Saturday, July 16

Finally, It Works

If you’re like me, you like to budget.

But if you have a husband like mine, you know that the budget thing has to be really simple, fool-proof, and funds have to be protected. I’m not saying Russ is a frivolous spender, because he isn’t, but his idea of budgeting is “Do we have  money in our account? Okay, then let’s go spend it.”

We have tried every method of budgeting (it seems like it, anyway!).

Don’t believe me? Since we got married we’ve tried:

- a paper spreadsheet printed out each month
- this book, Debt-Free on Any Income (which came with a CD rom of lots of fun spreadsheets)
- The Church’s “One for the Money” book complete with budgets, get-out-of-debt plans, etc.
- Quicken (too complicated, and too many features)
- Budget Map (actually a really cool idea, but it wouldn’t work with one checking account and one spouse who would never write anything down…)
- mvelopes (an online envelope system that really worked for a while, but cost us every month… how’s that for counter productive!)
- Budget (a program from Snowmint CS, which was actually pretty useful, too, but not as “automated” as mvelopes, and since we were moving from mvelopes to this program, it was just too much work).
- Dave Ramsey’s “Deluxe Envelope System” – which would be great if Russ was doing the shopping, but I spend cash way too easily (easier than using my debit card, if you can believe it)

All the trial and error was actually pretty good because we discovered a lot of things about our money habits:
1.) We don’t like to keep track of every single tiny purchase. We are not normally frivolous spenders, we have a pretty good grasp of “need” and “want” and we don’t spend emotionally. We get what we need, and leave what we don’t. We eat whole, natural foods, so we don’t buy crap at the grocery store. We don’t like keeping pieces of paper around, and we don’t like writing stuff down.
2.) I am not good at using cash. Russ is really great at it. If I give him a bunch of cash, he’ll end up with almost as much cash a month later. He seriously doesn’t spend cash. If you give me cash, I’ll spend it all at once instead of rationing. And then I don’t have any more cash, and I can’t get the things we need, because I spent all my cash. I guess I feel like because cash is “untraceable” I can spend it on whatever, instead of on things we actually need.
3.) We like to have all our bills automated.
4.) When we have less money, we spend less money.
5.) I like to plan out every dollar for the month, but Russ likes to have a large “slush” fund (which he usually does not use).

So, after trying every different budgeting method under the sun, we’ve finally found a process we think will work for us:

First, we use my own budget I made up (based off the mvelopes budget that I absolute LOVED). It is just a spreadsheet, but it is crazy powerful and really helps us give every dollar a name. It checks our sums in three different ways, so we can always tell how we need to move things around to make the budget work. In one document, we can do our monthly budget, and budget each paycheck. It’s pretty awesome, if you ask me.

Second, we added a feature to our budget (which isn’t in the one I posted publicly, but I will update it soon) – we’ve color coded the line items. Bills that need to be paid are highlighted in yellow. Bills that have been paid or are pending in the checking account are marked with green. Once the money clears our checking account, we change the color to red. That way, if we’re wondering why there is extra money in our account, we can usually just check the budget. This is a great recording system for us.

Third, we recently added yet another feature to the budget because when our discretionary spending is mixed in the same checking account as our “bills” money, we sometimes end up spending that money.

Remember Russ’ method of “budgeting”? If there’s money in the account, we can spend it! So we decided to open a second checking account for our “discretionary” spending. This is all spending that isn’t programmed, automatic, or regular. Grocery money goes in this account, gas money, spending money, etc (it all goes in there because half the time we are “stealing” money from one category to use in another, which doesn’t bug us, as long as we eat and Russ can get to work). The only drawback to this was that we would probably spend all the money in the account right up front (remember me with the cash? I’m not that much better with the debit card). So instead of putting all the money from each paycheck in there, we set the budget spreadsheet up to calculate all the “descretionary” items each month, and divide that by 30, then multiply by 7, and that is how much money we transfer to the second checking account each Monday for four Mondays.

We’re still working out the math, but the idea behind this system is that we create “artificial scarcity” with our money. We “have” less money, so we spend less money.

It has taken five long years, but we finally have a budget system that is going to work for our family. And it doesn’t involve me spending several hours a day recording bank transactions, balancing checkbooks, and checking online accounts. It should be seamless and only require us to address the budget twice a month before pay day, and any time we need an emergency budget meeting.

Which means more time to hang out with the babies, blog, and live life.

That’s what I’m talking about.

Friday, July 15

Conversations with a 4 year old

Russ was laying with Vincente tonight at bedtime. Here’s how the conversation went:

Vincente: “Papai, you’re superly awesome.”
Papai: “You’re superly awesome, too.”

Papai: “Papai’s going to the other side of the world for a little bit.”
Vincente: “There’s lots of water over there so you can’t go over there.”
Papai: “Papai’s going to fly over the water in an airplane to some more land.”
Vincente: “Oh.”
(Joseline makes a ruckus)
Vincente: “Joseline’s really silly, huh?”
Papai: “Yeah, she’s like Mamãe.”
Vincente: “Yeah, Mamãe’s silly, but a little smart, too.”
Papai: “Like you.”
Vincente: “No. I’m a lot smart. I’m a lot of smart than you. I’m superly smart.”
Papai: “You are superly smart.” (trying to suppress the laughter)

Earlier Vincente and Joseline had been coloring in a Portuguese preschool workbook. Russ mentioned that Vincente doing the workbook pages must have boosted his confidence a little.

Ha. Just a little.

Thursday, July 14

Lightbulbs

I had an epiphany the other day. Let me catch you up on a few things, first.

Things have been crazy here. Sometimes good crazy, sometimes bad crazy. I feel like I’m always writing that on here – my life is crazy. Well, it is.

DSCN5076And I have been struggling a lot with feeling like I am doing a much as possible in the day. Most days I get to bedtime and I wonder where on earth the day went, and how on earth I didn’t get the laundry done, the dishes washed, and the bathrooms spotless. Because I stay home all day, and don’t have any obligations outside of my family, I feel like I should be able to be super mom at home – super spotless house, great meals cooked, clean laundry folded and put away, not to mention spending hours playing with my children, reading to them, and going places with them.

Well, here was my epiphany. There are not that many hours in a day, and when most of them are punctuated by unexpected messes, potty accidents, and children fighting, they seem to get used up a lot faster.

Picture 35I have always tried not to have too high of expectations for a clean house and home cooked meals because two small, very high energy children (if you know my kids, you know what I mean – touch touch touch touch, fight fight fight, talk talk talk talk talk, sound effects sound effects sound effects… it never ends. Seriously) make doing all that very hard, and I don’t want to spend my children’s entire childhood cleaning the house. I’d rather play with them, and the other stuff can wait. Sure I can teach them to clean with me – but honestly, that doesn’t really get stuff any cleaner because they make a bigger mess than they fix. But like I said, I’d rather do things with them and have a little bit dirty house because “babies don’t keep.”

  Back to my epiphany (that was only part of it) – I went though in my head what my day looks like. I wake up around 5:30 or 6 (on good mornings – i.e., when Russ hasn’t kept me up all night watching TV shows or movies or talking), so that I 2011-06-07 16.15.19can have a few hours (usually only one) to myself to prepare for the day – I usually spend this time reading the scriptures and writing on my scripture blog. Then the kids wake up and I feed them breakfast around 7:30 or 8. By 9am I have cleaned up breakfast, and have the kids dressed and ready for the day. Then around noon, we eat lunch, then we read together and I put the kids down for naps around 2pm. By the time Joseline wakes up (and Vincente, if he even napped) we eat dinner, and then it’s time for bed. So, If you look at things this way, the only time I have to do much of anything is in the morning, for about 3 hours. Sure I have nap time, and I do a few things, but I don’t really like to spend my kids’ down time doing things I could do when they are awake, like cleaning. I prefer to do things I can’t do when they are awake – like reading a good book, writing, or taking a quick nap, myself.

Sure, things will change as my children (and our family) grow, but right now this is how it is, and I think that if I can keep realistic expectations – that is, be okay with only having essentially 3 hours in the day to get things done, then I should be fine. In fact, the reason I’ve been doing so much better the past several days is because I have been okay with it, and I’ve been planning my days better to take advantage of those few hours. And I’m much happier.

When I am feeling down for not keeping the house spotless, my dad reminds me of this poem:

Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing, make up the bed,
Sew on a button and butter the bread.

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I’ve grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,
Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo

The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo
Look! Aren’t his eyes the most wonderful hue?
Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo.

The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.

(“Song for a Fifth Child” by Ruth Hulbert Hamilton, Ladies’ Home Journal October 1985)

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Wednesday, July 13

I Love to See the Temple

This year the Primary is singing “I Love to See the Temple” for the Sacrament Meeting Program.

Vincente didn’t like to sit with his class in Primary. He much preferred to sit with me at the piano (I am the Primary pianist in our Portuguese ward). So one Sunday as I was playing “I Love to See the Temple,” I looked down to see Vincente taking everything out of my bags and stacking things up. I asked him what on earth he was doing.

“I’m building a temple!”

IMG_0675 Look – Lightening McQueen is even going to the temple!

Saturday, July 9

Captain Moroni and the Standard of Liberty

DSCN5049In preparation for Independence Day (and because Vince love swords and fighting and armies and war…. son of a solider? I think so) we talked about Captain Moroni for Family Home Evening a few weeks ago. We even made our own standard of liberty. 

We re-enacted the scene of Moroni tearing his cloak and fastening it to a pole and talked about why he did it, and why they fought.

Then we talked about the founders of our country, what they did, and why they fought. We recited the Declaration of Independence (well, this part: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness”) and talked about George Washington and what the American flag means, and how it is like the standard of liberty that Captain Moroni made. We hung our standard of liberty and an American flag on the wall for a little while (until the tape failed and they fell down).DSCN5050

Playing soldiers wouldn’t be complete without making helmets and having swords. Russ has a super cool sword he got for Christmas when we were first married, and Vincente has his little foam sword Grandpa Victor got for him last summer (because Vince kept trying to use the knife sharpener for a sword…) and we made helmets out of boxes and tinfoil. They were awesome.

I’m glad we got to talk to Vincente about both the standard of liberty and the American flag and what they stand for. The kids love pointing out American flags (almost as much as they love pointing out the temple) and always tell me when they see one. We’re trying to teach our kids that there are times when fighting is okay – but it is only when we are protecting our freedom, our families, and our religion.

I am so grateful for the example of Captain Moroni – especially for my children because we are a military family. We can help them understand that their Papai is fighting for a reason – that we don’t just fight because we want to, we fight to preserve freedom – and freedom is indeed a very important thing to fight for.

Tuesday, July 5

4th of July

We enjoyed our first Independence Day in Utah! We live really close to the West Jordan city park so the city festivities were near by.
The city had a carnival of sorts at the park. There were little roller coasters, a bunch of kid rides, and of course a Ferris wheel (the horrible kind with the bucket seats instead of the bench seats. I hated it…)
The kids loved being there, though. And we even brought Doc. He loved being out and about with us. The kids went on a pony ride. They liked learning the names of the horses. I think Vincente was riding on “Rocky.” (that’s right, like Rocky Balboa – he got a kick out of that).
IMG_0655Later we had a BBQ with a bunch of friends and family. My sister and her husband were there, along with Russ’ grandma Carolyn and his Uncle Logan and his wife Vicky and their baby Valentino. Also in attendance was our good friends from BYU, Jorge and Rebecca Rosello. We love those guys so much and we were so excited to see them! (it’s been a while!) They brought their little munchkins Bella and Lessa (and one in the oven).
After the BBQ, we did some little fire crackers and fountains that we had bought. We let the kids do sparklers, too. We bought a huge pack of sparklers from Sam’s – we should have plenty for the next three or four Independence Days… DSCN5116
And of course we had glo-sticks! I think those were the biggest hits, especially after it got dark. We even put a bunch of them on Doc, who didn’t seem to mind the fireworks (apparently that is unusual for a dog – but he seemed to like them as much as the kids did!)
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Since we live so close to the city park we had a pretty good view of the fireworks just sitting in our driveway. It was really fun to be able to just sit in our driveway and enjoy the fireworks. We avoided traffic and everything! It was awesome. The display was pretty good. If I had a better camera I would have better pictures, but you’ll just have to accept and iPhone shot and a shot with my point-and-shoot for now. Someday  I’ll  have a DSLR and I’ll learn how to take photographs of fireworks. That will be cool.
IMG_0662 DSCN5121DSCN5146    Thanks for coming, everyone! We had a blast and we’re so grateful for such good friends and family!!

Monday, July 4

Good Men and a Great Country

 

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I wanted to write something about Independence Day this year, but I couldn’t really think of anything eloquent, so I’m including a picture of the kids so that this post isn’t a complete waste.

I am proud to be an American, and I am proud to be an Army wife.

People say that our country doesn’t have any business fighting in countries like Afghanistan and Iraq, and other Middle Eastern countries. I do agree with those who say there are things we need to fix inside our own country first, but really, our problems, serious as they may be, are not even close to the problems people face in other countries.

Some people are losing faith in the “American Dream” but I think what we have really lost is work ethic, determination, and personal accountability. As a people, we have forgotten what is important, we have forgotten how to get what is important, and we have forgotten that the best part of having something is sharing it.

I hope this year, on this Independence Day, we can re-evaluate our “American Dream” and what we  are doing, not only to achieve our dream, but to share it with others – all around the world.

And I also hope that we will continue to fight to protect our freedoms that we enjoy in this country, particularly religious freedom.

I feel so blessed to live in this, the land of the free, and the home of the brave.

Thursday, June 30

Bricked

Playing Legos with the kids...


Don't touch the outlet, Superman!!

I love these days. There won't be nearly enough of them. I am re-learning how to appreciate my children and every moment with them - being amazed by each thing they do and learn.




And then Rocky beat up Superman. Apparently Rocky is more than just an amazing boxer. Ha ha.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Wednesday, June 29

Potty Training Volume 2 Issue 3 - well, that was easy

Potty training is (almost) officially done. In basically one day. She still hasn’t pooped in the potty (she’s done it twice in her undies) but I think that is just a matter of me paying better attention, and her getting used to doing it on the potty. It’s a lot of new stuff for one stinker to learn! And she’s done SO well!

Picture 1

We’re doing the potty-every-half-hour routine, and so far she’ll go right away by herself to the potty and go pee. Her diaper was dry when she woke up this morning, and she went pee right away in the potty. She’s been dry all day (she doesn’t pee when she poops, and I think that is part of why it’s hard for her to learn to poo in the potty – she used to poop in a perfectly dry diaper before we started potty training).

I’m so grateful that it was so easy. I feel like I can go back to life as normal again. Things are going to get better. I know it.

Picture 35PS – the kids are so entertained in this picture because I took it with the webcam and they could see themselves on the computer screen. They thought that was hilarious. I LOVE these babies!!

Tuesday, June 28

Potty Training Vol 2 Issue 2

Why do I feel like I've done this before?




We originally started with Joseline back in February, but she was too stubborn (and I too impatient) for it to work. Maybe if had been more patient.... Anyway, the important part is that we had brains enough to stop. And then life happened (a LOT) and we had brains enough to know we should wait until things got a little less crazy (that is, we waited until I got a little less crazy - but that is another story entirely).

Now we're back at it - and we decided to do it kind of randomly yesterday.



So far (about and hour and a half) we're already to the timer phase - I set the timer for 10 min (I started with 15, but after she went to the potty herself(!) once before the timer rang I shortened the intervals to 10 min just to make sure it wasn't a fluke). I think she just wanted a cookie...

No accidents (yet - I'm prepared for it to happen, but crossing my fingers that it doesn't).

This second time around has been easier than Vincente ever was!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Monday, June 20

Motorcycle Family

When the weather is good, we like to ride on Papai’s motorcycle. Vincente has a DOT approved helmet we found at DI, so Russ will take him around the block (just on our neighborhood streets) and back.

Joseline had never been on a motorcycle before this picture was taken, and she freaked out. Russ was just letting them ride while he pulled the bike into the garage. Silly babies.

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When Russ and I go on dates, our preferred mode of transportation is the motorcycle is the weather is even half decent. Our favorite rides together were in California when we rode to Santa Cruz for a marriage retreat, and then our frequent rides to the movie theater in Monterey. That ocean air all around you, the smell of sea brine, the cool breeze – it was perfect. We miss that place a lot, and if we get a chance to go back we will in a heart beat!

Now our motorcycle dates are usually to the dollar theater in Sandy or West Valley.

Russ is such a responsible motorcycle driver, and so observant. I never worry about riding with him on his bike (ironically, I’m more scared riding with him driving a car than I am with him riding a bike…)

Buying that bike is probably one of the best decisions we ever made! And it’s paid for, which makes it that much sweeter.

Thursday, June 16

Teach Me How To Jimmer

Ahh…. Jimmer Fredette.
Well, when things got crazy with Jimmer Fredette, we had to watch a few games. I think we watched a few games leading up to March Madness, and then we watched the sweet sixteen game when they lost (you know, when Jimmer practically choked). Anyway, the games leading up to March Madness were fun, and Vincente quickly learned who Jimmer was.
I watched this music video with Vincente, and he quickly learned the “chorus”: “Teach me how to Jimmer, teach me, teach me how to Jimmer.” He was a Jimmer fan from the first time he knew who Jimmer was.
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A few days after seeing this video (and maybe watching a game or two) Vincente was out on the deck “shooting hoops” and ran to the door to tell me, very excitedly, “Look, Mamãe!! I’m Jimmer!!” and proceeded to carry the ball across the deck and dunk it.
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Later in the summer, the BYU Alumni magazine had a four-page fold out of Jimmer, and Vincente wanted to hang it on his wall.
It was there for a while until Joseline ripped it into a few pieces. Crazy child.

Wednesday, June 15

Back Again

Well, here I am, a month between posts again, with not really much desire to post anyway, but feeling like I should (since it’s been so long…)

Writing usually makes me feel better, but right now all I can think about it all the things that need to get done and haven’t in the past few days (weeks?).

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Basically I feel behind, overwhelmed, sick, and tired (allergies, anyone?). Blah.

Saturday, June 11

Neighborhood Fun Run

The first weekend of June is our neighborhood’s annual Fun Run. It’s free, fun, and mostly just for kicks.

IMG_0618

 

This is our first year to participate, but I am sure it won’t be our last. It was really a lot of fun to get out with our neighborhood, and the run was around our neighborhood, so it was perfectly safe for the kids.

They had a 1/2 miler, a 1 miler, and a 5K. I would like to do the 5K next year, but this year I just did the 1/2 miler with the kids.

This year the run was on a drill weekend, so Russ wasn’t there, but we had a blast anyway!

Vincente ran almost the entire 1/2 mile (I was so proud of him!) and I ended up carrying Joseline for most of the 1/2 mile – I figure that carrying a 20-something pound two-year-old would make up for the fact that it was only a 1/2 mile.

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Don’t you love it! And look at that Army haircut
(he wanted me to cut his hair like “Papai”)

IMG_0583Vincente at “parade rest” – don’t you love that serious “attention” look?
What a kid.

And then when people noticed his haircut he would say
“You can call me ‘Papai’”
Ba ha ha ha! Such a funny kid!!

Saturday, June 4

Backyard Campout

DSCN5016
We love camping. A lot. You wouldn’t know because we haven’t really ever been camping since we were married (other than the summer we spent in a cabin at Scout Camp – which was pretty much the most adventurous thing we have ever done).
Memorial Day weekend this year (2011) was the perfect opportunity for us to head out on a long awaited adventure. We were going to do it. It was going to be a blast. Then we looked at our budget. There was no way we could pay for a campground and gas to get there and still be able to pay the bills. Being the responsible (HA!) grown-ups we are, we decided to have a backyard campout.
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It ended up being perfect. The weather was fine (a little cold, but hey, camping out is about roughing it, so that was perfect). Our backyard was mostly a big level area of dirt, perfect for pitching a tent. So pitch a tent is what we did. Then we started up a fire and cooked tinfoil dinners, then roasted marshmallows for S’mores, and then stayed up late into the night eating horrible snacks around the campfire, simply enjoying one another’s company. Then we piled into our little tent (we have got to upgrade before we go on a real campout) and spent the night enjoying the outdoors in our backyard.DSCN4979 Doc stood guard over the campsite. And then slept in the tent with us. That sweet dog. We really like him!
Because I have lots of pictures about this campout, and not much to say, I have included recipes of the evenings food for your camping enjoyment!
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And remember, you don’t have to even leave your backyard to have an adventure! Camping can be super fun (and super cheap) if you just camp in your backyard. You can even invite a few neighbors over and pull out the guitar and ukulele (what we always did at family campouts) and sing some fun camp songs.  Don’t know any camp songs? Check out the LDS Young Women’s camp songs on the Church website. Or just do a Google search for camp songs. You won’t come up empty, I’m sure of it.
DSCN4997Tin Foil (aka “Hobo”) Dinnerspotatoes
carrots
onions
meat (ground beef, chicken, steak, whatever whets your appetite)salt
pepper
other seasonings as desired (we use seasoned salt and a little garlic powder – we love garlic!)butter
square pieces of tin foil
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DSCN5001Slice the veggies (potatoes, carrots, onions, and any other veggies you decided to use) very thinly. If desired, spray your tin foil with non-stick spray, then line with carrots, then potatoes, then onions, then meat, then layer it again, but backwards (onions, potatoes, carrots). Your meat should be surrounded on all sides by the veggies – otherwise your meat will get dry and your veggies will be crunchy. No one likes a hobo dinner that is crunchy. On each layer, sprinkle some of your seasonings, and add a little blob of butter.
DSCN4995Once you are finished layering your food, take two sides of the tinfoil and pull them together, forming a triangle with the tinfoil (your food is at the bottom of the tinfoil). Roll the top (where the ends meet) down until it is tight on top of the food. Then roll up the ends.
Throw your dinner on the hot coals. Let it cook about 5-10 minutes on each side (depending on the amount of veggies, etc). When it’s done, dump it all out on a plate and enjoy! DSCN5007
DSCN5008Campfire Cornenough ears of corn for everyone in your campsite (plus extras if you want to share with the neighbors) – do not shuck your corn
salt water

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Make a big bucket or bowl of cold salt water and soak your (unshucked) corn for a few hours (we only let ours soak for about an hour and a half, and that was fine). About five minutes or so after you put your Hobo dinners on the coals, set your unshucked ears of corn on the coals as well. DSCN5012Turn the corn constantly – every few minutes or so – until the husks start looking cooked. It probably will only take about 5 minutes to cook the ears of corn. Take them off the coals and let them cool for a minute (probably about as long as it takes you to unwrap your Hobo dinner). Pull the husks down, but leave them on the corn – no need for ear holder things, just hold the husks. Smother your cob of corn in butter and salt, and enjoy!


DSCN5013S’moresAs if I need to post this recipe.name brand graham crackers (I’ve tried store brand, and unless they are different, store brand crackers are too crumbly to squish the marshmallow – our favorite brand is Honey Maid, but you use whatever you like – or have a coupon for)Hershey’s chocolate (again, a place you should not skimp when it comes to S’mores)Large Marshmallows (here, doesn’t matter what the brand is. But we tried these chocolate swirl marshmallows a while ago – WHOO HOO they were yummy)------------------------------------------------
   DSCN5014 Take a whole graham cracker and break it in half. Place three squares (more if you like) of chocolate on one of the crackers. Place the marshmallow on a roasting stick. Hold it over the coals, turning constantly. Don’t worry that it doesn’t brown up all at once – the key to a perfectly brown marshmallow is to be patient, and turn it constantly. Once the marshmallow is all goldeny-brown, lay it (using the roasting stick) on top of the chocolate cracker. Take the other cracker and smash it down on top of the marshmallow. Slowly pull the roasting stick out of the marshmallow. This is the perfect way to make a S’more with the least amount of stickiness.

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