should add…) and mourning the passing of my oldest brother – my hero, my idol, the man I wished desperately that I could have better understood. How I wished I could have known how he felt about him, and how I wished I could adequately express my love for him.

I don’t know if he knew. But I hope he knows now.

Ironically, on this day a year ago, Russ was also gone for the military, and I mourned my brother alone. Today, he is also gone on a military assignment, and I am yet again alone in my sorrow.

But not entirely alone.

My family remembers him this day, and I am sure there are more tears that just mine as we remember, painfully, the day our brother, son, husband, and friend was taken from us so quickly.

There are so many questions.
Not nearly enough answers.

And time goes on, life goes on, nothing is the same for long. Even the pain is not as sharp as it was a year ago, and yet it is still there, surfacing every now and then to puncture my careless days.

My dad made a tribute video for Ross and I want to share it here.

And now, I just want to repost what I wrote a year ago, because I feel like if I don’t keep reading it and telling it, I will forget. I wish that I had more memories with and about Ross. I feel like they slip so easily through my fingertips. And I am left with a gaping hole in my heart where those memories should be warming my soul.

My Post from a year ago, today:

Ross Richard Werner passed away Saturday, August 14, 2010 in the presence of his wife Jane, father, sister Christy, brother-in-law Adam, and other friends and family. His passing leaves a very large hole in my heart, and I am aching with the desire to say more, do more, and be more to and for him.

I am actually writing this on Friday, August 6, 2010.

Two weeks before it will post.

I’m not ready to face what is coming, and so... like anyone else, I’m denying it will happen, and pretending it won’t, until it’s too late.

Yesterday we talked with my oldest brother, Ross, on Skype.

He beat brain tumors and swelling from a fall, and is getting stronger every day in rehab.

Meanwhile, the tumors in his chest are growing and growing.

The doctors have given him a timeline – weeks, maybe a few months.

Probably more like weeks.

They gave him a choice to do some more chemo, but it won’t help, they say.

 

So, I’ve booked a flight to Seattle to see my brother. Probably for the last time.

I would like to tell you my story about my brother.

 

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Ross

from my perspective

Growing up, I loved my brother. I wanted to be just like him. I wanted his stuff. I wanted his friends. I wanted his talents (he is so talented!). In fact, when I started junior high – I wanted to even dress just like him. Big baggy pants and big baggy shirts (what was I thinking? I got a little smarter the next year, and realized that I could be like my brother without sacrificing fashion).

Ross played the violin. Really well. I wanted to play the violin just as well as him. So I practiced every day until my fingers were raw. I even tried to get into the BYU Music School. No one made me love music more than Ross (except maybe my mother – but he got it from her, too). Ross played the piano. Really well. I wanted to play the piano really well, too. I didn’t practice all the time. Piano and I have never really gotten along, as far as practicing-to-get-good goes. But I do enjoy playing. Then Ross learned how to play the guitar and got good. I wanted to play the guitar, too. So I practiced every now and then.

Ross was great with computers. He even taught me about RAM once when I was in high school, or maybe college. He showed me how to install new RAM in a computer. I developed a new level of admiration for my brother. He is so smart! My interest in computers at all is because of Ross. I wanted to learn some programming languages. I wanted to learn how to build my own websites. I wanted to learn how to fix computers and mess with them and stuff. I even wanted to learn how to use Linux (which I did, sort of, for a while... but then I got lazy... er, had kids).

Ross loves to read. He loves music. He loves to learn. He loves to play games (my love of European board games? From Ross). My love of reading? Ross. My intense desire to Google anything that I don’t understand? Ross.

Probably the only things Ross didn’t inspire me to do is read my scriptures, pray regularly, run, and eat healthy. That was Janie (his wife).

I hold him on this pedestal (and Janie goes right beside him on it). And I don’t think he knows that. Really, all I want to be I want to be because of my brother. Because he is such a great example of hard work, honesty, learning, knowledge, having fun, and being a good person.

I plan on telling him all these things (and more) when I get to see him in person.

I hope it doesn’t sound too cliché – making amends with him as he’s dying. I would have said these things before, but I never knew the right words to say, and I worried that he wouldn’t want to hear it. But now it doesn’t matter if he wants to hear it. There are no bridges to be burned. There won’t be another chance. If I want him to hear it, I need to tell him now.

That is my story about how much I love my brother.

Saturday, August 13

the great outdoors

Even though we weren’t officially attending our English ward at the time, we still went on our ward campout out in Spanish Fork Canyon.

Our friend Jenna had just got into town with her two boys, so we offered to take them with us. Vince loved having some other boys to play with, and Gabe and Noah loved being outdoors and exploring (basically all the boys in the ward wandered around finding sticks and playing whatever games little boys like to play – warriors, army men, etc). Russ’ little brother Jordan also came down with us. We were super surprised that his mom let him come – but it was so awesome to have him with us! He’s an awesome kid and was really helpful with the younger kids and with keeping the campsite clean and pitching tents – and really anything that we needed him to help with.

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DSCN5554 The recreation area had a zipline that our ward got to monopolize for the most part on Friday afternoon. Gabe loved it, and to our surprise (and delight!) Vincente went on it, too! Twice! He is such a little stud. It might have helped that his friend Nick went down several times as well. I even went down once. It was pretty crazy.

Joseline had a good time playing with Nick’s little sister Miriam. The camp area was great for the kids – it wasn’t near any water or cliffs or anything, so we could just let the kids play without having to worry too much. And the older kids in the ward helped keep an eye out on all the little ones. We even brought Doc (apparently dogs weren’t allowed, we found out later, but we kept him on his leash for the most part and he really enjoyed being in the great outdoors! And everyone was really sweet to him).

IMG_0722 We built a bonfire down by our campsite, and our wonderful neighbors (our real neighbors who live behind us) were also our neighbors at the campout and they shared some really yummy dinner with us – BBQ pork and funeral potatoes all in dutch ovens. There’s something about cooking food in a dutch oven when you’re camping that is just right. In the morning the ward did pancakes, eggs, bacon, the works for breakfast.

As you can see, these two really enjoyed the trip. It was fun to get to know more of the ward members, and I think going on this campout helped us decide to switch wards. So far we haven’t regretted it!DSCN5559