"A" - You're Adorable

This is mostly a post to show off how adorable my little buddy is. I love him so much! He and I get along great, especially after our super fun vacation to Arkansas and Missouri. We're attached at the hip now (meaning, he is attached to my hip). We love hanging out - mostly we hang out at home, in our downstairs rooms, and Vincente plays in the boxes, or laundry baskets. 

One of Vincente's favorite toys right now is an empty diaper box that has been sitting around in my room, waiting to be recycled or chucked or whatever. The first time he got it, I asked him "What are you doing?" And now, every time he gets in the box, he says "What you doin?" It's adorable. It's a nice box, because it fits his little legs perfectly... and he can get in and out by himself, without help - which means independent play for him, and time to get things done for me!

Here he is looking absolutely please with being in his box.

And here he is with Snuggle (his blanket) and Bear (his... bear) with him in the box.

He absolutely adores that bear - his Grandma Shirley got it for him for his first birthday.

It gets hugs and kisses and love every morning, and all throughout the day...

that bear gets Vince love probably more often than I do!

Look at that face! Irresistable! Gotta love this kid!!

Arkansas Fun!

While we were in Arkansas, we got to help rake the yard! Something few Utahns (especially near where we live, in a newer development) get to experience every fall.

Vincente loved helping rake the leaves. Teach them to work hard while they're young!

The "babies," as I call them, were such good helpers. For the first little while, they loved helping bag the leaves... then they mostly liked helping spread the pile out so we could rake it back up again. Precious children. They sure had fun!

At first, Vincente was kind of nervous of the leaves. He has always loved walking in the leaves, hearing the crunching sound, but he has never seen so many HUGE leaves all in one place. So it took a little bit of getting used to, but once Grandma Pam showed him how to do it, throwing leaves was a breeze! And he even got brave enough to be buried up to his waist in leaves - though I'm not sure his face shows how excited he was, he really did enjoy it!

And here is a picture of Vincente standing in the leaves with his adorable cousin, Kaylynn. She is exactly like Vincente (as far as personality goes). I think she is a very acurate projection of what three year old Vincente will be like. They had a blast playing together, even if they did bug each other to tears sometimes. Cute cute kids. It was really fun to see Vincente playing with his Werner cousins. I'm glad my brother found a "ready-made" family ;) That way Vince doesn't have to be the only kid his age on the Werner side. He has TWO cousins his age!!

Oh, and if you're wondering why Karynn is not in this picture... we tried to coax her into standing in the leaves with the other two, but when she discovered that she was going to be buried in the leaves, she freaked out and didn't want anything to do with it. I actually have a picture of her sitting with her mom next to the two in the picture above, but she didn't look very happy, so I decided to spare her and leave that part out. She is in the video of the babies running through the leaves (which I will upload later).

Our Army Strong Family

I enjoyed editing this photo, and it turned out a lot cooler looking than I thought it would! That is an embrace I can't wait to have again. Only a few months until we're permenantly moved together!! I love our little family - there is so much love, and there's only three (and half) of us!!

Tinkle Tinkle Dar

By Popular Demand.... 

"Tinkle Tinkle Dar" featuring Baby Binsom!!

The Pros and Cons of Changing Plans

I was just getting comfortable with moving to Arizona. I had convinced myself that I would enjoy living in the desert for a few more months, that it would be okay to have a baby all by myself, and I had found a place to live, a place to have my baby - everything was in order! Just then, the Army throws us for a loop, and now I have to do it all over again. All those hours of trying to find a house, figuring out the logistics of moving, etc etc etc

The good thing about this change is that suddenly I don't really have to have a plan. The Army is PCSing us, which means they pay for the move, they send movers to pack us up, and I'm pretty sure they will also let us stay in temporary housing for a while (actually IN California) until we find a place to live.

So instead of having to do all the searching for a house, planning for a move, etc all over again, I don't have to do much of anything but sit back and wait for January! :)

Oh yes, and on another note, apparently the DLI likes to give people the maximum amount of Christmas vacation possible. See, TRADOC (the Govt people who are responsible for all military training) make up these "exodus" dates for Christmas vacation for the military. Each individual installment is allowed to extend or shorten their exodus up to two days on either side. DLI likes to give the extra two days on each end, making their exodus one of the longest, starting around Dec. 19 and stretching until two days after the first working day of the new year. Which means we may get Russ almost the ENTIRE time we're in Arkansas for Christmas!! Makes me a very happy person.

So this whole moving to CA first thing actually has way more pros than cons, and I am very excited for the move. I just don't know what to do with myself, since I feel like I should be making all sorts of plans, but there are really no plans to make. I'm not even going to worry about finding a place to deliver the baby, because I'm going to wait until I can meet with a Tricare person (in person) to find out about providers, etc.

California - definitely a better first move than the Arizona one.

An Army Strong Family

Having been newly inducted into the large Army family, and having been the scared wife of a new enlistee, not really knowing what to expect - I decided to start a blog entirely dedicated to the things I learn as an Army wife, and the things my family does to keep strong while we support our soldier in his service of the United States of America.

So, that being said, here is the address for my blog:

http://armystrongfamily.blogspot.com

I only just started it. I hope to make it a nice conglomerate of my experiences and others' experiences, and soon I'll get a nice list of useful links up there as well. Let me know if you have any suggestions on what I could do to make it more useful for Army wives and their families.

Quando Chega em Casa O Meu Pai..

(I'm So Glad When Daddy Comes Home)

Vincente was so happy to see Russ on Thursday. They had a great time together, of course, so I thought I would post a few pictures so everyone can see how much Vincente loves his Papai. 

Like Father, Like Son

At the park Vincente thought it was the best thing to play with Papai. They chased each other around the playground, Vince got thrown in the air (several feet!) and loved it, of course. "Again, Again!" I love the picture of them on the slide - you can't see Russ' face as well as you can see Vincente's, but let me assure you their looks are both of pure bliss. They were in heaven for those few hours they got to be together. 

They played together like they had never been apart. Vincente loved on Papai, tried to impress Papai with his amazing speech skills (and knowledge of everything around him) "Tree" (which soon became "avore") "Truck!" (which he quickly changed to "camiao")... It was neat to hear Vincente speak so much Portuguese. It was like Russ hadn't been gone at all. 

I can't wait until we get to live with him! As far as an update that way goes - the Army will PCS us to California as soon as I'm ready (which will be in January when we're done with all my schooling and Christmas stuff and wedding stuff). Meanwhile, we may spend Thanksgiving in Monterey with Russ, or he may be able to come to Utah for Thanksgiving! We're keeping our fingers crossed for the latter - his family would LOVE to have him home one more time before we move away permenantly. We will definitely keep you posted on the moving we do!

Officially Announcing Baby #2 - Girl Rowley

And here she is!

The clinic had a new ultrasound machine, complete with 3-D technology! So we have a mix here - some 3-D, some 2-D. These first three pictures are her little profile. The technician tried to get her profile in 2-D, but Little Sister wouldn't turn her face the right way :) She kept putting her little hands up by her face the whole time, too (as you can see in the video, if you watch it). Maybe she had an itch! One of the profile pictures shows her little hand coming up by her face. 

These 2-D pictures are one of her arm sticking straight out, and one of the essential human anatomy that gives her a significant part of her identity! At one point in the ultrasound, we had this shot with the umbilical cord in the way and I was almost going to swear it was a boy, but it didn't look EXACTLY like Vince, so I just waited for her to say something. All she said was "This is the umbilical cord."

It's funny that when the technician said "Your having a girl!" at first my heart sunk a little bit. Then I suddenly got all giddy. In fact, I laughed almost the whole way home with happiness at my little girl. I think I just got so used to having little boys - I had my little boy, Chrystal had her two boys who I used to watch all the time, and I am living with my in laws, who have three young boys at home, so it just seemed natural for me to have little boys. But I am already in love with my little girl! Looking at her in the ultrasound made it so real. It was almost like meeting her. I feel like I know her. This is going to be so much fun! And expensive, since I don't own any girl clothes... but that's what aunties are for (hint hint, Christy! ;)  )

Welcome to the Army

When Russ enlisted in the Army back in December 07, his orders sent him to BCT (basic) and then to California for Chinese language training. AIT (advanced individual training) was supposed to follow when he was finished with Chinese.

So we started planning our life around living in California when I was finished with school.

When Russ got to reception in August (for basic training) they changed his orders, sending him to AIT immediately following basic training. After his AIT, they would send him to CA for language training.

So we started planning our life around living near Russ for AIT when I was finished with school. And made plans for visiting Russ for Thanksgiving, also to check out the hospital where I would deliver, maybe meet with my midwife, and find a place to live.

The day before graduation from basic training, they changed his orders AGAIN. Back to CA first, then AIT.

So now we are planning our life to move to CA in January... maybe, unless he gets to CA and they look at him like "what are you doing here?" and ship him back to AIT. We won't know until he actually STARTS learning Chinese, I imagine.

Welcome to the army... where they change your orders every chance they get!! Arg.

The Best Day of My Life

After the day I married Russ and the day Vincente was born... so technically the third best day of my life, but that doesn't make nearly as catchy a title.

This morning we woke up super early so we could get through the gate at the post and find the theater where the graduation was held. We got there in plenty of time (and good thing, because by the time the thing started it was standing room only!). We got a seat in the third or fourth row back. Just before the ceremony started, Delta Company, 48th Infantry Battalion marched in to the theater. They kind of went around the back, so we went out on the front steps and watched them come in.

Russ has been Platoon guide for the past two or three weeks, so he was at the corner of his platoon right in front of the Drill Sergeant, which was nice because it made it really easy to see him. I kept pointing him out to Vincente. They marched across the stage first when they came in, and then they stood up on stage in platoons, introducing themselves. When Russ introduced himself, I think Vincente finally recognized that Papai was here (he heard Russ' voice!).

After the ceremony, the platoons lined up outside to meet their families. I don't know what I was expecting from Vincente, but when we walked up to Russ, I said "Here's Papai!" And Russ reached out to see if Vincente would come to him. At first, Vince looked a little unsure, but when I started handing him off, he got all smiley and went right to Russ, and started touching his nose and eyes and mouth and cuddling against Russ' shoulder.

It was the best thing I have ever seen. Vincente knew exactly who Russ was, and become Russ' little buddy right from the first moment he saw him.

My dad took us out to eat and then watched Vincente for us for a while so we could have some couple time. Then we took Vincente to the park while my dad went golfing. Vincente was super fun at the park. It was amazing to me how much Portuguese Vince spoke when he was with Russ! It was like the lights turned on, and he started spewing Portuguese!! I've been trying to keep him familiar with Portuguese - using the Portuguese word for things, etc, but Vince never seems to want to speak Portuguese with me. With Russ, that's all he wanted to speak! You wouldn't think he even remembered any Portuguese. Kids are so smart, and Vince picked it up really fast!

We had steak for dinner, then took Russ back to the barracks. Vince was loving Pai the whole way there, saying "Eu te amo, eu te amo, eu te amo..." over and over again. I could tell that he didn't want Russ to leave. He kept trying to get Russ to look at the moon and the stars with him. Then when it was finally time to leave Russ, I held out my arms for Vincente. Usually when I do that (when he is with anyone but Russ) Vince almost leaps into my arms. He actually pushed my face away when I tried to get him from Russ. Poor little guy just wanted to stay with his Papai.

I finally got him back in the car, and his face looked soooo forlorn. It mirrored the ache that started swelling up in my heart. Then I distracted him by promising to buy him chicken nuggets for dinner.

So that was our wonderful day. Oh yes, and I told Russ what we're having - it's a girl!! I will have an entire post for that once I get back to Arkansas. I'll also update this post with a few more pictures from graduation (since all of the pictures from the graduation are on my dad's camera).

Oh yes, and Russ is actually flying out to California... not to Arizona... so instead of us making a big move to AZ in January, we may be PCSing to CA in January... crazy Army orders changing.

Tomorrow

I am sitting at the hotel with my dad and Vincente - tomorrow morning at about 6:30am we will drive to the gate of Fort Leonard Wood, MO and probably wait in  line a while and then... at 8:00am.... WE GET TO SEE RUSS!!!

And the hotel has a nice pool, but we didn't bring swim suits. I don't know if Wal Mart will have any swimsuits, but we can go buy something that is swimsuit-ish (some shorts, a tank top, etc), and swimmy diapers for Vince (hopefully). So maybe tomorrow we will go swimming with Papai (while my dad is golfing ;) ) Hooray for seeing Russ!! I just can't wait! This is the moment I've been waiting for since I drove away from the Radisson hotel when we left Russ there to be shipped to BCT. 

And it's going to go by so fast, I know it. But in just two weeks from today I'll get to see him AGAIN for Thanksgiving!! So it won't be too bad. 

I'll probably post pictures of the graduation tomorrow (and the sex of the baby, most likely).

Almost Free!!

I wasn't going to post again until I was in Arkansas, but I've been able to get so much done this weekend I thought I would post a little quickie before I go to bed.

I took a Physics test, did math and Physics homework, wrote a 10 page (well, about 8 1/2 pages) research paper, and studied for a Religion test. 

Yes, I'd say a very productive weekend!! Mostly in anticipation of seeing Russ this week. I don't want to leave here having a lot hanging over my head when I get back. The status right now is looking like pretty much blissful freedom for my entire WEEK LONG vacation (which, have I mentioned, I completely deserve!!)

We leave early Tuesday morning, and I haven't even started packing yet (I've got to get a few things from the storage unit tomorrow). 

Wish us luck!!

(PS Keep checking for the gender of our new baby!! It will probably be sometime Thursday night - Friday night this week!!!!!)

busy bees

I have been really busy trying to get everything finished for school so I can be ready to go on my TRIP TO ARKANSAS!!! We leave early Tuesday morning. Today I took a Physics test. I've never been so excited to get a 65% on a test 8-o

I have a 10 pg research paper due on Monday, and I have to take a religion test the same day. This weekend is full of Temple sealings (some friends in our ward), BYU football, and ward choir! Then it's back to school for one day before I'm OFF TO SEE MY HUBBY!!! Can you tell I'm excited?

Anyway, I'm writing this post from the kiosk outside my English classroom (about 20 min til class) and I've almost used up all my time. I just wanted to post something quick, in case you don't hear from me for a few days. I didn't disappear... I'm just getting ready for VACATION! :D

Drumroll please...

And the baby is....

Okay, I'm not telling you yet. Russ has to be the first to know (besides me and the midwives and ultrasound technician, of course :-p )

One week from Friday is the very lastest the news will be official!

They got a new ultrasound machine at my clinic, and the pictures were so much better this time! With Vincente, I couldn't tell what anything was, and it was really hard to see anything. This time, I could see all the parts of the baby before the tech even started talking about it. Its little arms... it kept moving them up to its face, and every now and then would move around so I could see AND feel the baby moving! Now THAT was cool. And then the tech took a few 3-D pictures of baby's profile (because she couldn't get the baby to turn profile with the 2-D ultrasound). Of course, baby's face was still really scrawny (it only weighs something like 13 oz!!) but it was SOOO cute. I'll update this post with pictures of the profile once I get them scanned. Cute cute cute. I could really see EVERYTHING. Baby was so cute and looked so comfy all snuggled up in my uterus. Made me want to find a uterus to sit in for a while!

I bet I can even post the entire DVD of the ultrasound once Russ has seen it. I'll have to have my dad help me put it on the computer.

It was a really great experience. It was like I was meeting my baby, sort of. Weird that it was a different feeling than when I had my ultrasound with Vincente. I wonder if it's just my emotions are crazier this time, or if the newer machine really made a difference.

Oh, and my placenta is on the front of my uterus, so that's probably why I wasn't able to feel the baby move earlier (I only started feeling the baby move a few weeks ago, and I'm already 22 weeks!)

So there is the pre-gender review of the ultrasound. Stay tuned for the gender!! To be disclosed in at most one week!!

Internet!

I didn't realize how addicted I have become to the internet until we were without internet (and phone?) for nearly the entire day!! What made it worse is that I stayed home with Vincente today, so I didn't even have school to distract me. It was really hard to find things to do, but mostly I played with Vincente. He's still really in the stage where he likes to play by himself more than with other people, so he doesn't really need me to entertain him the whole day (which is nice, usually!)

I did get a little bit of journal time in, and had time to just meditate and things, which was nice. But I was sure restless. I've been very restless the past few days... waiting to see Russ. It's the only thing I want right now, but I know there are things I have to do in the meantime - school, take care of myself, Baby #2, and Vincente, etc... but man I just wish I could be WITH HIM! My heart aches for him. My whole body aches for him sometimes... okay, I'm going to stop. If I keep talking about it I'll probably start crying - and I've been so good for the past few days!

Just about a week... I can do it! One day at a time. And tomorrow is my ultrasound!! :D Unfortunately for all of you, no one will find out until probably Friday, Nov. 14 (the day after I see Russ). Theoretically you could find out on the 13th, but there are a few people who I have to tell in person (my folks, my sister, etc) and THEN I can publicly display the gender of Baby #2 for the world to see!! So, if I get to tell everyone Thursday night (i.e. everyone answers their phones) and I have internet access, it will be public knowledge that night!! So, keep watching ;)

The Graduated List

I moved this list from a previous post because I decided that I wanted to be able to add to it, and the previous post wasn't as date-generic. So here is the list:

This is a list of all the things I want to do once I graduate:

• make lesson plans for homeschooling from pre-K to 6th grade (in progress)
• learn Mendolssohn's concerto in E minor
• scrapbook the rest of the pictures and scrapbook stuff I have (in progress - I'm actually scanning all my paper scrapbook stuff to do digital scrapbooks instead)
• perfect my homemade roll recipe
• learn how to make a homemade cake (from scratch) (DONE)
  
• work on my website
• work on the Werner line - make a "Werner" Family History website (in progress)
• make Java games for kids
• qualify for all Suzuki Teacher training (by sending in audition tape of Mozart concerto)
• complete Suzuki Teacher Training Books 1-2 (at least)
• workout every day (DONE! Well, you know, I do the best I can with two kids - but I work out a LOT more than I used to!)
  
• take gutar lessons
• scan all the rest of our random paper stuff and organize it on our computer (in progress - all I have left is a bunch of letters - but they're all in storage right now, so this will have to wait until the fall/next year)
• start digital scrapbooking (in progress)
• make homemade whole wheat bread

Things I want to do every day with my kids:

• play outside (football, soccer, ride bikes, etc etc) (DOING!)
• sing silly songs (DOING!)
• cook (breakfast, lunch, dinner) (LOVE DOING THIS!)
• play instruments (DOING!)
• READ! (DOING!)

Just making this list makes me want to be done with school already!!

(updated May 30, 2010)

one week

I leave for Arkansas in one week from tomorrow. I'm getting super excited. It's going to be nice to have a little break from school and Utah. Not that I'm not enjoying myself here, but I'm just ready for a change. Some new sights. And of course, I'm way ready to see Russ...

... the countdown continues.

voting = free? Not for me

Yes, so... I'm going to pay $30 to vote this year. It's due to my lack of advance planning and not requesting my absentee ballot until the very last day possible... so I got my absentee ballot today, and it's due in the clerk's office by 7:30pm tomorrow (Tuesday, election day). And that means that I have to FedEx it. The cheapest rate is about $30 - and that's getting it there at 3:00pm.

I should have been more responsible. But at least I get to vote. Now off to the FedEx place in SF to send off my absentee ballot!!

Feeling It

Today I suddenly felt something overwhelming hit me ... I am a military wife. I am the wife of a soldier. 

I talked to Russ today, and our brief phone call was frequently interrupted by him responding to some question from a Drill Sergeant, or barking instructions to a fellow private. Finally I asked him why he was sounding so important. He said he's been a Platoon guide for the past week or so, which sounds like it suits him fine!

And then he started talking about doing ROTC while he's enrolled in a masters program somewhere (probably doing something useful like International Relations, etc). He'll probably end up stretching out the masters program over four-five years so he can be a "stay-at-home" dad while I work five years to "pay off" (i.e. have forgiven) my student loans. When he started talking about the ROTC bit, I have to admit I got really excited. That means he probably wants to stay in the military. Which means several things 1.) He enjoyed Basic Training 2.) He realizes that he has a lot of potential serving in the military 3.) I am going to be an Army wife!!

I'm actually really excited about it. Mostly because knowing that Russ really does want to do the Army means that we now have a life-long career. Or at the very least, 20 years, because after that you're eligbile for retirement. 

Hooray! Russ has never talked this seriously about anything career related. He's always either thought he couldn't be sure about his career options, or he didn't really know what he wanted to do. Now he knows. Drive is good.

a super saturday

What a fabulous time. I went to our ward Relief Society super Saturday. It was great to just get away and spend some relaxed time with the sisters in my ward. I love hanging out with them. I've been feeling really horrible lately (missing Russ and everything) so it was nice to get out with a bunch of married sisters - without having husbands around. It's rough, being the only person without a husband.

Anyway, I made some I Spy games - little pouches of beady things and a bunch of random knick-knacks for little kids to find. I made one in a girl pattern and one in a boy pattern, even though they have the same stuff inside. They're actually pretty cool. I was going to make one on my own, so I would know how to make them, but there was so much going on, I ended up just filling two pre-made ones. I'm sure I could figure out the basic design pretty easily. There are a lot of fun little things inside to "spy" - a turtle, a monkey, a fish, a car, a lady bug, a clothes pin, a noodle, a penny, a dime, a rattle, a baby, etc. It's a nice quiet toy for sacrament meeting :)

I also made some magnets for Vincente. I forgot that I was supposed to bring pictures to glue on the magnets if I wanted to, so on my way out the door I grabbed some brightly colored paper and decided I would make Vince his name in magnets. I had two extra magnets, hence the car and the train. After I made the car and train I kind of wished that I had just made little cars, trains, boats, helicopters, etc for him. But having his name will be kind of fun for him, too. Those were really easy to make as well.

As usual, visiting with the sisters was the best part. I discovered there is another military family in our ward. One sister's husband is in the National Guard as well! I think they moved into the ward after Russ left to Basic. Her husband works full time for the Guard, but it was really nice to talk to her. Her husband actually went to BCT at Ft Leonard Wood! Crazy, I know. Anyway, I also talked to the sister of one of the girls in our ward. Her husband is in MI (military intelligence) as well and just got finished learning Chinese at the DLI in California. Heh, I wanted to talk to her a little bit about things, but it ended up that I know as much (if not more) about the military, and being a military wife, than she does. I'm just the kind of person who likes to know everything I possible can about something I'm going to be involved in. When Russ enlisted, I looked EVERYWHERE for information about where we would be living, what Basic would be like, what AIT would be like, what the DLI would be like, etc. So far I haven't been surprised at anything, which is nice. Of course, it's only been basic training, so we'll see how things go at AIT.

Anyway, so it was a great day. Vincente had a blast playing with a bunch of other kids in the nursery room while I had a great time visiting with my friends and enjoyed being crafty and stuff. Lunch was great, too. I made a chicken casserole which actually turned out really well. I think it was probably my second or third time ever making a casserole. Oh, and I went to a bread-making class, during which I got to sample some DELICIOUS bread and get a few new tips on making bread. I still need to learn how to make a good loaf of wheat bread. I'll probably just have to experiment. Christy made some a while back, and it was pretty good, so I'll have to get her recipe and start from there.

Life is good. I still miss Russ. A lot. But as long as I keep myself distracted, I'm okay.

just my musings

Okay, I kept wanting to write little extras in my halloween post, but to spare those who don't want to read my random, sometimes depressing thoughts, they are being relocated to their own post.

I am glad Halloween is over. Last year I enjoyed it. That's probably because last year I had a husband to share it with (and who did pretty much everything, other than the actual making of Vincente's costume). So yeah... I hate doing holidays as a single mom. 

And I hate being alone. I miss Russ. He's my best friend in the world, and without him around to talk to, life is really lonely. No one else can really take his place. Talking to other people is great, but talking to Russ is irreplaceable. It's as if I know that whatever I say to him will stick in his heart (even though he may not remember it). He and I are connected for eternity. We're not connected to anyone else in the world the way we're connected to ourselves. Not to our parents, not to our kids. Our parents have their spouses, and eventually we hope our children will find spouses. So I miss being close to the person I'm closest to, if that makes sense.

And in just over a week, I'll get to be with him again! Even if it is only for a few hours. I miss him so much. Having your best friend be more than a phone call away is hard. There have been countless times (especially lately) where I just wanted to pick up my phone and call him to chat for a few minutes, or text him. The last time we were this "permenantly" away from each other was when I went home to Arkansas the summer before we got engaged. But I got to talk to him almost every single night! It was fabulous! And we don't even have that, so it's really hard for me.

I miss him soooooo much.

Halloween 2008

Our Halloween festivities this year began on Wednesday night, carving pumpkins with the Rowley clan. Our pumpkins turned out pretty good, but I didn't get any pictures. They got wrinkled and old looking before Halloween night, and we got back really late from our partying tonight, so I decided not to take any pictures. They looked cute enough, but there will be many more years of carving pumpkins, so we'll get more pictures then. Vincente wasn't really into the carving thing anyway. He hasn't been feeling very well, so all the partying and to-do has made him more ornery than excited. As you can see from these pictures, he didn't really like the idea of sticking his hand in the gooey pumpkin. He was mostly okay with observing until Brady "helped" him stick his hand in the pumpkin. Then he decided he'd had it with Halloween and wanted to go to bed. Oh well. I'm sure he'll get into it more the older he gets. I don't think he really understands the dressing up and excitement, so it's just confusing for him.

Festivities continued Thursday night at the BYU Alumni party for BYU students, faculty, and alumni's children. There was story-telling, all sorts of carnival-like games (complete with candy prizes), a bounce house, coloring, popcorn, jesters, and of course a costume parade and contest. Vincente was mostly only interested in the candy, popcorn, and of course

the bounce house (although I didn't think to get pictures of him in the bounce house - mostly because he held my hand the whole time!). He got some candy, and caught a fish. Vince has been getting over some bug or other, and so I had given him Tylenol right before we went, which put him in a good mood, but made him a little lethargic for partying. There were so many people there, and I think that might have been a little overwhelming as well.

Friday evening we dropped by our ward's Trunk-or-Treat. I took decorations for my car and everything, but I forgot that I am a single mom right now, so I have to make sacrifices. So I sacrificed handing out candy at my own car so Vincente could go around and trick or treat at all the other cars. He got a good load of candy for a toddler (which will have to be carefully rationed to him over the next 5 years... ha ha, just kidding, between me and him, we'll probably have it eaten by next weekend!)

Everyone loved his little cowboy outfit. It's Russ' costume from when he was little. Russ' mom made the vest, the bandana, and the chaps. Super cute! And it's kind of fun that Vincente got to wear the same costume Russ wore once upon a time. Kind of sentimental, you know.

After the ward shindig, we hopped over to the Coyne's for their Halloween party-pot-luck. Vincente had fun for the most part, but I think he was done with so many people. Ever since living in a house with so many people here almost ALL the time, I think he's kind of sick of being around lots of people. Anyway, he did have fun with Bella toward the end of the evening. They were climbing up the Lovesac together. Vincente kept saying "Climb up" - of course, it mostly sounded like "Kine up." They played pretty well together, until Vince decided that he didn't want Bella to be climbing with him. He kind of pushed her face away (not shoving, like he usually does, just a little "get away" push). I could tell it didn't hurt her physically, because for a minute she just stood there. Then I think she realized that Vince was saying he didn't want to play with her, and her little lip started quivering, and then the tears... oh the crying and tears, it broke my heart! She was so hurt that he didn't want her to play, too! What a sensitive little sweetheart! Vincente said "Shorry" a few times, which didn't really make her feel better, but eventually when she came back over to play, he kept telling her "Shorry." It was adorable. Kids are so innocent and loving and sensitive. It reminds you of how you should be.

Oh yes, and here is the Army Scarecrow we made over at our neighbor's house a few weeks before Halloween. We used Russ' old fatigues (the BDU's they don't use anymore). I thought it looked great, and I had to get pictures for Russ. I thought he would enjoy it!

it starts

What? you ask. Ear infections. Ever since I've known Russ (maybe just since we were married, or engaged or something) I have been prepared for my children to have ear infections like murder. Russ had them so often he had to have tubes put in his ear (which helped). He didn't have them as a baby, just as a toddler, and a young child (probably until he was four or five).

It isn't official (because Vincente hasn't been to the pediatrician yet) but I'm pretty sure he has an ear infection. He just got over a pretty nasty cold about a week ago, and just about when his cold cleared up is when he started getting moody - clingy, crying all the time, waking up in the night crying, lost his appetite. And then a few days ago I noticed some nasty ear goo coming out of his right ear. He's always had a normal amount (and color) of ear wax, so it being a crusty brown color and gooping up like it was, and combined with the end of a cold (during which he produced a lot of really gross boogers) and the other symptoms, I decided it is probably an ear infection.

I will take him to the pediatrician as soon as I can get an appointment, but the lastest research from the AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) says not to do anything for (most) ear infections except give pain-relievers. No more super-bug breeding antibiotics (except in the case of a REALLY bad, REALLY dangerous ear infection) for every single ear infection. If this is indeed an ear infection, it's pretty much your run-of-the-mill ear infection, and the AAP says those are best left to the body to take care of (with the help of pain-relievers so your baby isn't miserable while his little body takes care of it).

So wish me luck to dealing with Vincente's first (definitely not his last, I'm sure) ear infection.

Pumpkin Picking!

On Monday night for FHE, Vincente and I went pumpkin picking. We'll probably do the carving tonight - so check back for more pictures! And then it's trick-or-treating time! We have a party Thursday night at BYU, then Salem is doing "safe trick-or-treating" at the ballpark, and then we're going to go to our ward trunk-or-treat, and then we're going to go to the Coyne's halloween potluck, and probably go trick-or-treating again with Guy and Bella and the other kids.

So, for the pumpkin picking.

The only thing about pumpkin picking with Vincente (and probably any toddler) is that he loves dirt. Loves it. There is nothing he would rather do than pick up dirt and throw it around (except maybe kick up dirt with his feet... both of which he spent his time doing at the pumpkin patch).

Christy managed to get a picture of him trying to get the dirt from around a pumpkin, so it KIND of looked like he was interested in the pumpkin. But don't let the photography fool you. Vince didn't care at all about the pumpkins.

So once we found our perfect pumpkins, Vincente went over to enjoy the kiddie maze while I paid for our prizes. He was pretty good at it. He knew exactly what to do - just keep walking the directions you can go until you find your way out. When you find your way out, you turn around and go back for more! He really really loved it. My kid is getting so fun. The older they get, the more entertaining they are, that's for sure. Although I am still really excited for a little sweet baby that just sits in your lap and cuddles. Vincente isn't as interested in cuddling as he used to be.

So there is our pumpkin picking adventure! Check back for more info about our Halloween festivities. It's way fun that Vincente can actually enjoy it this year!

a quickie

I have a few things to post (and some pictures from our pumpkin picking adventure tonight!) but it'll have to wait until tomorrow when I haven't stayed up so long past my bedtime...

I am getting SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO excited to move.

I can't wait.

I'm so ready.

I want my own house.

I want my own TV.

I want my own living room.

I want my own kitchen.

I want my own dinner menu.

I want my own backyard (with a LAWN).

Okay... now I just want to sleep.

energizer

I mean the bunny... you know, the one that keeps going, and going, and going, and...

You get the idea. That's how life feels right now. School... well, mostly school. It's like it never ends. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and I can't wait for it.

It's like just when you think things are dying down, they pick up again. It's going to be like that until finals... *sigh*

And then, after finals!? Christmas break with my hubby!!! SOOOO excited. Check out my countdowner thingee

<---- over there somewheres. It'll tell you exactly how long until we get to see him again!

Okay, so yes, I am ready to go to bed now. Just had to record somewhere how long I feel like school is taking.

Oh, but yesterday and this morning I kept thinking about the little house I hope to rent near Russ at AIT. I kept thinking about playing in the backyard with Vincente and planting irises and tulips in the front flower bed and decorating the house. I can't wait to live in my own house again. It's going to be awesome.

facelift

As you can see, I've given my blog a little facelift. Mostly I did it because I didn't want to work on my formal proposal for English or my midterm for math (that's what I've been doing all day).

Now I don't have any more good reasons to stay up, so I should go to bed. I really miss Russ... a lot. I put a countdown thing on here too :) Mostly for my own benefit. Just over two weeks... I think I can make it. 

I have to make it.

*sigh*

fun stuff

After going through a little slump where I felt like a crappy mom and I was beating myself up for not spending more time with Vincente doing things HE likes to do, I made a commitment to do better. So here's what we've been up to!

Yesterday we went to the park. Vincente loves swings. He really enjoyed this park. They had two huge tractor tires that you could climb on, around, etc. Those were fascinating as well. I've been meaning to take Vincente to the park more often, and yesterday was such a nice day.

Today, after working on a Math take-home midterm, and after Vincente's nap, we went ice skating! Vincente has been a few times before, but he outgrew his old ice skates this summer, and I haven't had time to take him, so I didn't think about buying him new skates. But then we had some extra money, and I had made this commitment to do fun things with him, so I bought him the new skates. They were supposed to come next week, but they arrived yesterday morning, so off went went to The Peaks ice arena in Provo. The skates we bought for Vincente are from Baby Skates They are the only manufacturer of ice skates in sizes smaller than 6. CCM makes a children's hockey skate in size 6, so when Vincente outgrows these size 5 skates from BabySkates, we plan on buying him the CCM skates. The BabySkates are double-blade, but like I said, no one else makes skates for toddler sizes (not full-boot skates... they make the crappy adjustable, wrap around the shoe skates). When Vincente outgrows these skates, he'll graduate to the CCM Tyke size 6. Those are single blade hockey skates. Then he'll learn how to do hockey stops, cross over turns, the works! Until then, we're just working on getting him comfortable on the ice. Today was great - especially once he discovered how much fun it was to play with the cones. He like skating from one cone to another, and then having me push him around while he held onto one of the cones. If it hadn't been just me and Vince at the rink I would have more pictures, but it's kind of hard to take pictures AND hold up a toddler on ice skates! (especially when you're 4 1/2 months pregnant, and bending down isn't very comfortable)

my sweet husband

I got a letter today from Russ. It was the best letter I've had from him in a while! He is so amazing. I love his testimony and his faith and strength. I think he has made some permenant changes in his thoughts and faith that have really made some wonderful changes. He sounds like the Russ I fell in love with. I can't wait to be with him again. His letter was really bouying and encouraging. It was exactly what I needed, exactly when I needed it.

Feeling Full

As I'm writing this post, Vincente is in his bed singing Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star, among other things.

So two things happened today that made me feel like I am being a good mother.

For a little background, I have been feeling really crappy lately about my parenting abilities - I think it is compounded with the fact that I feel like I have to do it all by myself. It's great having grandparents help, but it's not the same - especially when there really IS another partner in the marriage who is WILLING to help, and WANTING to help, but just away serving his country. Anyway. I have really been feeling lately like I am a crappy mother.

Here was the proof that I am actually doing an okay job.

1.) This morning while I was brushing my teeth before we left for school, Vince was in the bathroom with me, hanging on my legs like he usually does. As I was putting my toothbrush up, he pulled on me and said "Mom. A kiss? A kiss?" I bent down, and he puckered up and landed a nice fat one on my lips! It was the best feeling ever. Usually I have to coax kisses out of him, and most of the time I fail miserably. So the fact that HE asked ME for a kiss was priceless! Melted my heart... it was pretty much mush for the next few hours.

2.) Tonight after I put Vincente to bed and turned out his light, he got out of bed and stood by my door, calling "I want you, Mom!" (yes... he calls me mom... I think it's because we live in a house where all the kids are older, so they call my MIL mom. Heh. ) Anyway, when I put Vincente to bed and come in my room, I usually keep my door cracked while I get ready for bed (in case he wants to come in) and then when I turn off my lamp and go to sleep, I open the door all the way, so he doesn't get scared being alone in his room. Well, lately, even when the door is just cracked, he still won't open it. He stands at the door and calls for me (like he did tonight) or he stands at the door and knocks. That's probably the cutest. When he knocks on my bedroom door. What an adorable child. So tonight he called for me, and I went in and told him to get back in bed. Earlier just before I had turned out the lamp, when he was sitting in bed, he pointed at his bookshelf and asked for "Books" but I told him it was bedtime and that he couldn't read because I was turning the lights out. Apparently he was not satisfied, and that's why he came to my door. As soon as I came in his room, he went right for the books on his dresser where we had left them after reading bedtime stories. So I said, "Okay, you can read in your bed, but you have to stay in your bed." I gave him about four books, left his lamp on, and came in my room. He sat there in his bed for probably close to 30 minutes "reading." Of course, my 18 month old child doesn't read fluently. In fact, really he only recognizes letters, and the word "Up." But the fact that he wanted to stay up reading made me feel like a great mom. Not that I really had a lot to do with his love of books, but I must have done something right - maybe exposing him to books, letting him read them how he wanted to, reading to him when he asks. Something had to encouraged him. I just hope I can keep encouraging him to read. He loves books so much.

So, yeah, I am encouraged in my parenting skills. At least I'm not a crappy mom whose kid only wants to watch TV ever - he's got interests and hobbies already! :)  And at least my kid loves me a little bit. Today all he wanted to do was cuddle with me all day. Made me feel great. He has never liked to cuddle, ever since he was a baby. Today he wanted to sit on my lap and snuggle me. During my class, at dinner, the whole day. Man, my heart is full of Vincente love. This is definitely the part of being a mom that makes it worth it.

check, check, check

Today was great! I got everything done on my to do list, plus some! And I got to spend time with Vincente all day. Man, things can't get better than that.

And the countdown to seeing Russ again? 26 days until his BCT graduation!!! 26 days!!

weddings and family

Vincente and I went to Russ' biological father's brother's wedding yesterday. Yes, I know that sounds confusing, but if you read it a couple of times, you'll figure it out. From now on, we will call him Russ' uncle. 

Anyway, I went because Russ and I got to know his uncle pretty well since we've been married, and Russ likes him a lot. The other reason I went was because I knew Russ' biological father would be there, and I wanted to meet him. Russ hasn't had any contact with his biological father since his mission. That's because when Jeff (Russ' biological father) wrote Russ, he signed the letter "Dad." This was kind of weird to Russ because it was the first he had heard from Jeff since Jeff and Russ' mom got divorced over 23 years ago. So, Russ wrote back and basically said "Don't call yourself Dad to me." Which probably hurt Jeff's feelings a little. From what I hear about him (and now have kind of witnessed first hand) he's a lot like Russ in the sensitive emotions department. 

So apparently (according to Russ' grandma) Jeff was really nervous to meet us. I (maybe a little callously) didn't care, and decided since he was Russ' father, I had a right to meet him, awkward as it might be to him. I've told Russ since we were married and started having kids that we should get in contact with Jeff and offer him a place in our lives - I think he wanted to be involved in Russ' life, and due to circumstances, he wasn't really able to have any role at all. I think it would probably mean something to Jeff if he could be involved again. So, I met him. It was a little awkward, I had to stand around waiting for other people talking to him to move along. And I didn't really know how to introduce myself to him. People had already come up to me and said "Oh, you're Jeff's daughter-in-law." But I didn't really think I should walk up to him and say, "Hey, I'm you're daughter-in-law." So I introduced myself as Russ' wife. He looked a little surprise, and nervous, but Vincente put him at ease, I think, and we exchanged a little small-talk before we got swept in different directions in the crowd. As we were leaving, I passed by him again to give him Russ' mailing address. He actually saw me and asked if I was leaving, and then I gave him the address and he remarked about Russ still being at Basic, and I told him he would be there for a few more weeks. Anyway, I think overall it went well.

And hopefully I can keep helping to smooth out whatever hurt or awkwardness there is between Russ and Jeff. Maybe they can be friends. If they can't, I'll be Jeff's friend! He seems really nice. We'll see how things go.

i have work enough to do

And the sun is already gone down.

Luckily, Vincente is enthralled with the movie Cars, and so I can just hit play, and have freedom to work on homework for 2 hours. YES! The glory of the TV babysitter. I always told myself that I would never do this. But I also told myself I would never be a single mother... HA and here I am, a single mother (not literally, but figuratively). And trying to take care of a kid and go to school at the same time is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I think I've said that before. I doubt this will be the last time I say it.

Off to take advantage of the 2 hours of freedom.

My First Policital Feelings

I have been feeling kind of removed from the election this year... mostly because I didn't really care for either candidate. But I've been thinking about things, and I finally realize what matters the most to me in a candidate this year.

Who will defend the family?

And I believe that McCain will. To me, defense of the family is what will repair all the damage that has been done - in every aspect of our American lives.

I believe that women should NOT be compelled to fight in the armed forces. Mothers should be home, raising good citzens who will fight for their country. If the draft required women to register as well as men, then mothers will be sent to war. I don't know if Obama realized this when he said that he would require women to register with selective service. Many women between 18 and 25 are young mothers. Not only would you be sending MOTHERS to fight, but you would be sending mothers who have young children. As a mother and wife of an Army soldier, I understand how difficult it is for a young child to be separated from their father. Separating an 18 month old child from his mother would be exponentially increasing his emotional distress. And right now it's just for a short time for training... imagine a 24 month tour in Iraq?! A baby can't handle not having mommy for 2 years! John McCain wants to keep mothers where they belong... in the home, raising their children, not out on a battle field.

I believe that marriage is between a man and a woman. Marriage is the covenant that starts a family. Families are a mother, a father, and their children. Sometimes one of these may be missing - maybe a husband and wife aren't able to have children, maybe something happens to the father or the mother. But it just makes sense that children have a right to A mother and A father. Why? What does it take to create a child? A mother... and a father. There is no getting around that, no matter what. The beginning of life happens because of a man and because of a woman. And the most secure way to allow a child to have those two significant beings around forever is by starting out with a marriage. Marriages just breed stronger families. There's a better sense of connection. I'm not saying marriage makes things perfect, but a family is better off when marriage is part of the equation. And a child is better off when they have access to the love of a father and a mother. I believe that John McCain will actually DEFEND that belief. I think that Obama probably believes that a child should have a mother and a father, but it doesn't mean enough to him for him to defend it. 

In short, I've heard Obama say that he believes in family values - but will he defend them? I don't think he will. I think he is too concerned with giving everyone "rights" and "freedoms" and not concerned enough with defending the truths that he believes in. Every child has a right to have a mother and a father. Children who are adopted or born into same-sex marriages don't have that freedom. Why are we discriminating against children that way? They don't have a choice. But they have the right. I want to defend that freedom for them.

I believe McCain will defend the family. 

Vote how you will, but I will vote for the family. I will vote for the truths that are the core of my very person. I will vote for someone who will defend the family.

BYU Homecoming 2008

We started the day standing in line at 8:45 am in the light snow flurry and freezing weather for blue pancakes before the parade. Being the experienced mother that I am (you only need a few months experience with a toddler to figure this one out) I picked the pancake station by the Botany Pond at BYU. We were lucky yesterday to be the witness of 30+ ducks in the pond. They were probably enjoying the water, which was almost certainly warmer than the air, since it had been warm for a few days before the nasty cold hit. I wish I had gotten a picture for the blog. It was crazy - there were so many of them. But at least you can see what the duck bond is in this picture, if you've never been there before.

We got blue pancakes - I had classic butter and syrup on mine. Vince got whipped cream and chocolate chips. I topped his first, then set his plate on the table while I topped mine. He knew where the good stuff was at and reached his chubby little hand up to grab a chocolate chip. The only problem was that it was so cold, so he was bundled in his big parka, and he wanted his snuggles (his fuzzy blankets - yes... both of them) wrapped around his neck like a scarf. So the distance around the blanket and coat was greater than the length of his little arm. Try as he might, there was no getting the chocolate chip into his mouth. 

It was hilarious. Of course, being the merciful mother that I am, I helped him out, and he got to savor the delicius chocolate bit. Then we enjoyed our pancakes in the freezing cold by the duck pond. I was surprised Vince actually ate the pancakes and not just the chocolate chips.

After the pancake breakfast I let Vince chase the ducks until the parade started. The parade was a lot of fun. Vincente was mostly into it because I told him people would throw candy to him. "Canny? Canny?" He asked every time a float went by. He also got a balloon from the BYU Folk Dance people "Ba-oon! Boon!" After a while, though, the early morning and excitement from the parade (not to mention being bundled up really well) got the better of him, and he was passed out til lunch.

We ate lunch with my best friend Jessica and her friend Sam, and his family. Then we spent the time between lunch and the game at Sam's relative's house. I tried to get Vincente to nap, but his little 30 minute power nap after the parade gave him too much energy. 

The game was great, until the third quarter when Vincente decided he was ready to give the nap thing a second try - except for the fact that the stadium was too loud. He very loudly requested that we go home. So we did, and about an hour later he was passed out on the couch, and I waited for Jess and Sam and some of their other friends to come over and keep me company before bedtime. Then Jessica and her sister Lindsey spent the night. 

All in all, it was a great day. Full of good friends, good food, and good times. It's the first time I've ever really participated in the whole of homecoming, and I have to admit it was really fun. It's something I may like to do in the future when I have more kids, and we're living far away - make a trip up to Utah to visit BYU during homecoming, and take in all the good times. 

I love the memories made, and I sure wish Russ had been here with us - that would have made the fun all that much better.

a brief pause

I didn't realize how long it had been since I'd posted - I know four or five days isn't really THAT long, but for me (seeing how I've been posting nearly every day for the past few months) it is getting to be too long.

From my last post, you could probably see that I was very behind in school. Thanks to very understanding professors and some good friends, I was able to spend a lot of last week catching up. While it took its toll on me (I am sooo exhausted, it's not even funny), I am glad to be less behind, and have more or less of a plan to get caught up. I should be entirely caught up by Friday (including an exam that my professor is going to let me take at home on my own time, even though it was not originally a take home test). 

So that was most of the little pause in my posting - trying to catch up with school. And in general getting back on top of things. It takes exponentially longer when you have kids and no husband. Once you get behind it's almost like you're going to be behind for the rest of your life. Ick. 

And yesterday was Homecoming. A fabulously fun time. I'll make and entire post about that. Remember, if you want to see more pictures of our life (I don't usually post very many on here) look at our online gallery http://werner.mine.nu/gallery/becca

Oh yes - and today was filled with talking to Russ - for like almost 3 hours! It was the most emotionally rejuvenating thing that has happened since he left. It's like I'm supercharged now. We just got to chat and chat and chat - you know, like you do with your best friend - just talk. That's what best friends are for, and I have certainly missed chatting with Russ. One thing about it that I have missed the most is pointing out silly things that Vince does and having Russ laugh. We get a kick out of our kid - and not everyone gets as big of a kick out of your kids as you do yourself, so I've missed that. Today I described something silly Vince was doing in the moment, and Russ' laugh was priceless. I miss his laugh. I miss his arms. I miss his voice. I miss everything about him. I want him back. A month is a long time more to wait, but in a month from tomorrow I WILL SEE HIM AGAIN! I can't wait. At all. I'm going crazy.

catching...

I am desperately behind in Physics and Math. Although I calculated today that if I get a C in math and a D in Physics, I will still get above a 2.5! That's assuming A- and A's in all my other classes (which I'm pretty much right on track for). 

But I still need to catch up. Good thing I have good friends who have offered to help me out. I'm hoping I can really be finished with catch up after this week. We'll see.

good days

Today was a great day. I took Vince with me to school, and he got to play with me during classes and between classes and we had a picnic lunch and then took a nap together in a hallway in the ESC, and then played at Jessica's house for a while. It was super fun. I love being able to spend more time with him. Tuesdays are especially good for that at school because I only have two classes, and neither are really "serious" classes (I mean, they aren't full of a bunch of people who are ornery about distractions ;) ) And then I have two hours of nothing in between! So I usually miss Vince a lot during those two hours. But for the last two weeks, I've been able to take him with me on Tuesdays, and I think I will start doing that permenantly. I love him too much, and we have not been able to spend a lot of quality time together for the past few weeks, since I've had to do a lot of school work. I'm almost caught up. I'm mostly caught up as far as the work goes, but still behind a little bit as far as the concepts go. Physics will be the hardest to catch up in. I still haven't taken the last test, because I haven't been able to complete any of the homework, and I don't know when to get help. I should probably email my professor about that. I'm sure he'll be able to help. I just want to move on, but you can't really move on without understanding the stuff you missed, you know? So I'm trying to stay caught up the best I can, but it's hard with the little gaps.

I got a letter from Russ today. It was a nice surprise, becuase I talked to him on Sunday and he hadn't said he had sent a letter. It had a funny story about Russ immitating a Drill Sergeant (for a good cause - he was trying to get some privates to straighten up) and being asked about it by his Drill Sergeant, but not really reprimanded or anything. When I've got the letter down here by the computer I'll post the story. It was great.

I've been a little worried about not being able to feel this baby move, but on Sunday I felt my uterus tightening in different spots, so I'm assuming that was baby moving. I felt Vincente around 15 weeks, and I haven't felt anything and I'm already almost 18 weeks. I think it is a combination of having more body fat than when I was pregnant with Vince (not that I'm fatter now, I was just 19 when I was pregnant with Vince - my body hadn't finished become "womanly"), and being so busy and stressed that I just don't think I'd notice any movement even if it was happening. Life was much quieter back then. I had more time to sit and be still, which is probably conducive to feeling baby movements a little earlier. I have an appointment with my midwives on Thursday, so I'll hear the heartbeat and everything. She'll probably give me a few other reasons I may not be feeling the movement yet, but she'll assure me that everything is just fine.

And everything is just fine :)

my favorite moment of the week

The phone call!!

Although our talk was brief today, it was one of the most heartfelt we have had. A real heart-to-heart. I miss Russ so much. So much that I wrote him a letter tonight, more about what we talked about on the phone. With him gone, I think about him a LOT. Which means I think about the good times, the bad times, the hard times, the happy times, and so on. In particular, I keep thinking about all the times he has tried to teach me about humility. Those were really painful times for me - my pride was deeply hurt, and usually I just retaliated against Russ. Completely not fair for him. I think I am starting to understand what humility really means, and so I think about these moments more and more - times when my pride was hurt, and I blamed it on Russ being insensitive or selfish, when in reality, it was just me being prideful! The talks during Conference have kind of brought this to my attention as well. 

Anyway, so our talk today was nice. Waiting for Sunday is the worst part about the week, now. And the hours Sunday afternoon drag by as I wait and wait for the phone to ring. I miss him so much. More than I can even express. I'm counting down the days until we get to be with him again.

mothering

As Vincente gets older and understands more things and is developing his personality more, I worry about making sure he learns good things. It breaks my heart when he throws tantrums and gets mad and flops around like a crazy person. I almost feel like I am some cause of these negative emotions.

Then I have to remind myself that he's a human being, and it's GOOD for him to experience all kinds of emotions, even negative ones. I just hope I can help him learn how to deal with the negative emotions, and minimize them. It's hard for a one year old to understand that he can make a choice to be happier, and he doesn't have to get mad over little things. That's probably my biggest goal right now - helping him understand that. It's hard to know how to do it. I'm trying to set a good example by not getting mad at things, and trying to be happy and peaceful. I'm trying to make sure we say family prayer, so we can have the spirit in our home. I'm trying to make sure we read the scriptures every day so we can learn about the gospel principles that will keep us happy. I just hope all that rubs off on him, that he figures it out.

Part of it might be that Russ is gone. That can screw up anyone's emotions (let me tell you!).

The challenges we face by being mothers are some of the most difficult, but at the same time the results are more rewarding than anything.

I suggest reading a book by Dr. Wallace Goddard (my old institute teacher) - The Soft-Spoken Parent. He says a lot of good things in this book that have really helped me as I try to be a better parent for Vincente. The most satisfying thing about Bro. Goddard's writing is that he always bases parenting on the gospel. He has an amazing way of making you think about your testimony of Jesus Christ as the way to parent. He wrote a very good article about parenting in another book, but I can't find a link to the book. I think it is called "Likening the Scriptures" or something. He edited it and has a few articles in there. My copy is packed away in my storage unit somewhere, so I don't even know the title of the article. Anyway, he has written a lot on marriage and parenting (he is an expert at both! I know his family... I know!). Anyway, I found a list of articles he wrote for Meridian Magazine. They are probably very similar to everything else he has written. I just really feel the spirit when I read the things he has written about marriage and parenting. I think there is a lot of truth in his suggestions. Sometimes you read stuff about parenting and you're like "Well... that might work in some circumstances, or for one child." Or you may say "That doesn't sound very Christlike." Or you might be confused altogether. But Bro. Goddard's suggestions and writing make me feel like "That's how Christ would do it if HE was parenting my kid!" I think the big thing about Bro. Goddard is that he doesn't really give you a bunch of different techniques for discipline, etc. He teaches you how to REALLY love your child and how to REALLY understand that they ARE a child of God. Not that any of us don't love our children, or don't think they are children of God - but some of us forget exactly what that means. Anyway, Bro. Goddard really puts some things in perspective. I feel like I am a better parent because of his teachings. All of them are in line with the gospel of Jesus Christ, so I don't feel that I can go wrong. And when I come across a certain parenting technique (for potty-training, discipline, etc) I like to weigh it against what Bro. Goddard has said, and then I know better whether it is a just and holy parenting principle, or just the world's way of "fixing" a problem.

So I got a little carried away there about Bro. Goddard - you can probably tell how much I REALLY like him :) I sure miss his institute class, that's for sure.

May Heavenly Father bless you in your righteous endeavors as parents!

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This blog is now a private blog. Hooray! I can post whatever I want! ;) Don't worry, I think we've been pretty G rated, and we're planning on staying that way.

Happy reading!

living waters

I am very excited for General Conference this weekend. It's something I always look forward to, but at this particularily complicated time in my life, I am needing it more than ever. I love hearing what the prophets and other leaders have to say to us. Their testimonies are bolstering and their words are always encouraging and uplifting (even when they are reprimanding us!).

I always like to have some questions in mind that can be answered. The answers don't always come word for word from the speakers' mouths, but the spirit always answers them for me in some way. There have been some conferences where I come away 100% sure that a certain speaker said a certain thing, but when I look through the Ensign the next month, I can't for the life of me find the "quote" I thought I heard. Interesting, eh? Anyway, I do look forward to feeling the spirit of conference, and now that Vincente is getting bigger, it will be easier to listen (even if he doesn't listen, at least I can now that he's better at amusing himself). 

I'll miss visiting Aunt Lavina, but I don't have Russ, and Jessica is busy spending conference Saturday with a certain somebody. On top of that, Aunt Lavina just got back from a trip to North Carolina, so she's probably exhausted.

Anyway, it's time to put a cranky toddler to bed. Of course. "Eee cup?" (That's how he asks for his sippy cup)

closer

I am getting there - almost caught up in my classes. Definitely making progress. Feeling better all around. Life is much better with this car accident thing far far behind me.

Missing Russ. Making plans to drive to visit Russ for Thanksgiving - cheaper than flying anyone anywhere. Plus, I'll probably be able to get some BYU student(s) to hitch a ride.